A Graceful Garden

One Year Progress Report

2010-02-01T11:15:00.006-05:00

Anyone who has ever tried to diet throughout the holidays knows how difficult it can be. But being raw is another story! Throw the emotional stresses of a family health crisis into the mix and it becomes a recipe for disaster.

I am human. I have not made it through the holidays or the crisis at my desired level of raw vegan. In fact, I have completely failed to maintain 100% raw longer than a few days at a time. Fortunately I did have a pretty good routine in place that kept me coming back to what I still believe to be the best diet for me. But, again, like dieters everywhere know, once you cheat, it is so difficult to go back.

It was my intention to get things back on track once the holidays were over, but that hasn’t been very successful either. Dealing with my husband’s cancer has been such an emotional experience that I have found myself going out of my way to find comfort foods on a regular basis. The urge to stuff my feelings has not only been just for comfort but to actually function during this very stressful time. All the nights of no sleep have left me with a need for caffeine to stay awake during a day when I needed to drive and make difficult decisions. The caffeine would then stimulate my appetite and I would soon find myself craving heavier foods. The chemo treatments that are supposed to shrink my husband’s tumor have so far been ineffective and the emotions that have surfaced have been overwhelming. There is such a desire to go back to our old social patterns of eating out and enjoying SAD food to just have some part of our life be “normal” again. Traveling around the city in cold weather has also been a strong pull to eat warm, comfort foods.

Given the nature of things in my household right now, I have decided to give myself a break and just do the best I can with my raw foods. I am still very committed to going back to being 100% raw, I have just reaped too many benefits to go back to a completely SAD diet. But I also have to acknowledge that it takes a lot of time and effort to maintain and it has become increasingly harder to do with all that is happening in my life right now. At some point in the process of caring for my husband, I am hoping that he will agree to eating more raw foods himself. That would certainly help both of us. I am sure that his health would be drastically improved by the raw vegan lifestyle, but that is a decision that only he can make for himself. He isn’t there yet and right now his comfort and satisfaction is my primary goal.

Don’t get me wrong, I still pack pounds of produce, pates, smoothies, and my own trail mix into the oncology center with me each time we go for his chemotherapy. But at some point the desire for comfort foods hits with a vengeance and I am tired of trying to fight the cravings and all my emotions around this circus of events.

Forgive me if I have let you down, but I need to find a way to cope while all this is happening to our family. I will come back when I am more grounded in taking back my raw lifestyle. I still believe that eating a 100% raw vegan diet is the best possible path to good health and happiness.
Thank you to all who have written to me and continue to support me as I travel this path. You don’t know just how much I appreciate, and depend on, your efforts to keep me going. I will be back.

Healing All Around

2009-12-06T11:26:00.008-05:00

Last night my dear friends, Diana and Risa, rescued me from my depression by having a raw potluck at Diana's home. It was a wonderful effort that I so appreciated. I go back more than a decade with both of them, so it was easy conversation and lots of raw food. A few other guests were also present and we had such a good time that I really didn't want to come home. My two friends had decided that it would be good for us to do this on a monthly basis and rotate the hostessing duties going forward. This decision came right about the time Joseph was diagnosed with cancer, so I really didn't have much of a part in planning the first event other than to say "great idea...run with it!" I threw my hat over the wall and said I would host the next one in January. I have no idea how things will be with my husband by then, but it would be nice to have friends over for New Year's.

Last night's fare included zucchini and spaghetti squash noodles with pesto sauce, collard burritos with a cheesy sauce, kale chips, salsa, crudites with a sunflower seed pate, a kale salad, pomegranate pudding, and raw pumpkin pie with a whipped topping. It was all so good that even the non-raw foodists in the bunch seemed to really enjoy it.

I was so happy to have this diversion as it has been really difficult to maintain a very positive outlook since my husband's cancer diagnosis. This weekend he decided to review the Landmark Forum, an adult educational seminar, to help get himself into a better frame of mind before starting chemotherapy tomorrow. I stayed home so I could process massive amounts of produce through the blender and juicer for him to take with him for the weekend. Shopping and chopping vegetables have been the hallmarks of my weekend until last night. The social activity was very welcome.

Joseph has been struggling with the 100% raw diet. When I realize what he instantly changed in his dietary intake, it is a wonder he has been able to function! He has had caffeine withdrawal, lots of emotional detoxing, all kinds of physical sensations, and cravings galore. The poor man has really given it his best and has finally decided that he needs to go back to a transitional diet. I agree, but we are still trying to sort out just what he needs to be eating right now. We have added some fish and chicken back into his fare along with brown rice, quinoa, lentils and some beans. I believe that having these cooked foods will make things much easier for him. He has already given up coffee, processed starches, refined sugars, all red meat, eggs, and dairy. That is a huge change already.

Last night Diana's mother gave me a well-worn copy of A Cancer Therapy by Max Gerson, M.D. I have been listening to tapes about his treatments and reading his daughter Charlotte's book Healing, The Gerson Way. Much of it seems really radical, especially to someone coming from a standard American diet, but to me, a lot of it seems quite logical. What Joseph has implemented that the book completely supports is juicing. In the interest of not busting the budget completely, we have limited the juices to one quart a day for each of us. It is having a very positive effect on me and I know that at some level, it is healing Joseph. We just don't have the evidence for it yet.

Another healing modality that we have brought back into our lives is the work that Aniel Love and Fred Payne do. Both of these energy workers have been instrumental in restoring complete health and vitality back to Joseph. Again, we don't have the evidence of it, but it is making a huge difference in his daily outlook.

Cancer seems to demand that it's victims take a long, hard look at themselves and how they have been living their lives. It goes from the inside out and back again. We have had so many people tell us of various things to do that it is hard to research every one of them. But the consistent theme among them all is having a positive mental outlook. At this point I can report that we are doing everything we can. I pray it is enough.

The Wrecking Ball

2009-11-04T23:49:00.007-05:00

Dear Friends and Family,

Many of you will be reading this for the first time and wondering how you didn't know about my new lifestyle. It isn't that I was trying to keep it secret as much as it was to spare you from thinking that "this is Karen's latest diet scheme." On the sidebar you will see my successes with eating a raw, vegan diet. Despite struggling from time to time to maintain this new way of eating and healing my body, what hasn't wavered is how my health has continued to improve. My husband has seen this progress and has tried to go raw himself, with mixed results.

But, if you didn't know before, you are hearing it now because three weeks ago a wrecking ball hit our lives and changed it forever. We have discovered that my Beloved's life is in jeopardy. We have learned that he not only has cancer, but that his is an extremely rare kind and difficult to treat. Right now we are in New York City with appointments at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center littering our calendars. Our local doctors have referred us here because so little is known about this particular type of cancer. In fact, there are less than 500 known cases! There are very few doctors who have even seen this type of cancer before, and even fewer who have successfully treated it. One who has, is here in New York City...the closest to our home.

I now realize that everything I have done to improve my own health has only been a practice run for the real race. It is no longer about me...it is about saving my husband's life. The volume has been turned up on the loud speaker, I have now become savvy in medical terminology, and the reading list has grown to include medical publications. There is a stack of information that now consumes my every waking moment. What I once considered to be an "extreme" raw diet is being reviewed for anything that can help my husband fight this battle. The swords are drawn, the shields are ready and the juicer is being put to the test! You can be sure that my husband's nutritional intake during this ordeal will be organic, vegan, and raw as much as possible.

I don't expect the medical community to approve of our approach to his condition, but I don't approve of theirs either! Somehow we are going to have to blaze some new trails if he is to survive. We don't know exactly how we are going to manage his treatment yet, but suggestions and advice are pouring into my inbox at an alarming rate. We clearly have a lot of support from our community!

So, for those of you who have been following this blog, I will say to you that things are going to take a sharp left turn here. I am no longer going to be so casual about how I talk about being raw. This is going to be hard-core from now on. For the rest of you, I am asking for your support...Joseph's life is on the line.

Matt & Angela

2009-10-31T22:28:00.005-04:00

This past Monday evening I had the rare privilege of meeting two of my favorite raw food gurus: Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes-Monarch. I have followed the both of them for almost 2 years now and seeing them in the flesh felt to me like seeing old friends again. Of course, they didn't exactly have the same reaction! I knew them...shouldn't they know me?!!!

When I first started talking about going raw, my daughter bought Matt's book Raw Spirit for me. She picked his book because he talked so much about what it was like getting started. The book really prepared me for my journey by letting me know a lot of what I later experienced. I also liked Matt's theory that as long as you are eating raw, your body will eventually find its own balance and you will eat less.

Shortly after reading Matt's book and deciding to move forward in search of other raw foodies who had achieved what I wanted to do....namely lose weight, I found Angela Stokes' blog. I immediately became a huge fan of hers. I loved her down-to-earth approach and the fact that she published what she ate every single day. She has written several books that I have found extremely helpful, namely her latest, Raw Emotions.

When I first started following Matt and Angela, I wondered why Angela kept talking about Matt. Finally I realized that she and Matt were in a relationship. Well now they are newlyweds and touring the United States together...sharing their own experiences and opinions on the raw food lifestyle.

These two are truly hard-core raw foodists. They have years of experience being raw and are relentless in their pursuit of perfect health. While I am not ready for everything they do, I have come a long way because of them. I am very grateful to have had a chance to meet them and speak with them personally. I came away from the evening with the happy feeling that I am on the right path and that I am not alone. Even my husband was inspired by them and he is not an easy sale!

I'm Baaaaa---aack!

2009-10-16T12:13:00.008-04:00

As some of my more gracious friends have pointed out to me, I have really been a slacker on my blog lately...and they are absolutely right. But, I assure you, dear ones, that I am alive, well, and still eating raw foods.

This past summer posed new challenges that had me straying away from my resolve to be 100% raw. At times I dipped down to 50-75% but repeatedly, I renewed my efforts to get back to 100%. There was some strong motivation as I did not feel as well physically or mentally. I was really irritated to see the pounds that had so stubbornly departed my body, come racing back to join the rest of their undesirable crowd. That's where I drew the line. I have not come this far to give up or give in to my middle age blubber.

So, what have I learned while I have been dabbling in the dark arts of SAD cuisine?

1) That see-sawing back and forth between being 100% raw and only half raw is very rough on the body. I can't count the number of times I suffered indigestion, heartburn, constipation and other unpleasantries from eating things I should not have.

2) It is very easy to talk about eating raw when I am 100%. Not so easy when I have my downfalls. No one wants to be a public failure.

I am sure there are other things I could mention, but in the interest of not stalling any longer, I'll leave it at that.

Summer Fun, Redefined

2009-09-08T11:30:00.008-04:00

Summers in Ohio are supposed to be about fun, travel, amusement parks and the like. However I have found myself on a roller coaster ride that I didn't plan to be on for the past 6 weeks. I have been traveling back and forth across several states in an attempt to get my daughter settled into a comfortable living arrangement for college this fall. After Plan A came to a surprise ending, Plan B took a nosedive, and Plans C, D, and E crashed and burned, we finally found what we thought would be a workable situation for her. Not so. Once she was finally moved into her new home, with her cats, and most of her worldly possessions, she realized just how awful the situation was and how homesick she was. Other circumstances became contributing factors to her misery and we are now planning another trip to bring her back home. She will go back to the college she had been attending, so at least something is still happening with her education.

All this has been a constant strain on my emotional and physical well-being. Trying to stay raw while traveling is difficult enough, but doing it from a hotel room is another story. It doesn't help when everyone else really just wants to sit down in a restaurant for every meal. I don't know how Angela Stokes and Matt Monarch carry on with their nomadic lifestyle, but it certainly is not for me!

I did the best I could with all this turmoil to maintain a healthy raw diet. I spent long hours preparing foods to pack into a cooler on each and every one of these trips. I hauled ice every day down hotel corridors and made countless trips to grocery stores for still more ice and perishables along the way. I definitely built up some strong arm muscles hauling that cooler around!

In the end, I did succumb to several cooked food meals, which led to cravings for more cooked food. Every time I came home, I got myself back on track until the cravings took over again. So it has turned into a real challenge to stay raw.

One thing I want to mention here is that while I believe the Rainbow Green Live-Food Cuisine is the ultimate food plan, I felt like I was walking a tightrope trying to maintain it during all this chaos. While I would really like to make this a permanent change, I have to admit that I am going to use it as a guide rather than a strict rule. Frankly, I have not been as happy as I was when I was following my own plan. My blood sugars are back under control, so I am going to cautiously add fruits back into my daily intake. Clearly I will need to find a new balance but as long as I continue eating raw, I know my health is improving and that is the real goal.

You will notice that I have posted my results over on the side bar for all to see. For those of you who have written me with your concerns about my diet, I hope that now you will understand some of the benefits that I have enjoyed since embarking on my raw journey. This really does work!

Photos: Top: The Mantis at Cedar Point, Sandusky, Ohio. Bottom: The Tightrope Walker, oil painting by Everett Shinn.

A Complete 180

2009-07-29T23:24:00.000-04:00

Today was my 180th day of being a raw vegan! I confess that not every one of those days was 100% raw, but darn close. I would say it averages out to be 99.998% raw in all that time. The only times I wasn't completely raw was when I was away from home and had no other choices. But my commitment remains strong.

I have had several people tell me that they are worried about me. This completely baffles me as there has been such a radical improvement in my body, soul and mind since starting down this organic garden path. I have a short list of some of the ailments and conditions that used to plague my health....in a day or so I am going to post them on the side bar for all to see. Hopefully it will quell any doubts or concerns.

But for now I will happily tell you that I have dropped 32 lbs. during this time! That is about 1 and 1/4 lb. per week. A healthy loss...nothing radical at all. Since attempting to go raw back in November, I have shaved off a total of 42 lbs. Not bad, if I do say so myself!

I feel like I have completely turned my life around with this decision...not an easy thing to do for anyone, but the rewards have been well worth it. I will stay this course and see where it takes me next.

Back to Business

2009-07-28T22:49:00.004-04:00

I have done enough dawdling this summer....it's time to get back to blogging!

My Rainbow Green Live-Food Cuisine plan has been remarkably satisfying. I have not been hungry and have found lots of new recipes that keep things interesting. My eyes are brighter, my skin is clearer, my blood sugars are down and I have dropped a few more pounds. My energy seems to be increasing too. I am very happy with this plan.

I have also had a few strangers come up to me and rave about my skin! One woman in the grocery store insisted that I tell her what creams I use on my skin at night. She kept asking me if I had tried various products. She would not believe me when I told her that being a raw vegan gave me my glow. She followed me around the grocery store and kept asking me questions about my skin. I finally told her that I occasionally use olive or coconut oil. That seemed to be what finally satisfied her as the last I saw her she was looking over jars of coconut oil!

But it is true, my skin has been noticeably clearer and smoother. The woman was quite shocked to learn that I was 16 years older than her! She thought I was 10 years younger than her. You just can't argue with results like that!

My only difficulties with the plan occurred on a recent trip to another city for 4 days. Even though I took lots of food along and located a couple of raw vegan restaurants in the area, I still was not able to maintain the program the way I wanted. I ran out of some things and had no place or time to prepare anything else. One of the restaurants closed early and another was way out of the way, so I never got to either of them. It was very frustrating trying to find something to eat that was not just an iceberg lettuce salad. I finally succumbed to my hunger and ordered regular vegetarian meals from the local restaurants. I was not very happy about the limited choices.

But it was not a problem going back to the plan. In fact, it was a welcome relief to return to what really makes me feel good. My first couple of days back on the plan had me detoxing like a mad woman, but I feel so much better now. I do believe I can stick with this program for the long haul. And that is a very good thing!

Decision Time

2009-07-11T23:33:00.004-04:00

As I approach the six-month mark on my raw food journey, I have started to evaluate my progress once again. While I have been very happy with my plan, I have to acknowledge other people are reporting much better results in the same amount of time. While I generally don't compare myself to others, it has been discouraging to realize that many on this path are achieving much more dramatic results. There are some other hard facts that I do need to address that are pushing me to make some changes.

I have not dropped as much weight as I had expected or hoped.
My energy levels still are not as consistently high as I would like.
My blood sugars have been slowly creeping higher.

While I could live with my slow progress over the first two issues, I can not ignore the last one. To date, I am the only person in my family who has not been diagnosed with diabetes and I fully intend to maintain that status. My doctor is not concerned at this point, but my fasting blood sugars have crept into the 110-120 range....up from 90-100 last November.

Before leaving on vacation, I was not aware of my blood sugar situation and had fully intended to try Dr. Doug Graham's 80-10-10 diet when I came home. Those who use his plan eat only fruits, which gives one 80% carbohydrates, 10% protein, and 10% fats. I had tried this plan once before a couple of years ago and dropped 6 lbs. in the first few days, and nothing again for the remaining 2 weeks. During this time, I was badgered constantly by a "coach" about eating more calories. The coaching became rather abusive and I struggled to eat 1200 calories a day. I dropped the program and immediately gained all the weight back in short order.

This time I thought that reading the doctor's book and getting the facts might change the outcome. Again, I saw others having great success with this program and figured I must have been doing something wrong. Reading the book and following it properly should bring a much faster weight loss.

But now that I have tuned into the blood sugar concern, I am reluctant to eat only fruits. Dr. Graham blames excess fat in the diet for diabetes and claims that an all-fruit diet will lower blood sugars to normal levels. I am not convinced. I also know that the diet is so very restrictive. It certainly can not be maintained by average humans for indefinite periods of time. While my plan isn't a rapid weight loss plan, I have been able to maintain it for a long period of time.

So the question remained as to what to do. Should I just do my own plan and cut down or eliminate the fruit? Move to low-glycemic fruits only? Find another solution?

A couple of months ago I saw Dr. Gabriel Cousens' documentary Simply Raw: Reversing Diabetes in 30 Days. The subjects of the film took weight off quickly as well as lowered their blood sugars and medications. The program restricts fruit in the first phase of his plan and then only adds back low-glycemic fruits for a maintenance plan. He advocates using high-glycemic fruits only occasionally. Dr. Cousens' plan also encourages a lot of healthy greens, nuts and seeds. It is much closer to what I have been doing but without all the fruit.

This approach seems to fit with what I deem to be good common sense and I have decided to transition over to it. In just the first couple of days of cutting back on the amount of fruits I have been eating, my blood sugars have already started to drop. But things are certainly out of synch with me right now as I have had incredible cravings. Still I am going to try this plan and see how it goes over the next couple of months. I know that I can always return to my own plan and just reduce the fruit if I need to, but if I see good progress, I will be sticking with Dr. Cousens.

I am going to halt my daily food reports at this point. Some of the recipes I will be using from now on are from Dr. Cousens and are more complex. It wouldn't be appropriate to list them here. However, if anyone has questions or comments about what I am doing, feel free to drop me a message at gracefulgarden@insight.rr.com. I would love to hear what other people have to say about this too...especially if you have done this program.

Be well!

More Detox - Mood Swings

2009-07-07T22:08:00.005-04:00

Just about every raw foodist that I have ever read about or met has raved about how much better they felt in every way...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have personally experienced a huge change in all these areas. Last year this time, I was extremely depressed and was sure I was about to die. Just switching to a vegan diet made a big difference, but once I began to move towards the raw, vegan diet, my whole outlook began to change to a much more positive view. I generally feel better and am not on any kind of mood-enhancing drugs!

However, I have noticed that as I continue to purge the many toxins polluting my body, that I have occasional mood swings that frequently catch me off guard. They generally range from being absolutely ecstatic to ragingly angry to being rather sad. Not being an especially "moody" person, I have become rather interested in observing these moods as they cross my consciousness.

Now, certainly we all have mood swings, and as all women know, we have more than our fair share....and they aren't all from hormones! But what we do with those moods seem to have an impact on our lives in ways that we might not be aware.

As we detox our bodies, the mind is certainly impacted. Chemicals that have been circulating through our brains might diminish, and as purer blood and oxygen begin to feed and nurture the cells, certain emotions, memories and thoughts begin to emerge. Several people have reported whole new ways of thinking about their lives after they go raw. Others experience a lift of a "brain fog." Some just start to experience their lives in new and different ways. There is a whole rainbow of experiences that others say they have experienced, but most agree that they have gone through some moods in the process.

My personal theory is that as we release toxins from our body and brains, emotions that have been stuffed begin to surface for our review. We could just stuff them back down with more food, or we can start to deal with them. Most people who are overweight have done this stuffing process for a long time to avoid the pain of having to deal with a lot of negative emotions. But if we deal with the emotional pains of the past, we start to get really honest with ourselves about who we really are. We begin to shift our view of life to a much clearer vision.

My personal opinion is that as our world view shifts and changes, and as we get more honest with ourselves, we experience these moods as indicators of emotions we need to pay attention to. Ignoring them could be damaging to our cleansing process as well as burying deep feelings that become issues for us to deal with at a later time. For me, the moods have forced me to deal with issues in my life that I had been ignoring, hoping they would go away or change on their own. The moods have been warning signs that something is happening that I need to pay attention to.

In a society where women's moods are so degraded and dismissed, I have gone along with convention and ignored and/or stuffed my feelings for a very long time. This has cost me my physical and mental health, my intuition, and my natural exuberance for life. I now see my moods as sign posts...showing me what I need to do to lead a healthy, happy life. I will not allow anyone to dismiss or invalidate what I am feeling ever again. There is just too much at stake. I am learning to honor my moods/feelings/emotions in a way that I never have before and my life is the richer for it.

On Monday I ate:

Breakfast: Nothing...wasn't hungry.
Lunch: Salad with spinach, celery, red bell pepper, cucumber, tomato, lemon juice and olive oil
Supper: Corn chowder with fresh corn, red bell pepper, shallots, cashews, garlic, celery.

On Tuesday I ate:

Breakfast: Muesli with chia and hemp seeds, goji berries, mulberries, almonds, walnuts, lucuma powder, banana apple, and almond milk.
Lunch: Collard burrito with walnuts, tomatoes, red onion, nama shoyu, chili powder, cumin and collards.
Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with arugula, celery, grapefruit, clementines, avocado and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar, and olive oil.

Photo note: NO, that is not me. If I had a body like that, I wouldn't be writing this blog! But, doesn't her mood just say it all?!!

The Journey

2009-07-05T23:33:00.005-04:00

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars, began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

~From New and Selected Poems by Mary Oliver

Thank you, Laura for sharing this with me. That is exactly how it has been.

Thursday's intake:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana and collards.
Lunch: Bowl of sauerkraut
Supper: Collard burritos with walnuts, tomato, onion, Bragg's Aminos, cumin and chili powder.

Friday's intake:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, grapes, banana, spinach and kale.
Lunch: Collard burrito.
Supper: Salad of spinach, tomato, celery, carrots, red onion, lemon juice and olive oil.

Saturday's intake:

Breakfast: Juice of beet, carrot, celery, apple, ginger and lemon.
Lunch: Salad of cucumber, arame, red bell pepper, red onion, vinegar and olive oil.
Supper: More of the cucumber salad, guacamole with crudites, and a vegan potato salad (not raw!)

Sunday's intake:

Breakfast: Muesli with chia seeds, walnuts and almonds, mulberries, goji berries, banana, apple and almond milk.
Lunch: Collard burrito.
Supper: Bowl of sauerkraut and kale chips.

Emotional Detox

2009-07-01T23:58:00.008-04:00

Imagine this:

A husband and wife are driving across country to their vacation destination. It is a 24 hour drive from their home to a cabin high in the Rocky Mountains. They have been driving since 4 am and it is now 8:15 pm. Both are tired, but want to get as far as they can on the first day of driving. They stop in a city along the way at a restaurant with free internet access, and the husband books a hotel room in a town 260 miles away. The wife feels she has had enough for one day and begs her husband to make the reservation in a closer city. The husband insists that he is awake and alert enough to continue on for several more hours.

As they climb back into their car, the woman snuggles under a blanket and tries to get comfortable for the 4 hour ride into the night. She tells her husband that she feels like she is 7 years old. As she says the words, she wonders why she is saying that. Suddenly memories and emotions from her childhood come rushing back and she is overcome with grief and sorrow. She spends the next couple of hours in the car crying and sobbing while her husband listens attentively.

That is what happened to me on our trip to Colorado. Out of the blue, a tragic memory was brought back to life with the full array of emotions. This was not a memory I had forgotten or suppressed. It had always been very clear to me what had happened and why, but at the time I was never able to feel or express the sadness, grief, and insecurity it brought to my young life. Not once in my entire life had I ever felt the pain of that event until a couple of weeks ago. It was overwhelming and it was like it was happening all over again in that moment. The images in my mind were vivid and the feelings were intense.

Such has been my experience of emotional detoxing. Things pop up out of thin air and I become an emotional basket case on the spot. Usually it is triggered by something being said or done in the moment that is similar to the original event that caused the feelings. So far there has been little I can do to turn off the emotions when they surface, or to resurrect them later when I can deal with them privately. I have had to leave grocery stores after glancing at certain foods my mother used to buy during holidays. I will go to my car and have a good cry before returning to my shopping. The fact that my mother has been gone for almost two years now, and I have grieved extensively for her, seems to make no difference when these hidden emotions decide to emerge.

I will say that despite the intensity of the feelings that arise, they are manageable now, where they might not have been at the time they were impressed upon me. The duration of the discharging process seems to vary with the time, place, conditions and intensity of the feelings. Having a sympathetic listener and plenty of time in the car that night allowed me to fully explore the event and the full range of emotions that it caused, and I took full advantage of the situation to just "let it all hang out." Other times I have retreated from public places for a minute or two and just let out as much as I could in the moment before composing myself and returning to my activities.

Like many overweight people, I have stuffed a multitude of feelings over the years. A less than happy childhood has given me a lifetime of opportunity to spend time on a psychologist's couch. But I find it particularly interesting that 3 1/2 years of therapy, 4 years of re-evaluation counseling, decades of introspection and self-analysis, stacks of self-help books, and countless workshops and seminars, have not brought these feelings to the surface the way that eating raw has done. I am absolutely convinced that this is truly healing me...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Eating raw, living foods allows the body to heal and consequently allows every other dimension of a being to heal.

There are various theories as to just how eating raw foods allows one to detox emotional baggage, and I won't share my personal theory here right now. But rest assured that eating raw will allow you to discharge every toxin in your entire being. True health and a connection with your divine self is possible!

On Tuesday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with banana, orange, spinach and collards.
Lunch: Zucchini spaghetti with a sauce of tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic and onion powders, red bell pepper and vinegar.
Supper: Romaine lettuce wraps with avocado, tomato, onion, lemon juice, dulse, and a cucumber, tomato and onion salad with olive oil and vinegar.

On Wednesday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of apple, banana, strawberries, and romaine lettuce.
Lunch: Bowl of sauerkraut.
Supper: Collard burrito with walnuts, onion, tomato, Bragg's Aminos, cumin and chili powder, and the rest of the cucumber, tomato and onion salad with olive oil and vinegar.
Snack: A few pieces of Shawna Stursa's raw chocolate.

So Happy To Be Home!

2009-06-29T23:26:00.014-04:00

Well, I am back from vacation. It has taken me a little while to get back to writing here...so many other priorities were begging for attention. It was a relatively good trip, and while I did stray from my 100% raw plan, I think I did very well considering the circumstances.

Despite the gang of carnivores that surrounded me high in the Rockies, I maintained my raw diet until the very end when the temptation to eat something else finally overtook me. I was completely overwhelmed every time I opened the refrigerator door in our cabin and had to pull my greens out from between the cases of beer, margarita mix, queso dips, meat, cheese, and everything else I no longer eat. It was pretty challenging. Out of a group of 10, I was the only one who had any interest in eating a healthy meal. I made big salads every night as my contribution to the evening meals, and everyone seemed to appreciate them, but maybe they were just being polite. Nevertheless, I pursued my own path the best I could and dropped another 5 lbs. in the process.

Once again, the importance of staying focused on what I am doing for my own health has been proven to me. The minute I started eyeing something the rest of the group was eating, my downfall began. The desire to fit in and be like everyone else is a powerful rip tide. Just like the whitewater rafters on the Poudre River, it was an illusion thinking I would have any control over my situation once I got into the raft with the rest of the group. Fortunately I only dipped a toe into the river and didn't attempt the full ride. My occasional bites of junk foods only confirmed my conviction to maintain the raw course.

I will get back to posting my meals in the days to come. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am back and will be sharing some fresh insights with you in the near future. In the meantime, enjoy a little bit of the Poudre River Canyon in the Rocky Mountains.

Photos from top:

1) Someone who is so happy to see me home again.

2) View of one of many peaks along the Poudre Canyon Highway.

3) The raging Poudre River near The Narrows.

4) Cache la Poudre River.

5) Our cabin.

6) View from the back of our cabin.

Colorado Bound

2009-06-12T22:08:00.007-04:00

All my bags are packed....along with 4 quarts of green smoothies, my VitaMix and half my kitchen! My husband and I are headed to the Rocky Mountains for vacation. We have a cabin way up in the mountains waiting for us, along with a few friends.

I have spent the last couple of days planning, shopping and preparing for this. We will make a final stop Sunday afternoon to stock up on produce, but for the most part I am prepared to sit and watch everyone eat freshly caught trout while I munch on my greens. This is going to be a real test of my commitment. I will not have access to a my blog, e-mail, or a phone while we are there. It will be up to me to maintain my resolve.

Forgive me if I don't post again for a while. I'll be back soon enough with some great pictures and a further discussion of detox symptoms.

Detox Symptoms - The Real Story

2009-06-09T23:40:00.003-04:00

Several people have commented to me that they would like to go raw, but simply can't deal with the detox symptoms. I find this to be an odd statement but have refrained from any blunt, truthful remarks like, "Would you rather just keep abusing your body than take a little pain?!!" Actually, I do understand. It takes a strong commitment to work through all the detox that a lifetime of abuse can bring.

But a lot of folks have indicated that they think the only kind of detoxification symptoms that one gets on a raw food diet is diarrhea. Perhaps that is the only thing they have experienced and quickly reverted back to a SAD diet to make the misery go away as quickly as they could. Chickens! You should stick with a raw food diet and experience the full palette of irritations that can come as the body throws out the junk we have been stuffing into it all these years!

Having eaten a 100% raw vegan diet now for 4 months, 1 week and 4 days now, I feel somewhat qualified to speak about the many and varied ways the body tries to cleanse itself of the toxins, poisons, and crap that the typical person ingests in a lifetime. While none of these are particularly pleasant, I will say that once a bout of detox has completed in my body, I feel so much better. But I am a little more hesitant to shout "Bring it on! It's all good!" anymore.

On Sunday, Andy Reed told me that a good rule of thumb is that a month of eating raw will equal a year of not eating raw. Given the number of years I have been on the planet and not been eating as well as I could, I figure there are a few years of detox ahead of me yet. Here is a short list of some of the things I have already experienced:

Acne
Hives
Rashes
Vomiting
Coughing
Excessive earwax
Sneezing
Runny nose
Diarrhea
Headaches
Joint aches
Muscle aches
Fatigue
Mood swings
Emotional breakdowns

Each of these symptoms has presented with numerous variations that have frequently left me wondering if something was seriously wrong. But the telltale sign that it is detox is that the condition will come and go in a short period of time.

One morning I woke up early with a sudden, serious cough. It became quite intense and I couldn't stop coughing. As it was coming from deep in my lungs, I began to wonder if I had whooping cough or some form of pneumonia. I used to get pneumonia once or twice a year and remember the horrible feeling of not being able to breathe. After about 2 hours of non-stop coughing, I suddenly choked up 2 large, disgusting, brown balls of yuk from the bottom of my lungs! The episode was over and it has not happened since.

I have never been a smoker so I have no idea what this was or why this stuff was in my lungs. But I have been able to breathe better ever since!

I have now come to regard these kinds of things as just part of a process that will likely continue for the next year or two as my body lets go of a long time build-up of toxins. I should also mention that each and every one of the symptoms listed above could have it's own discussion! Especially the last two...mood swings and emotional breakdowns. Topics for another time.

On Monday I had:

Breakfast: Muesli with chia, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, walnuts and almonds, raisins, coconut flakes, apple and banana with almond milk.
Lunch: Power balls.
Supper: Kale salad with red bell pepper, pine nuts, lemon juice and olive oil.

On Tuesday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana and Swiss chard.
Lunch: Kale salad with bok choy, sprouts, celery, carrots, avocado, black olives and a dressing of lime juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.
Supper: A salad with escarole, bok choy, celery, sprouts, parsley and a dressing of apple cider vinegar and olive oil.

Consciously Alive!

2009-06-07T22:26:00.008-04:00

The Raw Food Day Conference in Columbus was a big hit today with about 25 raw vegan enthusiasts attending. Joel Odhner, Andy Reed and Shawna Stursa put on this event for the community and really brought a new level of raw excitement to town. The combined knowledge of these 3 enlightened beings could have filled a book! I cannot begin to describe the energy and wisdom they shared this afternoon. It was a privilege to be there and to help make this event happen.

Joel's personal story and his culinary expertise were most compelling. His honesty, integrity and talent shone through like the celebrity stars that he serves. I am very proud to know this man and deeply appreciated the opportunity to meet him.

Andy is a walking encyclopedia of wild foods, ancient healing arts and body science. He exudes so much fun and joy that I could actually see his energetic body glowing 2 feet from his physical body! I would happily travel to Bloomington, Indiana to learn wild foraging from this man. His travels, experiences, and studies make him a teacher I want to follow.

Shawna is our local raw visionary and holds the torch high for all of Central Ohio. She has studied with Dr. Gabriel Cousens and can barely contain herself on the topic of healing our bodies through raw foods. She is an expert on superfoods and an accomplished chocolatier. She shared her decadent raw chocolate desserts with us today and it was like tasting a little piece of heaven!

Needless to say, my admiration and respect for these 3 raw food educators is profound. I gained so much new knowledge and information that I haven't even begun to process it all yet. I am still basking in the glow of these raw-k stars!

But the afternoon was filled with more than what The Amazing Trio brought to the table.

Michael Cohen started us off with kirtan chanting. I have experienced his special brand of music before and it really creates a sacred space for an event like this one.

The Clintonville Community Market was on hand with a wide variety of raw books. They are one of the co-ops in town and one that we frequent regularly. It was important to discover that they will allow bulk purchases at just about cost. I'll be placing an order this week!

"Kombucha Bob" Munley stopped in to talk about kombucha and it's benefits. I am just beginning to learn about fermented foods and was pleasantly surprised that his home-brewed product tasted pretty good compared to the nasty stuff I tried once before. I will be seeking out a few bottles of his brew very soon.

Lisa Gatto talked about the importance of colon hydrotherapy today too. While I have not made my first appointment with her, she has come highly recommended to me by no less than 5 people I know! Hmmm....must be something to it!

Finally, Portia from Momentum 98, a local health and wellness store, was on hand with a wide variety of products for sale. While I have not shopped the store before, I will absolutely be headed there for my next bag of chia seeds and other hard-to-find items.

This conference really served many purposes for those in attendance. Beyond all the education and information that was presented, the sense of community really took a leap forward. Raw vegans are certainly not the most visable people around town, so getting to know each other allows for lots of support.

Then there was the food! Shawna showed us how she made her chocolate treats, Andy whipped up a wild green smoothie and a watercress salad, but it was Joel who really showed us how it's done! He demonstrated how to make walnut burritos, kale salad, a curry sauce and a chocolate mousse pie. The man really knows his way around a kitchen!

I could go on for another hour about everything that happened today but I think you can appreciate just how excited I was about this conference. I feel so incredibly blessed to have met these stars in the raw food universe. I believe this has become a turning point in my raw journey and I don't even know how. I just recognize the fact that this has been a significant event in my life and I am humbled by it.

On Friday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, orange, banana, and kale.
Lunch: A burrito made with walnuts, tomatoes, onion, cilantro, Braggs Aminos and collards.
Supper: Kale salad with tomatoes, red bell peppers, red onions, lemon juice, sea salt and olive oil.

On Saturday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, and spinach.
Lunch: Another walnut burrito and a little kale salad.
Supper: More kale salad.
Snack: A few power balls.

On Sunday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with strawberries, blueberries, banana and spinach.
Lunch: More green smoothie.
Supper: Walnut burrito, watercress and kale salads with a little curry sauce and a little chocolate mousse.
Snack: More kale salad and some seaweed salad made with a variety of seaweeds and a little lemon juice.

Photos from top: 1) Shawna, Joel and Andy. 2) Joel and me. 3) "Kombucha Bob" Munley. 4) Portia.

2009-06-06T13:25:00.001-04:00

Consciously Alive!
Living and Raw Foods
Day Conference
Explore the Miraculous Healing Values of Raw and Living Foods in Your Diet

COLUMBUS, OH JUNE 7, 2009, 1:30-7:30
Unity Church, 4211 Maize Rd. www.unitycolumbus.homestead.com

JOIN US!:
Go online to www.rawlifeline.com and click on 2009 Raw Day Conference logo.
Pre-registration $50 individual/$90 couple before May 31. Door price $60/$100.

ENJOY A FULL COURSE RAW VEGAN MEAL
(please bring your own bowl/plate and utensils, limited re-usable plates for sale)

"Nutrition and Consciousness"
Joel Odhner
CEO of www.RawLifeLine.com
Joel is personal chef to many celebrities and is a culinary consultant to Dr.Oz and will share his personal transformation and extensive experience with the Raw and Living Foods lifestyle. Joel's talk will explore the connection between nutrition and our consciousness, and include preparing a consciousness elevating Raw Foods recipe.

"Living Foods for Loving Life"
Shawna Stursa
Livingfoods Educator, www.rawshawna.info
Shawna, aka Moonflower, is a visionary raw foods educator and healer whose diverse education includes extensive raw foods and theological studies with Gabriel Cousens and David Wolfe at the Tree of Life Rejuvenation center ( treeoflife.nu ) . Her talk will discuss the values of raw superfoods and Raw Wild Foods, and include preparation of a Raw Wild Foods recipe

"Ancient healing Raw Food energetics"

Andy Reed, Lac
Wind-River Acupuncture www.centerforwholism.com
Andy has extensive experience in ancient folk-healing practices including healing our bodies with the ancient system of food energetics. In his talk he will discuss simple methods of understanding our personal constitution, including how to overcome our challenges and transform gently and quickly into whole person health using the energetics of Raw Foods.

Community Is Everything!

2009-06-04T22:38:00.005-04:00

Last night was the Sharing Circle for the Raw Meetup group. There were only 5 of us there, but we all got to know each other really well. I have probably said it before, but it is well worth saying again: having a raw community around you makes a big difference in how you experience being raw. You realize that you are not the only one eating like this and you have someone who understands what you are experiencing.

Connecting with other raw foodists has made all the difference for me in terms of getting raw and staying that way. I first heard of an all-raw diet back in 1972 but only from a book. In the late 80's I read "Fit for Life" by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond and tried to go raw. I lasted for about 6 weeks eating breakfast and lunch before I caved in to the cooked food world around me. I tried again in 2006 and lasted 10 days at 100% raw. It was very difficult to do when no one around me understood or offered any support.

Then in 2007 I began to look online and found several groups committed to promoting and supporting raw foodists. When I began to talk to others about eating and staying raw, I began to get serious about making this a lifestyle. I joined a couple of groups that weren't quite the support I needed, but offered a lot of helpful advice. I continued to reach out to others and as I did so, it became a much more natural transition to eating 100% raw.

Today my raw community has 4 levels. The first is the "raw gurus" that I follow by reading their books and blogs. The second is a small group of like-minded people that I connect with by daily e-mails. The third is the local meetup group which I am truly cherishing. And the fourth, the most recent, is my husband, who has demonstrated a real commitment to making this a way of life for himself.

So now I am expanding the circle even wider by publishing an e-mail address for you to connect with me directly. You are always free to leave comments as well, but if you would like a personal response, you can reach me here: gracefulgarden@insight.rr.com.

Wednesday's intake was:

Breakfast: Muesli with walnuts and pecans, chia and sunflower seeds, goji berries, apple, banana and almond milk.
Lunch: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange and kale.
Supper: Salad with arugula, bok choy, yellow bell pepper, tomato, celery, red onion and lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt for a dressing.
Snack: Kale chips.

Thursday's intake was:

Breakfast: Muesli (same as above).
Lunch: Cauliflower with nutritional yeast, sea salt, cayenne pepper and garlic powder. (Have tried it raw and dehydrated now and like it better raw.)
Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with spring mix, pink grapefruit, orange, avocado, celery and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

Energy Surges

2009-06-02T23:36:00.001-04:00

The past several days have revealed a new level of energy for me. I have done things that I have not been able to do for a few years now...mow the lawn, walk for 3 miles, be on my feet for longer than 30 minutes! Of course it has all caught up with me now and I am feeling a little tired and sore, but I have been thrilled with my ability to do things again. The idea of being able to participate in life has really pushed me to stay active now. My mother used to say that staying active is what helped her stay young for so long. I think she had it right.

I have also been doing some decluttering of my mother's things. It is hard to think about moving forward with my life with all her worldly possessions weighing me down. It has been an arduous task sorting through her 93 years of stuff...she never threw anything away. A lot of it can be tossed easily, but some of it needs to be gone through very carefully. As the family genealogist, I want to be sure to preserve things that will enrich our family's story.

With all this new activity and the decluttering, it is not surprising that I have dropped another couple of pounds. There is plenty of evidence that exercise helps take off excess weight, but what a lot of people don't understand is how eliminating clutter can help shed the pounds too. Our "stuff" is just another form of stored energy and we feel so much lighter when we let it go. I know I will feel much better when I have completed the distribution of my mother's things. And sorting through it all is just as hard as a good workout!

So here is what I had:

On Sunday:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana and Swiss chard.
Lunch: Leftover Asian salad with kelp noodles.
Supper: Mediterranean Salad

On Monday:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with grapes, cherries, apple, and spinach.
Lunch: A bowl of sauerkraut and a handful of cashews.
Supper: Avocado, corn, tomato, cilantro, garlic powder, Bragg's Aminos, and dulse all mashed together and rolled into a couple of collard leaves.

On Tuesday:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with apples, grapes, strawberries and collards.
Lunch: Power balls.
Supper: Broccoli/Bok Choy Salad
Snack: Raw "popcorn." That's a half a head of cauliflower rolled in sea salt, cayenne pepper and garlic powder. (I ate it raw, but next time I'm going to try it dehydrated.)

Four Months!

2009-05-30T23:20:00.004-04:00

Okay, it is time to show some progress here. This was me 2 years ago almost at my peak weight. I gained another 10 lbs. or so after this was taken.

Here is how I look now. It may be hard to tell from the photos, but I think my face looks a little thinner. My stomach definitely doesn't stick out as much.

It has been 4 months since I went 100% raw! Wow. Even I am impressed. But I do need to put this into the context of what I have done with diets in the past. Typically I could always do 6 months of any kind of weight loss diet and then it would start to fall apart. With one plan, I stuck it out for a year, but there was a significant decline in my compliance after the 6 month point. So I will get really excited with my progress after I have maintained this for over 6 months.

So what have I accomplished? I have let go of 24 lbs. (33 pounds total) and at least 11 inches from specific measuring points on my body. I have gone down 2 sizes in my clothes...from a 24 to a 20. Now by any standard, these are not banner results, but there have been a lot of other changes that have made this well worth the effort...like the lack of a lot of constant pain in my body, more energy, and a significant shift in my overall outlook on life.

But the slow weight loss has been very frustrating. My diet has been easily sustainable, so I haven't fussed over the number on the scales too much. Now I am wondering if I could tighten things up a bit to see if I can get some faster results. Over the next few weeks, I am going to be looking at what steps I can take that won't be so radical that they cause me to swing back the other way and start craving and binging. Baby steps. It will be small changes that I can make easily that won't be too demanding on my regular routine. It is time to modify "My Plan" and see what else I can do.

I have also continued to do my Body Flex but have not been doing it daily. I go for short 20-30 minute walks on the days I skip the Body Flex. I think I can probably do at least 30-40 minutes of the walking and maybe find a more advanced version of the Body Flex. I have also been thinking of going back to my all-time favorite...yoga. Until now, getting up and down off the floor has been too challenging to think about doing it, but now I think I probably could.

On Friday I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange, and spinach.
Lunch: Broccoli/Bok Choy Salad.
Supper: An Asian inspired salad with marinated kelp noodles, baby bok choy, celery, yellow bell pepper, carrots and red onion. The marinade was tamari, extra virgin sesame oil, lemon juice, garlic and ginger root.

On Saturday I had:
Early Morning: Honeydew melon.
Breakfast: Muesli with almonds and walnuts, chia and sunflower seeds, goji berries and dates, apple and banana with almond milk.
Lunch: A small amount of the leftover broccoli/bok choy salad.
Supper: More of the Asian salad with kelp noodles.
Snack: A couple of power balls.

Perspective

2009-05-28T23:37:00.003-04:00

It seems to me that if I am losing weight just for the sake of losing weight, something is profoundly amiss. After doing so many different diets off and on over the years, the one thing I have learned is that the body reflects the mind and emotions. If I am emotionally upset and eat to comfort myself, then dieting isn't going to fix the problem. Maybe it will for a while, but if I don't address the emotional issues, the weight just comes right back.

So after trying traditional therapy, Re-evaluation Counseling, Overeaters Anonymous, dozens of self-help, psychology and philosophy books, numerous Landmark Education programs and seminars, practicing yoga with two Indian gurus, delving deeply into a few mainstream religions, as well as New Age faiths, I feel I have finally worked through a lot of the most plaguing issues I have had in this life.

This week I got a new perspective on it all. There haven't been multiple problems, there has been one problem that has had a hundred different tentacles! The problem was a crazy childhood as a result of being raised by adults who never dealt effectively with their own problems. Please understand, I loved my parents very much and miss them everyday, but the two of them were a couple of highly dysfunctional people trying to live their lives around some pretty big problems. I learned at a young age that food equalled love and it brought a lot of comfortable feelings. So untangling all the upset of my childhood has taken me a long time. For years I had a love/hate relationship with my mother that was a constant roller coaster ride of emotions. But in the end, I finally realized that my mother had been dealing with the hand she was dealt, just the same as my grandmother had!

I finally came to understand how I got so screwed up, but it wasn't until I cared for my mother in her final years that I was able to forgive her and ask for forgiveness. Our relationship was finally healed and then she died. I am now left to clean up the rest of the mess. It looks like 33 boxes of her stuff in my garage and another 20 or so in my basement. Once her possessions are dealt with, then I will be free to live my life and will have no more excuses for abusing my body with food.

Thankfully, I think I have learned something through all this. I have worked through a lot of the painful memories and learned that I don't have to binge on SAD foods to comfort or nurture myself. I know that a living foods diet of mainly fruits and vegetables will restore my health, my sanity and my body.

I bless the path that brought me here.

On Wednesday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, orange, banana, and spinach.
Lunch: Salad of escarole, mustard greens, orange bell pepper, celery, mung bean sprouts, and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.
Supper: Corn chowder with fresh sweet corn, cashews, garlic, green onion, carrots, and celery.

On Thursday I ate:

Breakfast: Power balls.
Lunch: Salad with spring mix, spinach, carrots, celery, mushrooms, balsamic vinegar and olive oil.
Supper: Lettuce wraps with romaine lettuce, avocado, green onion, orange bell pepper, cilantro, dulse, tomato and garlic powder.
Snack: A bowlful of sauerkraut.

100th Monkey

2009-05-26T23:22:00.005-04:00

According to Ken Keyes Jr.'s , Hundredth Monkey theory, social and cultural change can happen on a universal scale once the "100th monkey" has learned something new.

I have personally observed this and seen efforts by gurus and educators to cause this reaction. I remember hearing a long time ago that it was the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's goal to have one million people doing Transcendental Meditation. He did manage to reach the 5 million mark and far more people are meditating today than 20 or 30 years ago. I don't know what his true purpose for this was or if it was achieved or not.

None the less, I have my own theory. Instead of 100 monkeys all learning to pick sweet potatoes out of the sand and wash them before eating, I think my having reached over 100 days of eating 100% raw has had a fundamental shift on my friends and family. My husband is definitely striving towards a raw, vegan diet and my daughter cooked a vegan meal last night for herself. Other friends have been reporting that they are much more aware of what they are eating now too. Some have eliminated meat, others are eating lots more fresh fruits and vegetables, one has given up coffee, and another has had conversations with her family about going vegetarian.

If I have had any influence on these people, I am very happy about it! If I can make that kind of difference for the people in my life that I love, then I am truly humbled. If what I am doing helps someone else eat a healthier diet, then I am thrilled.

Maybe if enough of us continue to eat healthier foods, then someday maybe a lot more people will eat fresh organic produce and reclaim their health. Maybe we can heal ourselves and the planet. If one person can make a difference in the lives of others like this, just think of what else we can do!

On Monday I had:

Breakfast: Muesli with cashews, pecans, sunflower and chia seeds, coconut flakes, goji berries, apple and banana with almond milk.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with arugula, mache, oranges, avocado and the usual dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.
Supper: A salad of chopped bok choy, tomatoes, celery, fennel, red bell pepper with balsamic vinegar and olive oil.

On Tuesday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, mint, and spinach.
Lunch: Leftover salad from Monday night.
Supper: A salad of cucumbers, red onion, red bell pepper, arame, Celtic sea salt, balsamic vinegar and olive oil.
Snack: A small handful of cashews.

Photos: Top: Gelada monkeys of Ethiopia, courtesy of National Geographic. Bottom: Cucumber-Arame Salad, adapted from Kevin Gianni' recipe.

Crazy Sexy Cancer

2009-05-24T23:49:00.010-04:00

My husband and I went to see a showing of Crazy Sexy Cancer this afternoon. It is a movie about Kris Carr and her journey to a healthy life after being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It was powerful. It was moving. But more importantly, it gave me a new appreciation for my life and my health. Once again I have been brought back to a place of realizing just how precious life is.

My husband and I went to a vegetarian restaurant afterwards and as I sat there across from him, I realized just how blessed our lives are. Neither one of us has cancer or any other serious illness. We have a home and a family who love us. We have 4 cats that remind us every minute we are home that they need us. Whatever problems we have just don't compare to what Kris Carr has been through. We should be really, really happy. We should be celebrating our love for each other and how good life has been to us. Instead we talk about the stress he is under at work and how to deal with it. We really need to change our lifestyles. We need to be appreciating every moment we are alive, well and happy.

Another raw friend lost a kidney to cancer this week. She is back home and in good spirits, but her cheerful attitude belies the worry she went through prior to surgery. The threat of chemo and radiation probably took a year or two off her life.

I need to think more about how good my life is instead of complaining about how slow my weight loss is or how the neighbor's dog wakes me up every morning. Thank God I can wake up in my own bed and hear that dog barking.

On Saturday I ate:

Breakfast: Muesli with cashews, walnuts, sunflower and chia seeds, raisins and goji berries, coconut flakes, banana, and apple with almond milk.
Lunch: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, kale, raw cacao, maca powder, spirulina, and flax seeds. (Felt I needed the super foods.)
Supper: Salad with arugula, mache, fennel, tomatoes, celery, red bell pepper, leeks and a lime, Dijon mustard, agave nectar, and olive oil dressing.
Snack: Kale chips.

On Sunday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, orange, strawberries, peaches, mustard greens, mint and spinach. (It was clean out the fridge time!)
Lunch: A salad of mixed greens with a lemon/herb/olive oil dressing and mint tea.
Supper: Fresh corn mixed with some kim chi. (Odd combination, have no idea what inspired that!)

Photo: Kris Carr from her website: http://crazysexylife.com/about/

Wanderlust

2009-05-22T23:06:00.000-04:00

It is Memorial Day weekend in the US. It is one of our quieter holidays where we remember those who have passed, especially our service men and women. I drove up to my mother's gravesite on Thursday and planted a pretty array of flowers that would have pleased her very much. Putting flowers on the graves was a tradition we honored every year together when she was alive. It seems peculiar to be doing it for her and not with her.

On my way back home from that task, I spent part of the 2 hour drive on the phone with my nephew from California. He is hosting a big party this weekend and tried to convince me to just hop on a plane and have a weekend adventure at his house. I knew it was a crazy idea and that there was no way we would be going, but then he got my husband on the phone and convinced him that we should do this. After a while, my husband talked me into it...and then changed his mind!

So after that little roller coaster ride of excitement, we are not going anywhere and I am disappointed as we really didn't make any plans for the holiday weekend. In fact, it is our anniversary and we didn't even think to dream up any excitement for ourselves!

It doesn't help matters that over the past several days I have been hearing about the travel plans for several friends and family members. They have ranged from India, Turkey, Greece, Brazil, Mexico, and China, to Alaska and Canada. I guess not everyone is experiencing a recession!

But it got me to thinking about how I would manage such a trip while staying raw. It would definitely take a strong commitment and careful planning to do it. Angela Stokes and Matt Monarch travel the world and stay raw, but for a newbie like me, it might be a bit of a stretch.

On Thursday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of apple, orange, banana, and Swiss chard.
Lunch: A few power balls.
Supper: My broccoli/bok choy salad.

On Friday I fasted until evening and then had:

Supper: Lettuce wraps with romaine, avocado, red bell pepper, tomato, sprouts and dulse.

Raw-luck Evening

2009-05-20T23:43:00.000-04:00

I went to the local raw-luck tonight. It was a hot day and it seems most of us had the same idea...bring some cool greens. Someone brought some raw coconut macaroons that I could have just sat, smiled, listened to others talk, and quietly put away every single one on the plate! I did restrain myself and saved some for the rest of the group.

My friend Diana was there tonight. She and I go back 15 years and I am so happy to have her along for this raw ride. She is quite enthusiastic about improving her health and suggested that we go up to Michigan to the Creative Health Institute together. Of course she wants to do this in July or August, but I already have a couple of trips planned for those months and am not sure I want to commit to the expenditure. There is no doubt in my mind that the trip would prove well worth the time and money, but is it the best use of resources when my daughter is scraping every dime together to pay for her education? We'll see what miracles happen.

Here is a recipe that I dreamed up a couple of days ago and took to the raw-luck this evening. I can't seem to get enough of it.

Bok Choy/Broccoli Salad

2 bunches baby bok choy, chopped

2 bunches baby broccoli, chopped

1 red bell pepper, chopped

1/3 Vidalia onion, chopped

1-2 tomatoes, chopped

3 stalks celery, chopped

1/3 cup pine nuts

Mix together in a large salad bowl.

Dressing:

1/4 cup cilantro leaves, finely chopped

1 small clove garlic, pressed

2 limes, juiced

1T. apple cider vinegar

1/4 cup water

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

Whisk all dressing ingredients together and add any other desired herbs or spices such as basil, sage, rosemary, etc. Celtic sea salt and pepper can be added to taste. Pour over vegetables and toss.

On Tuesday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, banana, orange and collards.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: A big bowlful of the above salad.

On Wednesday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of apple, orange, banana, collards and Swiss chard.
Lunch: Lettuce wraps with romaine, cucumbers, carrots, avocado. Also a few green olives.
Supper: A heaping bowlful of the bok choy/broccoli salad.

It's Not Easy Being Green

2009-05-18T23:18:00.002-04:00

People always ask how I stay raw when there are so many temptations around all the time. It is true, it isn't easy to stay raw, especially when it is not very well understood or accepted as being an extremely healthy lifestyle. But I have had a lot of support from a small community that I have built around me since before I went 100% raw. Through the miracle of the internet, I have been able to connect with other like-minded people, both in my area and in other states and countries. Generally we are such a small segment of the population that we stick pretty close together.

Today, however, I was shocked when one of the pillars of my community told me she was going to back out of a group that has been supporting each other for several months. She felt the computer time was just getting to be too much. I understand her reasons, and know that she will still be my friend and will continue to improve her health through a raw vegan lifestyle, but I don't think she knows just how much all of us have depended on her rock solid support.

This is the second time in the past couple of weeks that one of the people I have supported and depended on for my support has decided to withdraw. It leaves me feeling very alone and makes me realize how I need to continue to reach out to others.

It also reminds me of all the times when someone else depended on me for something and I have decided that I needed to go my own way. We go along in our lives and try to make the best decisions for ourselves that we can, and frequently we don't live up to someone's expectations when we decide to take another path. I am reminded, once again, that other people depend on me and look to me to keep my promises.

Kermit's tone seems just as lonely as I feel tonight.

On Sunday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, kale.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: A salad with baby bok choy, baby broccoli, red bell pepper, Vidalia onion and a dressing of cilantro, lime juice, garlic, and olive oil.
Snack: A handful of cashews.

On Monday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, orange, banana, collards.
Lunch: More of yesterday's salad.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with and alfredo sauce of macademia and pine nuts, garlic, lemon juice, Celtic sea salt and a few spices.

Horse Power

2009-05-16T23:15:00.002-04:00

2009 Preakness Winner, Rachel Alexandra

Just where do you think this Super Star Filly gets her protein? Well it's not from meat!!!

Friday's intake:

Breakfast: Muesli with almonds, walnuts, sunflower and chia seeds, dried apricots, raisins, banana, apples, and almond milk.

Lunch: Green smoothie with strawberries, banana, apple, and collards.

Supper: A handful of cashews.

Saturday:

Breakfast: Juice of carrots, celery, cucumber, beet, ginger root, lemon, and apple.

Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with arugula, spinach, pink grapefruit, orange, clementine, avocado, sprouts and dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar, and olive oil.

Supper: Green smoothie soup of tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, dulse and spinach.

A horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves - strong, powerful, beautiful - and it has the capability of giving us escape from our mundane existence. ~Pam Brown

A Delicate Balance

2009-05-14T23:58:00.003-04:00

This evening my husband and I went to a free screening of a new movie called A Delicate Balance. The film's director, Aaron Scheibner, was there to discuss the film and answer questions, making it a very worthwhile venture.

Aaron, a native of Australia, became concerned with the ongoing drought in his country and decided to investigate the causes of climate change. As he pursued that topic, he discovered that the consumption of meat can be blamed for more than just clogged arteries. The film has lots of interviews with medical doctors, references to studies, and real scientific evidence that all make a convincing case for vegetarianism...not just for our health, but for the planet. It was very powerful and beautifully done with lots of information to convince the hardest skeptic that vegetarianism might be more than just a good idea.

By the time we returned home last night, my husband announced that he was ready to move towards becoming a vegetarian! The movie made a difference for him. I highly recommend it for the carnivore in your family!

Today I ate:

Breakfast: Muesli with almonds, walnuts, sunflower and chia seeds, dried apricots and raisins, a banana, an apple and almond milk.
Lunch: Lettuce wraps with romaine, avocado, cucumber, tomato, onion, dulse and sprouts.
Supper: Green smoothie with strawberries, banana, watercress and spinach.

Road Trip

2009-05-13T23:52:00.005-04:00

A funeral called us to Louisville for the past couple of days and I certainly learned a few lessons about staying raw on a road trip! Despite my best efforts at planning and preparing foods to take along, I found myself staring down iceberg lettuce salads with nothing but table salt and pepper to jazz them up. At one point I sat in a parking lot behind the funeral home and gulped down a day-old smoothie I had brought along. NOT my preferred dining experience!

I also was confronted by all the SAD comfort food available at the wake. I know the hostess was trying very hard to be hospitable, but it wasn't even home-cooked food! It had all been ordered from a restaurant. What has happened to our society that we only want to eat food from restaurants that is cooked beyond all recognition?

On Tuesday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, oranges, ginger root, mint, spinach.
Lunch: Dehydrated veggies, almonds, clementines.
Supper: Restaurant salad of iceberg lettuce and a little bit of fruit with balsamic vinegar dressing. That was followed by a trip to a store for an avocado and pico de gallo that I mixed together in the hotel room.

Wednesday:

Breakfast: More of the same green smoothie.
Lunch: Another iceberg lettuce salad with cherry tomatoes, red onion, salt and pepper.
Snack: Cashews, crudites, and a couple of dried apricots.
Supper: Lettuce wraps with avocado, tomato, onion, cilantro, sprouts and romaine lettuce.

Smoothie Challenge

2009-05-11T23:38:00.001-04:00

A group of my raw food friends wanted to do a green smoothie challenge this week. After agreeing to try to drink as many green smoothies a day as I could, I realized I had already set myself up for failure....there is no way I can survive 7 days drinking nothing but green smoothies. I like to eat!

Actually part of what satisfies me on a daily basis is a variety of flavors and textures, which smoothies do not provide. There is one blended flavor and one texture, and I get bored with them easily. They do, however, pack a lot of nutrition into one simple meal that can be consumed without a lot of fuss...just drink and go. Other things can be added to the smoothies to give them an extra kick, but I prefer mine to be just fruit and/or greens. So while I wish my friends luck with the challenge, I am going to stick with what works for me. I will still try to get more smoothies in this week, but I won't be doing 3 a day.

Nonetheless, I tried today.

Breakfast: 1 qt. green smoothie with apple, banana, pear and Swiss chard.
Lunch: 1 qt. green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, spinach, ginger root and mint. (This is my favorite!)
Supper: Another quart of the lunch smoothie.
And then I had: Radishes and carrots with some leftover Brazil nut pate, lettuce wraps with romaine, tomatoes, cauliflower, tahini, red bell pepper, sunflower seeds and Bragg's Aminos.

I ended up overeating late in the day to satisfy my urge to chew. Lesson learned.

Photo: A smoothie favorite: mango, orange and banana.

100 Days!!!

2009-05-10T23:54:00.002-04:00

Another milestone! Every time I reach a new number of days of being 100% raw vegan, I celebrate another victory for me. There is absolutely nothing in my past that would suggest that I would ever be able to accomplish this. I do not take this success for granted though. I know that with one bite of pizza, or some other old favorite, I would be right back where I started from. There would be no "just one bite."

I had a wonderful Mother's Day today. Along with a couple of much needed gifts, my husband and daughter took me to Kingwood Center in Mansfield, Ohio. There we toured the mansion and walked the grounds admiring one extraordinary garden after another. We left there and enjoyed a picnic in a wooded park that we shared only with the wildlife. Then it was onto a small town where I spent my youth and then to Mohican State Park. We spent about an hour gazing into a deep river gorge, watching falcons and turkey buzzards soaring below us through the gorge. The only sounds were the cries of the birds, the raging river and the wind in the trees. It couldn't have been more perfect! Today I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, pear, banana, Swiss chard.
Lunch: Daikon radish salad with red and green peppers, olive oil, balsamic vinegar; a fruit salad with banana, apple, clementines, and grapes; crudites with a Brazil nut pate.
Supper: More of the daikon and fruit salads.
Also: Drank lots of water and hot herbal tea.

Photos: Top: Tulips at Kingwood Center, Mansfield, Ohio. Bottom: Clear Fork Gorge, Mohican State Park, Loudenville, Ohio

Mediterranean Moods

2009-05-09T23:25:00.007-04:00

My family all headed out the door early this morning to run their errands, so I enjoyed a leisurely day alone. At one time I might have been upset when my family didn't conform to my plans, but since I have been raw, I experience a much different attitude about how events go now. I feel like I have a lot of room for flexibility in my life and a much more generous attitude towards others. I am so much more relaxed about things and it is a quality I so admire in others. I am glad to discover it in my own nature.

It is the way I imagine people are in the Mediterranean countries....enjoying the company of others when they are present, and enjoying the solitude when they aren't. I have frequent day dreams about what life in Italy or Greece might be like. It is easy to forget that they suffer from the same stresses of everyday life we Americans do. But they do seem to have a more relaxed attitude towards life than we do.

I have a recipe for a Mediterranean Salad that I make frequently and never follow it exactly, but thought I would publish it here to share with anyone else who loves those flavors as much as I do.

Mediterranean Salad

2 - 3 big handfuls arugula, romaine, or spinach

1 small fennel, sliced

2 - 4 Heirloom tomatoes, red, yellow, etc.

1/2 red, green or yellow bell pepper, diced

1 T. capers

5-10 olives, black or green

Fresh basil, as much as you like (I like a lot!)

1/4-1/2 tsp. oregano

1 - 2 T. pinenuts

1/2 lemon, juiced

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

Sea salt

Mix all but the last 3 ingredients into a large salad bowl. Combine the lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt in a mixing cup and whisk until blended. Add a little water if it is too tart for you. Pour over the salad and toss! You can also add chopped zucchini, Italian parsley, sunchokes, or any other vegetable you fancy to vary it. I frequently use different herbs or use garlic or onion powder to sprinkle on top.

Today I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, collards
Lunch: Mediterranean Salad
Supper: A vegetable chowder with corn, carrots, red bell pepper, shallots, celery, parsley, cashews, and a green onion.

Busy Week

2009-05-08T23:28:00.000-04:00

Love the produce options at Whole Foods!

It has been a busy week around here lately. My friend Laura and I met for our "tea and wisdom" chat, which we have been doing for several years now. We sit, drink tea, and share our wisdom with each other. This always proves to be such an inspirational time for both of us. She is the light that guided me to feng shui and I will always be so grateful to her for that. This week her words brought a new vision for my life and motivated me to go home and start creating the space that supports that new vision. Friends like this are just golden!

I also went to the Raw Meetup Group to see Dr. Gabriel Cousens' documentary Simply Raw: Reversing Diabetes in 30 Days. I was thrilled to see this movie. I have known for a long time that diabetes is reversible....I did it for my mother. But to see it done with raw foods is exciting. The people in the film were ecstatic with their results and anyone can see why....they have just been given back their lives! Every day doctors tell their patients that they will be on drugs or insulin for the rest of their lives, and don't even know there are other options. What a sad state our medical field is in! Ohio is the second highest state in the U.S. for diabetes in children. There is a lot of education that needs to happen here.

On Wednesday I had:

Breakfast: Skipped.
Lunch: A few power balls.
Supper: Big green salad with spinach, spring mix, celery, tomatoes, red bell peppers and lemon juice and olive oil for a dressing.

On Thursday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, hemp seeds, and kale.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie and a salad with walnuts, spring mix, cucumber, apple cider vinegar, and olive oil.
Supper: A salad with cucumber, arame seaweed, red bell pepper, vinegar and oil.
Snack: Kale chips.

On Friday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange, ginger root, mint, and kale.
Lunch: Mediterranean salad with arugula, red and yellow Heritage tomatoes, fennel, black olives, basil, pine nuts, garlic powder, lemon juice, olive oil, and Celtic sea salt.
Supper: Lettuce wraps with romaine, avocado, tomato, dulse, shallots, Braggs Aminos, and sprouts.
Snack: Kale chips.

I will leave you with Joni Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi from 1970. It seems so appropriate on so many levels.

Save the Animals!

2009-05-05T22:20:00.006-04:00

When you become a raw vegan, the changes that take place are not just physical changes within yourself. If you weren't before, you become accutely aware of all life on the planet. You celebrate that life when it thrives and mourn when it dies.

Never before on our planet has wildlife been so threatened. It has become of deep concern to me that we could lose major species forever if we don't take action now. The species under pressure from global warming alone ranges from bears, birds, butterflies, insects, reptiles, and fish, right down to coral. Like the canary in the coal mine, these animals are a warning that we are in extreme danger. If everything else dies, we do too.

But it isn't just global warming that threatens the animal kingdom. There is habitat loss, highway roadkill, hunting, poaching, and invasive species. Of these, hunting and poaching is the most disturbing to me. There are humans on the planet who inflict unspeakable horrors on animals in the name of medicine and providing food and other products to the world. They have forgotten that we, too, are another species on the planet. Animal cruelty is the most unconscionable demonstration of disconnect with who we are as beings on the planet and there is no excuse for it.

Fortunately groups like Defenders of Wildlife and Humane Society of the United States are scoring victories for animals around the globe. They do this with support from individuals like you and me, along with celebrities and politicians who are in positions to do something to urge our governments into action. I can't say enough to encourage you to get involved with one of these organizations, or any of the others working to support life on the planet.

Yesterday the Humane Society announced that the European Union has banned the trade of products from the Canadian sea hunt! Nothing could have made me happier than to hear that the baby seals of Canada will be a little safer from the bloody, cruel deaths that Canadian fisherman have inflicted on these animals. I could go on about this for hours, but suffice it to say that I am ecstatic over this huge step towards ending government-sanctioned animal abuse. You can read all about it right here.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Smoothie with blueberries, banana and apple juice and a handful of almonds.
Lunch: Salad with spring mix, cabbage, avocado, tomato, onion, and sprouts with a vinegar and oil dressing.
Supper: Corn chowder with corn, red bell pepper, green onion, cashews, and nutritional yeast.

Spring Allergies

2009-05-04T22:11:00.003-04:00

I am not sure why I have been feeling so rotten today. I am inclined to blame my swollen joints, head and body aches on allergies. Last evening's walk in the woods may have been my undoing. Everything was in bloom and there was just enough of a breeze to blow a lot of pollen around. I have gotten through this season without any kind of allergy medication for the first time in decades, so I really can't complain. Last year this time I had a major sinus infection and was sneezing my head off. I have had none of that this year and I give my raw, vegan diet all the credit.

So I will get to bed early tonight and hope for a better day tomorrow. No telling what a good night's rest and lots of fluids will do.

Today I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, banana, pear and chickweed.

Lunch: Corn chowder made with frozen corn, green onion, cashews, red bell pepper, carrots, and a few mushrooms.

Supper: Citrus salad with spring mix, spinach, pink grapefruit, clementines, and my usual dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

Snack: A few power balls.

Lazy Sunday

2009-05-03T22:13:00.001-04:00

Mr. Maverick re-purposes a Derby Hat.

It has been a very lazy day today. My husband and I took a nice long walk in the woods. I gathered some chickweed for a smoothie tomorrow morning.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with walnuts and almonds, sunflower and chia seeds, dried apricots and cranberries, dates, banana, apple and almond milk.
Lunch: A nap!
Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with spring mix, celery, green onion, pink grapefruit, orange, clementine and avocado. Dressing was lemon juice, agave nectar, Dijon mustard and olive oil.

Kentucky Derby Day

2009-05-02T20:52:00.014-04:00

When you are married to a man from Louisville, Kentucky, the first Saturday in May is a holiday no matter where you live. Such is the case in my house. Today was Kentucky Derby Day and if you think it is just a horse race, you are quite uninformed! It is the biggest party in the United States short of the ball dropping on New Year's Eve in New York City or Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Louisville celebrates the horse race by starting a festival that lasts for up to 3 weeks prior to the big race. (They really know how to party!) They kick everything off with Thunder over Louisville, which is a plane show that lasts for hours with hundreds of planes doing various acrobatic stunts and other impressive maneuvers. All that is followed by "the world's largest fireworks display." A half million people turn out to sit on the banks of the Ohio River to watch this fantastic, day-long show.

Over the next 3 weeks there are over 100 events that include bed racing, golf tournaments, fashion shows, luncheons, dinners, balls, parades, poker, bingo, marathons, walks, a balloon festival, other horse races, obstacle course races for food service employees, and other such nonsense! All this is aided by lots of good Kentucky bourbon and tons of mint.

We don't live in Louisville and don't have the time or luxury to party for 3 weeks, but we started having our own derby parties back around 1998. Mainly it consisted of getting up late on the day of the race, perfecting our mint juleps early in the day, wearing ridiculous hats, betting quarters on the horses and watching the race on TV. The rest of the weekend was spent sleeping off the hangover before going back to work on Monday morning. We would frequently invite friends to join us, but not being from Louisville, they simply didn't understand the fuss.

When we moved into our current home, our neighbors, who were also from Louisville, showed us their hometown spirit by throwing a big party with burgoo, Benedictine finger sandwiches, derby pie, chocolate walnut pie, shrimp, grits, and gallons of bourbon. They invited everyone from their church so it was a large crowd. (I don't think they understood either, but were happy just to be fed.) There was a contest, so the hats became even more outrageous. The betting was much more intense and I think a mathematician quoted the odds for the group! They also had a BIG screen TV, so it was like having horses running through the living room.

They didn't have their party this year, so we went back to our own routine. My husband had his mint juleps. He put on his dad's 1950s hat with a red, silk rose in the band, tied a string tie around his neck like Colonel Sanders (another Louisville native), choked up singing My Old Kentucky Home, and ate cheese and crackers. But, I no longer eat meat, cheese or sugar, drink alcohol, or cook anything. So what I had was a bowlful of kale chips and my own version of a minty drink.

The kale chips were incredibly easy: Mix a little garlic powder, cayenne pepper, basil and salt into 2 tablespoonfuls of olive oil. Tear the kale into small pieces and massage the mixture into it. Dehydrate for 4-6 hours and voila!...a healthy, raw treat.

My drink was a decaffienated green and mint tea that was brewed and cooled. I smashed a half a lemon and about 8 mint leaves in the bottom of my glass with a little stevia, filled the glass with crushed ice and poured in the tea. I was pleased with my results.

We watched the race and prayed that no human or horse would be injured on the muddy track. It was a beautiful, come-from-behind, 50-1 odds horse named Mine That Bird that won. The jockey was ecstatic with his 2nd derby win and made it worth our time to watch. Otherwise it was a quiet day on the Scioto and Olentangy Rivers.

Today I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with banana, apple, strawberries, flax seeds, goji berries and kale.

Lunch: Lettuce wraps with romaine, avocado, tomatoes, red bell pepper, green onion, dulse, lime juice and sea salt.
Supper: Spinach salad with cucumber, celery, tomato, red bell pepper and lemon juice, sea salt and olive oil as a dressing.
Snack: Kale chips and my minty tea.

Here is the video of the race if you missed it. Even if you watch the inside rail for Mine That Bird, #8, you still won't see him sneek ahead.

Breaking sports news video. MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL highlights and more.

Top photo: A limited edition print found in my in-laws attic of a charcoal drawing of the original Churchill Downs Clubhouse. It is by James L. Puckett, a Louisville native.
Top left: My kale chips.
Bottom right: My "Derby Tea Smash."

Superfoods

2009-05-01T23:43:00.005-04:00

There is a group of foods known to raw foodists as "superfoods." Many of the people that I consider to be the stars of the raw food universe (David Wolfe, Kevin Gianni, Matt Monarch, Angela Stokes to name a few) use these foods to boost energy and power up their immune systems. I have tried several of these foods off and on, and know that they do work. So the real question is: why don't I use them more often? Because they can be very expensive to use on a daily basis.

However I do like to keep some of these wonder foods on the shelf and pull them out once in a while to give my body some rocket fuel. Yesterday was one of those days. I had put off some household chores too long and knew that I was going to need some serious energy to get the jobs done. What I didn't bargain for was how these foods effected me since I have dropped some weight! Cleaning the laundry room turned into way more...there were rugs to be cleaned, a big kitchen floor, a bathroom, some laundry, and the garage. I even pulled a few weeds from a flower bed too!

Now for some of you reading this, your response might be "Yeah? So what?" But if you don't know my story, I will refer you back to my original post, Swamp Fever. Suffice it to say that I spent a year in a blue recliner with no energy and no inclination to even live. So having the energy to do so much in one day is a significant event for me.

So what are these superfoods? Here is a short list of the ones I have tried. There are others, but many are very expensive and/or have to be shipped with special care. These listed are not only affordable, but are easily obtained at Whole Foods, online, or at your local health food store.

Chia seeds - Available from the Raw Reform Store
Maca powder - Available from Raw Reform Store and Whole Foods.
Raw Cacao (Chocolate) - Sunfood.com
Goji Berries - Raw Reform Store or Whole Foods
Hemp seeds/oil - Raw Reform Store
Spirulina - Whole Foods
Wheatgrass powder - Available directly from Whole Foods

Please be advised that there is a raging controversy over raw cacao/chocolate. David Wolfe can go on for hours about the benefits, but you might want to see what others are saying about it here. I personally use it very sparingly. A half teaspoon is enough to get me going and will keep me energized for long periods of time.

Today's energetic meals consisted of :
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange, chia seeds, raw cacao, wheat grass powder, goji berries, and ginger root.
Lunch: Lettuce wraps with romaine, avocado, tomato, green onion, lemon juice, sea salt, cucumber and mung bean sprouts.
Supper: Spinach salad with celery, tomatoes, red bell pepper, and a dressing of lemon juice, agave nectar, Dijon mustard, and olive oil.

Photo: From top, left to right: wheatgrass powder, goji berries, raw cacao, chia seeds, a packet of hemp seeds.

90 Days Raw!!!

2009-04-30T14:07:00.009-04:00

Ever since about day 6 of this journey I have posted the day number on my kitchen cabinet to remind myself just how far I have come. Today is Day 90!!!! Three whole months I have eaten 100% raw vegan.

I was going to post a picture of myself until I saw just how bad I still look. It was a bit of a reality check. I look so much better than I did 90 days ago, but I still can't think of myself as looking so badly. Sorry. You will just have to wait until there is more progress and then I will show you just how bad it was! I have let go of a total of 29 lbs. now....20 lbs. in the last 90 days. The progress is slow, but it is happening.

In the meantime, I went foraging this morning until the heavens opened up and completely drenched me. I was able to grab a good handful or two of dandelion greens, plantains, clover and wild mint. Everything is popping up from the ground now and spring is in full force. The lilac bushes are bursting with lavender and white blooms and fill the air with their heavenly scent. There are fields of dandelions everywhere and all the trees have leaves on them now. I love spring!

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with wild greens, spinach, mango, banana, clementines, and ginger.
Lunch: Green salad with lemon juice.
Supper: Lettuce wraps with romaine, avocado, tomato, dulse and sprouts.

Fasting Day

2009-04-29T23:44:00.002-04:00

I decided to do a 24 hour fast today. Sometimes I need to just step back and see what I am doing and fasting is a great way to do that. I also wanted to try to take off a couple of stubborn pounds as I approach my 90 day mark.

I used to fast more when I was younger and go for longer periods of time, but I can't do that anymore. Now I do 24 hours going from the evening of one day until the evening of the next. That is enough for me to feel real hunger and to gain some insight both physically and spiritually.

So I took it easy today...took a long, hot bath to keep warm, read a book and drank lots of water. Then around 7 pm I had my supper. I really enjoy the days when I do this. It seems to calm my mind and body in a way that gives me a very peaceful sense of well-being.

Here's what I had today:

Fasted until 7 pm, then had lettuce wraps with romaine, avocado, tomatoes, dulse, and sprouts.

Raw Comfort

2009-04-28T23:45:00.005-04:00

We all have our "comfort foods"....the foods we turn to when we need some kind of comfort in our lives. It can be to ease some emotional upset, to warm the body on a chilly day, or to celebrate some occasion. There are any number of events in our lives that will have us seeking out foods that may not be good for us, but serve to temporarily make us feel better.

I learned to use food to stuff my emotions and comfort me from a variety of hurts at a very young age. When I was 3 I watched my mother buy jelly doughnuts to make a bad day better. From that, a pattern was established that lasted a lifetime. It was always at odds with my interest in good health and nutrition, and ruined more diets than I can count. When I was about 13 I began to realize that eating a whole bag of potato chips or a hot fudge sundae was not something I should be doing. While I was able to cut out those two things, I found other foods I felt were better to binge on. It led to a more personal quest of foods I liked that still served the same purpose. Breads, starches in general, and fats were my favorites. They had to match the mood somehow by color, texture, and flavor. I could spend hours discussing all the foods I made rationalizations for that were "better" for me than what my mom was eating, but none of them gave me better health or real comfort.

Dealing with the reasons why I needed to eat these foods didn't come for a long time. When I did finally start to examine all the reasons I wanted to eat comfort food, the list was overwhelming. I had lots of issues in my life that I had been working on for a long time, but eating comfort food was always my first stop. I could eat if I was sad, lonely, upset, depressed, or even bored. Then, of course eating to celebrate any and all happy occasions was a given. It seems my answer to everything in life was to eat and it had to be just the right things...my comfort foods.

I remember talking with a woman a long time ago who had lost a lot of weight. She made the comment that food was just fuel for the body. WHAT?!!! How could you just eliminate such pleasure from your life? It opened my eyes to the fact that I was at one extreme and she was at another. Surely there was a way to reconcile good health with enjoyable foods. But how could I accomplish that when I needed to find a way to take care of myself emotionally?

Thankfully eating raw has stopped the madness. The emotions are much more calm and my health is improving. I still need ways to comfort myself periodically and still look to food to do it. You will notice days that I eat way too many fats and I know it has slowed down my weight loss, but at least now things are finally under control. When I get cold I grab a cup of hot tea, or a blanket, or go take a hot bath. When feelings arise I notice them and allow myself to feel them. I have volumes of journals filled with my emotions. My life is finally turning around and I am so grateful. It has taken me a lifetime to learn how to deal with life and maintain my health, but I have arrived.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Muesli with walnuts and almonds, sunflower and chia seeds, dried apricots, banana, apple and almond milk.
Lunch: The last of the raw lasagna.
Supper: Corn chowder with corn, sunchokes, green pepper, onion, carrots and cashews.

Serenity

2009-04-27T23:06:00.006-04:00

"When you become a raw foodist, it changes your life forever. Your perception of the world completely changes. While you pursue excellence in your personal mind, body and spirit, you pursue excellence for the planet as well. It happens simultaneously. You connect to the entire planet in no other way possible. You learn to appreciate things that other people don't even know are possible. It is a deep awareness that transcends words, that goes beyond language." ~Heidi Ohlander from Raw Food, Right Now!~

I love what Heidi wrote in her blog on Earth Day. I have not yet been able to find the words to describe what it has been like since I began this journey. But Heidi just summed up a big part of it right there.

When we come through a healing process by whatever means, we forget how much pain and suffering we endured before the healing took place. Childbirth is a classic example of this. Women forget whatever pain or discomfort they endured giving birth until the next time it happens. They remember that they had pain, but the experience of it is diminished over time.

It has been like that since I became raw. A healing has taken place and the good feelings I experience now are the new norm and tend to make me forget just how miserable I was. There is a calm, a peacefulness, a sense of oneness with all living things that is present now that wasn't there when I was eating a Standard American Diet. There is a connection between myself and my Higher Self. There is a relationship with my Creator that didn't exist 88 days ago. The transformation within has become more important than the changes without.

It is easy to forget how I struggled to keep from gaining more weight, how depressed I was, how I fought cravings every day. It is exactly why I need to stay present to the grace I now enjoy by eating raw.

When I set out to do this, I wanted to do it for 90 days and then decide if the changes were worth the effort. I know now, that what I feel today I wouldn't trade for anything. This is serenity.

On Sunday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of banana, apple, pear, mint and kale.

Lunch: Veggie wraps with romaine, cucumber, carrots, and celery.

Supper: Raw Lasagna with zucchini, tomatoes, cashews, lemon juice, red bell pepper and various herbs and spices. Also had a salad of daikon radish, red, green, and yellow bell peppers, balsamic vinegar and olive oil.

On Monday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with blueberries, apple, pear, mint and collards.

Lunch: Raw Lasagna and the rest of the daikon salad.

Supper: Salad with Spring Mix, celery and a dressing of Dijon mustard, lemon juice, agave nectar, and olive oil.

Snack: A few power balls.

Living a Longer Life...The Harsh Reality

2009-04-25T23:36:00.003-04:00

There has been a lot of activity around this blog lately from the discussions of the "Secrets to Living a Longer Life" on CNN's AC 360. I have been thinking about how so many of us want to know these secrets...we all want to live longer and be healthy and happy. We see the glowing faces of the centenarians from Ikaria and we want to be just like them.

But, for most of us, living a long life is not going to be a blissful slide into old age on a beautiful Greek island. For most of us, living a longer life is going to mean facing the reality of the mess our planet is in. The reins of responsibility for healing our planet and our economies are in our hands. It is going to require the leadership of healthy individuals who have the wisdom, energy, knowledge and passion for what it takes to live a long, happy life, to lead the world to a place where we all want to live longer lives.

There is no point in living longer if we are sick from breathing polluted air, drinking fouled water or eating food sprayed with chemicals. There is no joy in being homeless or begging for food to eat. There is no comfort in living where the temperatures reach unbearable extremes and bring droughts and floods to the land. There is no beauty when all the trees are dead or chopped down for industrial purposes.

Those of us who choose to live through the crises on the planet right now must accept the fact that we have trashed our home to the point of extinction of wildlife, plant life and possibly human life. We are the ones who are going to have to learn the most important lessons of living a long life.....living a simple life, stress-free, in a pristine environment. We are the ones who are going to have to demand cleaner air and water. We are the ones who are going to have to insist on organic farms to grow our food. We can no longer be complacent about how our governments run our countries. We can no longer sit back and watch the drug commercials on TV and believe that a pill will heal us. We are the ones who are going to have to demand integrity and accountability from our corporate leaders and politicians. It is up to us...those who have a stake in living long, healthy, happy lives to change the world for the better. Face it....the rest of the people on the planet are too sick, asleep, or apathetic. This battle is for the ones who can see the benefits for our children and grandchildren. It is up to us.

What are you going to do?

Friday's meals:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange, kale and mint.
Lunch: Mediterranean Salad with arugula, fennel, tomatoes, capers, red onion, sprouts, black olives, lemon juice and olive oil.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti.

Saturday's meals:
Breakfast: A few power balls (Thanks Olivia!)
Lunch: Salad of daikon radish, red and green peppers, balsamic vinegar and olive oil.
Supper: Salad with arugula, celery, green olives, adzuki bean sprouts, tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, and olive oil.
Snack: Apple, orange, and a few cashews.

Photo of hillside in Ikaria by Gianluca Colla.

Sweet Secrets

2009-04-23T23:57:00.011-04:00

Anderson Cooper's AC/360 has continued to capture my attention each night on CNN with a brief segment on "The Secrets to Living A Long Life." Dan Buettner is still in Ikaria exploring the tiny island and its people to see just what they consume to live such long lives. Tonight's feature was about the honey they eat. There are apparently 3 different kinds of honey on the island that have varying textures, tastes and healing qualities. There was no where I could find the names of the types of honey or where they could be purchased in the United States. Perhaps the Ikarians keep it all to themselves!

The honey/sweetener conversation is one that is frequent in my household. My husband probably has the biggest sweet tooth in the family and it is always in the back of my mind that someday he is going to become a diabetic. In an effort to get him off all the sugar, I bought some raw honey that I thought might appeal to him. No such luck. It sits on the shelf virtually untouched. Here you can see the jar with the brand name on it. Below is what it looks like inside. The stuff on the top isn't very tasty, but is supposedly loaded with good things for our bodies.

My daughter still uses the artificial stuff and thinks I am the nut case in the family. I prefer to leave the bees alone. They are becoming too scarce and I suspect that our society's obsession with pesticides and herbicides might be to blame. Agave nectar is my preferred sweetener, but I would love to sample the Ikarian honey. If anyone knows how I can find it, please leave a comment.

The Ikarians also favor herbal teas. They gather wild herbs in the afternoon and steep them for an evening tea. They consist primarily of wild mint, spleenwort, purple sage, rosemary and artemisia. Each of these herbs has its own healing properties, but they are all diuretics, which seem to have a dual benefit. First they lower blood pressure and second they naturally detoxify the body. Just add in a little of the Ikarian honey with your tea and you have the perfect brew for a long, healthy life!

Today I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie of banana, apple, pear, grapes and kale.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with spinach, pink grapefruit, mineola, Mandarin orange, avocado, sprouts, and my usual agave nectar, Dijon mustard, lemon juice and olive oil dressing.
Supper: Chopped mixed vegetables: corn, tomatoes, celery, carrots, shallots, adzuki bean sprouts, red bell pepper with lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt.

The Body Flex routine continues and I am seeing the results in my clothes.

Happy Earth Day

2009-04-22T23:11:00.002-04:00

Earth Day just happens to be my husband's birthday, so we celebrated his special day with a recycling theme. We wrapped all but two of his presents in grocery bags and decorated them appropriately. The other two were wrapped in green paper leftover from Christmas.

It was my intention to fast today until this evening and then just eat a salad for supper. But after eating out at a restaurant and watching my family eat cooked food, I wanted something else when we got home. Later I fixed myself some power ball goo when the rest were eating cake and ice cream.

It is time for me to make up a short list of compelling reasons why I want to stay raw. I need to type it up and keep it with me at all times. Then I can pull it out anytime I am faced with a menu of cooked food choices and remember what I am doing and why. This evening I found myself staring out the window of the restaurant telling myself why I am doing this. It would have been so easy to give in and just order some old favorite from a menu of Standard American Diet fare. I don't eat out very often any more but when I do, I really feel cheated because restaurants just don't cater to someone eating healthy. When I am home I know I can whip up something I like in a matter of minutes and be very satisfied with my meals.

Today's food:

Breakfast and Lunch: Fasted.

Supper: Salad at a restaurant with mixed greens, dried apricots, pecans and an oil and vinegar dressing. When I got home I fixed myself some corn chowder.

Snack: Power ball goo.

Did my Body Flex today, but my muscles and joints are really screaming at me. I have been told that the joint pain could also be from detoxing. The weather is supposed to clear up tomorrow so we will see if that has any impact.

Secrets to Living a Long Life

2009-04-21T23:11:00.003-04:00

Tonight on CNN, Anderson Cooper's co-anchor, Erica Hill, had a short segment on the Secrets to Living a Long Life. Erica did an interview with Dan Buettner, author of The Blue Zones, from the Greek island of Ikaria where the people there routinely live well into their 90s. Tonight's installment focused on a man who is a Greek Orthodox priest in his village. He is in his 90s and attributes his longevity to a plant-based diet. Dan specifically talked about how the priest eats wild greens! He walked down the road and in the space of 5 feet, found 5 or 6 different plants that were growing wild that the priest eats. I think I'll keep up my foraging! Maybe I will move to a Greek island too! I bet that helps towards living a long, happy life.

While I have not read Mr. Buettner's book, I have been hearing about his study of long-lived communities around the world. It seems we can learn a lot about what constitutes good health from these people. You can find out your life expectancy by taking his survey at his Longevity Calculator. If I continue my current lifestyle, I can expect to live into my 90s.

Today I ate:

Breakfast: Ruby Red Ambrosia...juice of beet, carrot, celery, lemon, ginger root, and apple.

Lunch: Lettuce wraps with romaine, cucumber, carrots, and a little avocado.

Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with romaine, pink grapefruit, orange, Mandarin orange, avocado, sprouts and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

Snack: Raw flax seed cracker.

Did not do my Body Flex today. Joints are still very painful.

2009-04-21T02:41:00.002-04:00

How about this! A Raw Foods Day Conference right here in River City! For more information go to Joel's Food.

While I don't know Joel, I do know Shawna Stursa and Andy Reed. This will be well worth the money and time to attend this event!

Another Rainy Day

2009-04-20T23:28:00.004-04:00

It has been raining for the past 2 days and it really gets depressing not to see the sun shine. But when it does come out again, it is going to reveal a spectacularly green world! Our yard is about as green as I think I have ever seen it. I can't wait to see it when the sun is shining again.

There should be an abundance of wild greens for the picking too. I can't wait to get out and do some more foraging. We drove down to Southern Ohio a couple of weeks ago and there were purple colored fields of clover everywhere. I haven't seen anything like that around here. The Mennonite farmers of Southern Ohio don't spray their fields, so maybe they have more clover. I wonder if they eat wild greens. I bet they do.

"We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect."
Aldo Leopold (1887-1948) Writer, ecologist, forester.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with cashews, walnuts, dates, raisins, chia seeds, apple and banana with almond milk.
Lunch: Corn chowder.
Supper: Salad with spinach, celery, cucumber, tomato, sprouts, and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

No Body Flex today. My joints are really hurting from the weather.

Raw-k 'n Roll

2009-04-19T23:48:00.005-04:00

Tonight one of the members of the Raw Meetup group held a dinner at her house. Everyone brought food and we prepared it there. We made lasagna, eggplant parmesan, noodles with marinara sauce, pesto-stuffed mushrooms, a daikon salad and tiramisu. It was amazing how good everything tasted.

A couple of our hostess' friends who were musicians came and entertained us with their music while we were preparing the food and then again after we ate. It was a very good time with the local raw community. For some of the people there it was their first raw meal and they seemed genuinely surprised at how good everything tasted. I don't think we had any converts, but some seeds have been planted.

I can't stress enough how nice it has been to make new friends who share my commitment to eating raw. It has been nice to share recipes, detox stories, and encouragement with people who really understand the blessings and challenges of eating raw.

Thank you, Lori, for making this event possible!

Today I had:

Breakfast: Muelsi with walnuts, cashews, chia seeds, coconut, raisins, apple, and banana with almond milk.

Lunch: Green salad with cucumbers, red and yellow peppers, celery and red onions with an oil and vinegar dressing.Supper: A little of each of the above mentioned dishes.

No Body Flex today.

A Reality Check

2009-04-18T23:01:00.006-04:00

This week has gone by with lightning speed. There has been a lot crammed into the past 6 days and it is a sample of what I might be facing if and when I ever get back to work. I think about how I would live my life if I had a full time job. I can see where I would have to do some serious planning and be very disciplined to stay raw. I would also be exposed to a lot more SAD people and would find myself staring at cooked food a lot more often. I am very grateful that I have such a good start on this new lifestyle.

I am also beginning to realize how much I live in my own little bubble. My husband told me that he told one of our friends that I only eat raw now. The friend was horrified and thought that I must be miserable on such a restrictive diet. I am shocked at his reaction and am just now realizing that not everyone is going to see this as the ultimate healthy food plan.

It doesn't help when a local journalist writes an article in the local paper about eating raw and calls it "extremism." To me, running a marathon and skydiving are extreme, but a lot of people do it. I think it is a matter of perspective. When I was really sick, feeling badly, and thought I was going to die, THAT was extreme. Eating raw has been a miracle for me. It helps to keep things in perspective.

On Friday I ate:
Breakfast: A Larabar
Lunch: Lettuce wraps with cucumber, carrots and sprouts with some Nama Shoyu sauce.
Supper: A green salad with some foraged greens, mache, cucumber, tomato, celery, avocado and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

On Saturday I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie of banana, apple, red grapes, and kale.
Lunch: Leftover salad, a piece of a flax seed flatbread, and a handful of cashews.
Supper: Nori rolls made with avocado, cauliflower, lime juice, sea salt, red bell peppers, carrots, and nori sheets.

Have continued to do my Body Flex.

A Swiss Cheese Day

2009-04-16T23:00:00.009-04:00

Today was one of those days that just wasn't going to flow smoothly no matter what I did! I started the day out by oversleeping and having to rush to get to an appointment. When I called to say that I was going to be late, they told me not to bother coming...all their computer systems were down. So I ran another errand thinking the first course of business would call me back and tell me to come. Well they did, but only when I was racing out the door to my next appointment. I agreed to stop in before they closed at 7 pm, but when I got there at 6:45 pm, they had already closed.

An afternoon at the Ohio Historical Society with a couple of cousins was equally frustrating: The locker I put my things in took my quarter and wouldn't lock, the restroom was out of toilet paper, the book I needed wasn't available, and a series of volunteer and employee errors put me into a tailspin trying to get a copy of my grandfather's death certificate. Finally when I sat down with the right roll of microfilm, the machine didn't work! After some jostling around by the staff, we got it to work, but for the oddest reason, the document I was chasing had been skipped. The records went from #64115 to #64117. The librarian finally took my request, went to another floor to locate the original document and copied it for me. What should have taken 15 minutes, took over 2 hours!

The confusion and frustration didn't end there! An evening that was supposed to be spent with out of town family members was also cancelled which upset a few other plans. My husband and I finally retreated to a favorite vegetarian restaurant and collapsed over a simple meal.

When I worked for a local hospital, we had a training on what they called the "Swiss Cheese Theory." A patient comes to the hospital with a complaint and goes into, say, the Emergency Room. While there, some mistake is made...some test not recorded, some background information not gathered, something small. After the patient is admitted to the hospital, another person makes another, different mistake...possibly based on the previous error. It is the idea that at every level the patient falls through some hole in the system and ultimately suffers a much more severe problem (possibly death!) than what he originally came to the hospital for. (This made a big impression on me because my aunt had died in that very hospital as a result of such a situation!)

I felt like I had fallen through every hole in a big hunk of cheese today! Fortunately for me, I know enough to not turn to food anymore to choke out the anger and frustration that a day like this can bring. I noticed I still had a smile on my face when I realized the restaurant restroom was out of TP! There was none in the bathroom at home either! Good thing I keep an extra stash!

Today I had:

Breakfast: A green smoothie with apple, grapes, banana, collards and dino kale.

Lunch: Salad with sprouts, shallots and tomato with lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt.

Supper: Mixed greens salad with a little vinegar and oil and a "Shooting Star Smoothie" with orange, carrot, lemon and ginger.

Snack: My own "trail mix"...almonds, cashews, raisins and goji berries.

Did not Body Flex today.

Raw Luck

2009-04-15T22:31:00.014-04:00

It's dandelion season once again! Only this year instead of spraying the life out of them, I'm eating them! While I don't have this as a first-hand experience, I am told that over in Europe, people eat dandelion greens all the time. They don't regard them as predacious aliens in a perfectly green, manicured lawn like we Americans do. They're food. Good food!

This evening, before the Raw Meetup, Shawna Stursa took a couple of us out to forage for wild greens. As luck would have it, I got a tour of a local neighborhood's weeds by two foraging experts. How nice to have such wonderful teachers right here in my home town! In addition to dandelions, we found plantains, clover, chickweed, cleavers, violets, mustard, lambsquarters and elm seeds. We discussed how to use these wild greens and the benefits of several other wild edibles. I really liked what Shawna said, we live in such abundance! Let's face it, with the economy the way it is, it doesn't get any better than walking out the back door and having fresh food at your feet.

While I am sure the homeowners association won't be happy that I will be foraging weeds from my yard this year, I am very happy to have a little bit of this knowledge to get me started on wild greens. The benefits are just too numerous to mention. If cleavers can heal laminitus in thoroughbreds' feet, what can it do for mine?!!!

Also, I live on the edge of a state park and there should be tons of wild greens that I can find for my salads this summer. This is a new avenue of learning that I will be pursuing eagerly. It not only provides a great source of nutrition and healing properties, it gets me out in nature. It's just a win/win situation all the way around.

The Raw Luck was fabulous just as it was last month. The energy, knowledge, love, support and enthusiasm in this group is just way beyond any other group of people I have ever been around. To see such a group of individuals glowing radiantly and being so happy is the best medicine anyone could have. It is such a healing space and I intend to become a fixture in this wonderful group of raw foodists.

The foods tonight were quite varied. There was a green energy soup made with malva (another wild green), zucchini hummus, butternut squash pie, kale chips, a guacamole/vegetable dish for stuffing in romaine leaves, a quinoa/sprout salad and other yummy dishes and desserts I can't even remember.

Allison did a demonstration on growing sprouts which introduced us to a variety of seeds that can be used. I had forgotten about some types and learned about a couple of new ones. She shared one of her favorite ways to grow sprouts by mixing three different kinds of seeds for a wonderful combination of flavors. I will be getting down to the community co-op to find some radish, adzuki, alfalfa, and broccoli seeds this week!

For today I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with a variety of nuts and seeds, goji berries, raisins, dates, coconut, an apple and a banana with almond milk.
Lunch: A couple of "deviled eggs"... cashews, olive oil, lemon juice, agave nectar, and spices in white mushrooms.
Supper: A smorgasbord of raw dishes at the raw luck.

Did my Body Flex first thing this morning.

Pictures from top: Dandelions, chickweed, a cluster of grass, murdock and cleavers, quinoa/sprout salad, and zucchini hummus with crudites and almonds.

The Search for Comfort

2009-04-14T23:51:00.006-04:00

It has been a cold, rainy day here today and I have been looking for ways to stay warm all day. The smell of ham leftovers in the house remind me of how I used to make bean soup after Easter. On a day like today, that would have been a welcome comfort food. But I don't eat like that any more and any thoughts of eating meat are very repulsive to me now.

I have been at a loss when desiring food for warmth or comfort and it makes me realize just how much I used food to insulate myself from everything. I think I was a classic compulsive overeater and I still see the telltale signs. I am just using raw foods now, which is still healthier, but hasn't dealt with the real issues. Perhaps in time some of the drive to eat for comfort will diminish, but right now I am just grateful I don't have cravings for a lot of the junk I used to eat. I will find other ways to deal with being cold or having memories that I used to stuff down.

On Monday I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with banana, orange, spinach and collards.
Lunch: Crudites with leftover Springtime Herb Dip.
Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with romaine lettuce, celery, grapefruit, orange, avocado, and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

On Tuesday I ate:
Breakfast: A couple of lettuce wraps with romaine lettuce, cucumber, carrots and sprouts.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad again.
Supper: Corn chowder with corn, green onion, chives, cashews, sea salt, red bell pepper and shallots.

Did my Body Flex both days.

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T23:23:00.003-04:00

Today marked another milestone in my raw journey: a major holiday. I stayed 100% raw with no effort at all......despite the carnivores in the house!

Many thanks to Heidi and JS Ohlander of Raw Food Right Now, who put out their Raw Easter Cookbook just in time for me to put together a lovely Easter feast for myself. The Deviled Eggs and Springtime Herb Dip were a big hit with the whole family. I also made the Shaved Carrot and Beet Salad. Those three dishes were enough for me and they helped supplement the menu for the rest of the family. Having something special for myself really helped me feel like it was Easter and there was something I could look forward to. I did not feel deprived at all and the chocolate bunnies didn't interest me in the slightest! Well done, Heidi!

I did not have time to make the Carrot Cake with Coconut Cream Frosting, but I am looking forward to a little bit of heaven when I try that recipe! I have not focused on too many desserts since I have become raw. I guess it is still a throwback to never getting to eat desserts on any other diet I have ever tried.

My Easter Day looked like this:
Breakfast: A couple of the deviled eggs!
Lunch: Deviled eggs made with mushrooms, cashews, vinegar, dry mustard and seasonings; Springtime Herb Dip with crudites; Shaved Carrot and Beet Salad; and a glass of "wine" made by throwing some grapes into the VitaMix with some ice cubes and water.
Supper: More of the deviled eggs and crudites with the herb dip.

Did my Body Flex first thing this morning.

Shifts & Changes

2009-04-11T23:42:00.004-04:00

The longer I am raw, the more shifts and changes I experience in almost every aspect of my life. It seems that my emotions, my thoughts, and my dreams are much more intense too. I am certainly much happier and relaxed now than I have ever been. Even my husband has noticed and told me it makes him happy to see me so happy. He has commented that maybe he will try more of this "eating raw thing" so he can get a little of the peace I seem to be experiencing.

I am not at a point where I am willing to say that eating 100% raw foods is life changing, but I will say that there seems to be a lot of changes going on and not just with my physical body. I have had some very powerful dreams, visions and feelings that seem to suggest that I am being called to something new in my life. There is a spiritual element that is guiding these changes and I have decided that whatever comes I will accept. It is like every molecule in my body is changing and as a result, who I am also is changing. It also seems that I can connect with my own spirit and Higher Self more easily and things just flow smoothly as a result.

Sometimes it seems that my Higher Self is screaming at me to just listen. With everything else that goes on in my life, I don't always pay attention when I am being spoken to. So on Friday I decided to fast. It was Good Friday and it just seemed an appropriate time to fast, reflect and meditate. I can't say anything was revealed to me, but it was a good fast and I think I will try to incorporate another day or two of fasting into my week ahead. I could stand more time just listening instead of jumping to the next thing to do.

There also seems to be a new kind of synchronicity to the events and people in my life now. People and things just seem to show up just as I need them. It sort of proves my decades old mantra that "everything I need comes to me." It just happens more quickly now and I see that I don't need to worry or stress about things like I used to do.

Yes, there is a lot more peace in my life as a result of eating raw and I see that I can really thrive like this. It would be hard to turn back to eating SAD after this. I believe that eating raw is going to be my lifestyle for the rest of my life.

On Friday:

Fasted until 7:30 pm.

Supper: Green salad with romaine lettuce, avocado, green bell peppers, celery, cucumber and Italian dressing with apple cider vinegar, olive oil and various herbs and spices.

On Saturday:

Breakfast: Power balls.

Lunch: a handful of almonds and some carrots, celery and green pepper strips.

Supper: Just a few marinated mushrooms and a couple of olives. Not really hungry.

Emotional Detox

2009-04-09T23:46:00.005-04:00

One thing that can not be overlooked when discussing detox symptoms is our emotions. For people like me who have "stuffed our feelings" for most of our lives, there can be some very unexpected consequences to eating raw. As our bodies get cleaner, feelings that have been trapped as a result of emotional eating, start to emerge. And, they typically don't ask if this is a convenient time!

I have noticed as time goes on that more and more old feelings over a variety of hurts have been surfacing. Just about every time this happens I can identify a point in the past where rather than feeling some painful event, I suppressed my feelings with food. As I deal with the painful feelings, I find that it is much easier to experience them now than when the event actually occurred. But, I don't seem to be able to control when these feelings pop up or how long the emotional release might take. Several times there has been an almost overwhelming urge to go eat something to put an end to the painful feelings once more. Fortunately I have been able to recognize when this happens and been able to allow the feelings to just come out. But there has been an occasion where I decided that enough was enough and just ate my next meal or a snack to tone down the pain I was feeling.

Today was a good example of this. Possibly because Easter is this weekend, I started thinking about how much I missed my mom. We used to plan and start shopping for our Easter dinner right about now. We had many happy times around this holiday and today it was clear to me that I am not through grieving for her. I found myself in the grocery store, stopped in the middle of an open area, just thinking about her and starting to cry. I quickly checked my feelings until after I was back in my car, but then the tears really started to roll. I drove home and thought about what to do for myself. The feelings came and went throughout the day and I finally just surrendered to them. This afternoon I decided to go visit her grave and gave myself permission to just feel how much I missed her. After a while, I left there, and being tired of feeling so crummy, I went to a restaurant and ate a salad. It was enough to push the emotions back down for a while. I will let them out again another time. But it felt good to let myself just feel my feelings instead of resisting them. This is certainly a much healthier approach than just eating to make all the pain go away.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with pineapple, banana, collards and kale.
Lunch: Lettuce wraps with cucumber, carrot, avocado, and romaine lettuce.
Supper: Green salad with pecans, tomatoes, variety of lettuces, avocado, lemon juice and olive oil.
Snack: A few power balls.

Did not Body Flex today. Need to get that routine running again.

Company & Cravings

2009-04-08T23:37:00.003-04:00

I have had company for the past few days and things really got hectic. In trying to feed my guests, I was forced to be around more food than I typically would be. I had to shop for things I normally wouldn't buy, prepare food I no longer eat, and ate out twice at local restaurants. To challenge me further, the weather turned very cold again and I wanted warm food. The emotions of dealing with family members also brought out strong urges for comfort food. It seemed that every couple of hours I wanted to run and hide...from the food, the smells, the emotions, the stress, and most of all the cravings!

Monday night was the worst when everyone wanted to go to an Indian restaurant. I asked right up front if they could serve me a dish of raw vegetables. They produced a dish of mixed vegetables and asked if that was what I wanted. Yes, I told them, that is exactly what I wanted. But when they served the food, they gave me a bowl of steamed vegetables, which I promptly sent back. Then they came back with a bowl of "lightly blanched" vegetables. It was at that point that I realized that the waiter didn't speak enough English to understand the word "raw." I didn't want to make a scene or ruin everyone else's good experience, so I shut up and ate the vegetables. I also scraped the raw garnish off everyone's plate and ate that too.

I have decided that from now on, I will take my own food along to restaurants and not expect that they will have anything I want to eat. The only reason I would go to a restaurant any more is if I were going with other people, so I don't think anyone will be upset with my bringing my own food as long as I am discreet about it.

But the past few days have really set off cravings that made me question what I am doing. I was ready to throw in the towel several times and just go binge on some of my old favorites. But, I just kept eating more raw foods. I have no idea how many calories I have consumed over the past several days, but it is far more than I typically would have had. The cooked vegetables seemed to really trigger a desire for cooked foods and it has taken 48 hours to quell those cravings. I do not want to go through that again ever!

I didn't keep track of everything I ate over the last several days, but for today I had:
Breakfast: Ruby Red Ambrosia...juice of carrots, celery, lemon, apple, ginger root and a beet.
Lunch: A nori roll with avocado, lime juice, sea salt, spinach, carrots, and yellow pepper.
Supper: Salad with spinach, celery, yellow pepper, and an orange, with a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.
Snack: Some power ball goo.

Body Flexed for the first time in 3 days today.

A New Challenge

2009-04-04T22:28:00.000-04:00

Spring is in full bloom here in Ohio and it has brought my usual fits of coughing, sneezing, and nose blowing. I have been feeling so much better eating raw, that I had completely forgotten about the annual nuisance of seasonal allergies. In past years I stuck it out with with over-the-counter medications until I finally made a trip to the doctor for prescription drugs. Usually by that time I had a sinus infection to go with it. It would be a round of antibiotics, possibly a decongestant, and a daily infusion of some antihistamine until the next frost in October or so.

I also seem to be caught up in the most recent wave of detoxification right now, so I really don't know if this is serious with the allergies or not. Nonetheless, I am going to refrain from taking any drugs and just see where things go. I am hoping my body will recover on its own and that I no longer have to rely on drugs to get me through the warmer months.

A big part of the process of getting through all the many and varied symptoms that detox brings, is being able to relax and just let my body be the way it is. I make a conscious decision to stop resisting whatever is going on and accept that this is the way it is right now. Inevitably this process seems to lessen the symptoms and allows me to continue to function. I just keep telling myself that like the weather, it will change again in a day or two, and it does. As this process continues, I see that on the days that I feel good, I feel really good. I see this as evidence that my overall health is improving.

On Friday I had:

Breakfast: Juice of parsley, carrot, celery, and spinach.

Lunch: A small salad with lemon juice, olive oil and herbs, and the leftover zucchini spaghetti.

Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with Romain lettuce, pink grapefruit, an orange, and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar, and olive oil.

Snack: Some power ball goo.

On Saturday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange and Swiss chard.

Lunch: Raw vegetables (celery, carrots, cucumbers, bell peppers) with guacamole.

Supper: Mixed chopped vegetables (tomato, corn, shallots, yellow bell pepper, celery, carrots) with lemon juice and olive oil.

Snack: A couple of power balls.

Body Flexed on Saturday only.

H.R. 875

2009-04-02T20:24:00.012-04:00

It was bound to happen....two of my favorite topics have crossed paths and I have to open my mouth. Most people who know me, don't realize how political I can be because I tend to keep my mouth shut and just listen when others speak. But I am getting older now and don't have the patience for nonsense like I used to, so I am raising my voice and letting people know where I stand. I feel especially compelled to speak up when I hear outright lies, rumors and innuendos. I have no tolerance for political discussion that isn't based on facts. And if you don't check out that flame mail on Snopes before you send it to me, well....you are going to hear about it!

So last night I found myself at the topical intersection of raw, organic foods and House Bill 875. It seems that HR 875 - The Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009 is getting a thrashing by the online politicos and it isn't even out of committee yet. At the Raw Meetup sharing circle last night the subject came up and everyone was certain that we needed to call our congressmen right away as this bill needed to be stopped. (I volunteered to get our representatives names and phone numbers organized!) The common thought was that this bill was going to outlaw organic farming...that organic farmers were going to be forced to meet a new standard of having to spray their fields with chemical pesticides and herbicides. Heirloom seeds were going to disappear in favor of GMO seeds, and that one couldn't even have a backyard garden without this bill interfering with one's lovely tomatoes. The small, organic farmers would be put out of business and we would all be forced to eat chemically infused produce. Roadside stands put up by gardeners who still planted a whole row of zucchinis would disappear and farmers' markets would be a thing of the past.

If you have received the e-mail from someone who has urged you to send it on to everyone in your distribution list, hold your horses. I have read the bill and visited the web site of the primary sponsor, Rosa L. DeLauro (D-CT). I am convinced that Ms. DeLauro has our best interests at heart and that the ones who are really going to suffer with the passage of this bill are the large food processors and corporate farmers who are finally going to be held accountable for just how much toxic waste they can spray on our food and get away with it.

But, really, take an afternoon and read the bill for yourself. Educate yourself. Form your own opinion. Personally I think it is high time someone did something....the FDA hasn't done anything in years. They are too busy investigating all the medical and pharmacological stuff to pay any attention to spinach, peanut butter or Chinese additives to pet food. Someone needs to be paying attention. So just read it! The Liberty Farmers Market will thank you for it.

P.S. For a complete discussion of this bill, allow me to refer you to The Ethicurean: Chew the right thing.

Today I had:

Breakfast: A quart of beautiful Ruby Red Ambrosia...the juice of carrots, celery, apple, lemon, ginger root, and beet.

Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad...pink grapefruit, an orange, and avocado on romaine lettuce with a Dijon mustard, agave nectar, lemon juice and olive oil dressing.

Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with a tomato sauce and topped off with chopped celery, mushrooms, shallots and some black olives.

Body Flexed today.

Photo courtesy of Kimy of Cleveland. http://mousemedicine.blogspot.com/

A Sharing Circle

2009-04-01T23:51:00.004-04:00

Tonight I went to the sharing circle with the Columbus Raw Meetup group. A dear, dear friend from 15 years ago had joined the group online, but had not gone to any of the meetings. I was able to connect with her again and encouraged her to come tonight. She did and it was wonderful seeing her. We laughed and giggled like high school girls and left the meeting arm in arm to continue our conversation at a vegetarian restaurant. It was wonderful to renew our friendship and especially over a shared interest in health and wellness.

The meeting itself was extraordinary. Everyone got a chance to introduce themselves and say whatever they liked. I was humbled by the honesty, authenticity, and humility among my fellow raw travelers. People I have never met before opened their hearts and shared with the group about what it was like being raw. Everyone was so supportive of everyone else. It is so nice to know there are real live people out there who share my vision.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Skipped...had to go to an early morning eye appointment. (Eyes are still improving!)
Lunch: Salad with spinach and Spring mix, carrots, celery, tomatoes, mushrooms with balsamic vinegar and oil.
Supper: Corn chowder and small salad with lemon, olive oil and sea salt.
Snack: 3 power balls and a juice of carrot, spinach, celery, and apple.

I did not do my Body Flex today and really missed it.

Day 60!!!

2009-03-31T23:45:00.003-04:00

It is no small miracle that I have arrived at 60 days of eating 100% raw vegan. Anyone who has tried to go raw will tell you it isn't easy, but for me this has been a state of grace that I never want to end. Like an alcoholic or drug addict, it has been one day at a time. Sometimes it has been one meal at a time, but this miracle has never been taken for granted for one minute.

The changes have been profound and sublime. I have let go of 16 lbs., which is about 2 lbs. a week. I am off all prescription drugs and have used over-the-counter remedies only 3 times in 60 days. My energy continues to increase, the pain in my body continues to decrease. I have started exercising for the first time in years and can see my clothes becoming baggier by the day. I have had spiritual insights and visions that I can't begin to describe.

In the background there have been friends and family members cheering me on. I am so grateful to all of them for the space, time, consideration and generosity they have granted me as I have pursued this journey. There are well-known leaders in the raw food movement that continue to teach and help guide me....people like Angela Stokes, Matt Monarch, Kevin Gianni, Nomi Shannon and others like Tommie. There are the local people who participate in the Columbus Raw Meetup group that inspire me. Then there is my little group that communicates on a daily basis...S., L., and A....from the bottom of my heart, thank you! We are all on this road together and together we will succeed.

Today I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, banana, orange, pineapple and spinach.

Lunch: Leftover Mediterranean salad.

Supper: Big garden salad, of arugula, spinach and leaf lettuce, tomato, celery, carrot, mushroom, onion with a dressing of Dijon mustard, agave nectar, lemon juice and olive oil.

Body Flexed today too.

Comparative Health

2009-03-30T23:35:00.006-04:00

Well, for the minor aches, pains and lack of energy that I have suffered this past week or so, it doesn't begin to rival the illness the rest of my family is experiencing. They all have some form of the flu that is wearing them down to a halt. I spent a portion of my day today sitting in an urgent care while my daughter got her diagnosis and prescriptions. She is by far and away the sickest person in the house right now and the only one who got a flu shot this year. My husband took a sick day as well and while he still isn't back to 100%, says he's going back to work tomorrow.

I am trying very hard not to be too smug about the fact that I have not been really sick at all this winter. With the exception of the detox I went through right after the Fred Payne events, I have not had any of my usual winter ailments. This is the first winter in decades that I did not go to the doctor for a sinus infection! There was a time that I could count on bronchitis and/or pneumonia along with strep throat, colds, and ongoing congestion every year. I used to say that I knew how I was going to die....it would be from pneumonia.

I like to think that my eating 100% raw has had a big impact on those trends. My only trip to the doctor in the past several months has been to decrease and finally eliminate all my medications! That alone makes staying raw worthwhile, but the benefits just continue to mount.

Today's intake was:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, pineapple, orange, banana, ginger and spinach.
Lunch: A bowl of raw sauerkraut with the rest of the smoothie.
Supper: A big Mediterranean salad with arugula, fennel, red bell peppers, shallots, capers, olives, tomatoes, avocado, and lemon juice, sea salt and olive oil for the dressing.

Body Flexed first thing this morning.

Photo courtesy of Kimy of Cleveland, OH. http://mousemedicine.blogspot.com/

A Quiet Weekend

2009-03-29T23:05:00.003-04:00

On Saturday I dragged my husband around town with me to run errands and do the grocery shopping. He really wasn't feeling well, but wanted to get out of the house and spend some time with me. I love it when we can grocery shop together...it just goes so much easier. He loves Whole Foods as much as I do, so he doesn't mind watching me pile stacks of greens into the cart. My daughter has found a social life and isn't cooking for him as much these days, so he has been eating more of what I offer him...which, of course, is lots of fruits and vegetables. He is even talking about going raw for a while to try it out! I won't hold my breath on that one, but it can only improve his health to whatever degree he embraces it.

On Saturday I ate:
Breakfast: A smoothie of banana, orange and peaches.
Lunch: Some raw sauerkraut and various raw vegetables.
Supper: Guacamole and celery.

Sunday was a day to stay home and relax. The weather went from rain to sleet to a few snow showers, with winds topping 40 mph. Not a good day for travel. We had planned a trip to Louisville, KY but my husband was really sick so we stayed home. I woke up with a lingering pain in my left hip, but it finally subsided. I am still at the mercy of the weather when it comes to my joints.

On Sunday I had:
Breakfast: 3 Mineolas...a cross between a tangerine and grapefruit.
Lunch: Corn chowder
Supper: Nori rolls with avocado, cauliflower, red bell pepper, carrots and cucumber.
Snack: Some power ball goo.

I Body Flexed on Saturday but passed on Sunday due to the achy joint problem.

An 8 Week Progress Report

2009-03-27T23:43:00.008-04:00

I am rapidly approaching the 60 day mark with eating 100% raw. Not sure why that number feels so significant, but it is twice the 30 day mark. That is twice the number of days it takes to form a habit. Every 30 days I am a raw vegan increases the likelihood that I will stick with it.

My progress these past 4 weeks has been a little disappointing. I only let go of another 4 lbs. and a total of 4 1/2". This brings my total weight loss to 15 lbs. in 8 weeks of being 100% raw. If I count the weight I lost while I was trying to go raw, the number is 24 lbs. lost. My clothes are much looser on me now and I am feeling better as time goes by. I am pleased with any progress and especially pleased that my upper body strength is significantly stronger from the Body Flex program. My energy has been improving, even if it is at an erratic pace. I am also happy to report that a chronic lower back pain has all but completely disappeared.

As I go through my mental checklist of the positive benefits of eating raw, I am very pleased that I have come this far and will continue my happy raw vegan ways.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, banana, orange, spinach and parsley.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: We ate out at a French restaurant that accommodated me with 2 double side salads of very fresh greens, red and green bell peppers, tomatoes and red onion. The dressing was a mixture of lemon juice, mustard, honey, olive oil and seasonings.
Snack: A little bit of power ball goo.

Body Flexed as usual.

Odd Day

2009-03-26T23:36:00.003-04:00

It has been an odd day today. I started out all gun-ho and as the day wore on, my energy seemed to just slip away. There has been a change in the weather and I have noticed a slight change in how I feel. It certainly has not been the radical change I used to experience, but the barometric pressure still seems to effect my joints a little.

My cousin Sharon, seemed to be having a relatively good day today. In fact, she was downright giddy when I spoke to her. Her husband had taken the afternoon off to take her to one of her many doctors. They had left the doctor's office and were on their way to a Starbucks to have a chat over coffee. She seemed so happy to have his company. I told her I was going to do some "concentrated prayer" for her. She thought that was a fine idea. She has been living in the Bible belt too long for me to try to explain to her what I would be doing, so I left it at that.

Today I had:
Breakfast: A fruit salad of apple, banana, oranges and a handful of almonds.
Lunch: Corn chowder made with frozen corn, some cashews, a green onion, red bell pepper, a few slices of leeks, water and nutritional yeast.
Supper: Green salad of romaine lettuce, celery, red bell pepper, tomato, olives and lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt for a dressing.
Snack: A few power balls.

Still doing the Body Flex.

Sharon

2009-03-26T11:17:00.002-04:00

My cousin, Sharon, called me today. She has Parkinson's disease and lives in another state. She is pretty isolated right now from her kids and grandkids, her siblings and the rest of the family. She was in one city for a long time after her husband took a job in another city. Since they weren't able to sell their house, she stayed behind alone. Now that it has dragged out to about a year and a half with the house still on the market, she has moved into an apartment with her husband and pets in their new city. It is better, but she is terribly lonely and calls her old friends and family frequently for moral support.

I have been totally shocked how this very intelligent, once very active, involved woman has managed to resist every bit of help that has been offered to her in terms of managing her disease. She still believes that one of her two neurological doctors will find the right combination of drugs that will make everything right again. She is wallowing in self pity and is crying for attention. Just talking with her is very frustrating as there are always distractions and interruptions in the conversation....the dog barking, another phone call, etc. She doesn't really listen to you when you do talk to her. It has taken me a long time to get to a point of saying that I need to give up on her or confront her in a big intervention kind of way. I feel sorry for her, but my pity isn't going to help her.

In confronting this situation, I realize how many people there are just like her. They are sick and could be doing something/a lot of things to help themselves, but don't. It is like they are children crying out for attention. "Look at me, I am sick. I can't do that. I'm helpless. Feel sorry for me. Give me love. Give me attention." What do you do to help people like that? When straight talk doesn't make a difference, what do you say? Keep this up and you'll die?!!! Just what is our responsibility when being our brother's keeper means your efforts are rebuffed?

I am going to make my first attempt at some remote spiritual healing ala Fred Payne. Divine intervention may be the only way to save Sharon's life. Short of telling her to go eat an apple and call me in the morning, this seems like the only thing I can do.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with blueberries, banana, apple, pear and kale.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: Nori rolls with red bell pepper, zucchini, carrot, sprouts, cauliflower, avocado, and lemon juice.
Snack: Some power ball goo.

Did my Body Flex today.

A New Day

2009-03-24T22:54:00.003-04:00

I woke up this morning clear headed and completely pain free. I notice that my mornings are getting better and better. I used to take forever to wake up, drag my body out of bed, and would frequently take some kind of Advil, Tylenol, or aspirin first thing. Then, if I didn't have to go anywhere, would sit down and kick back in a recliner until the drugs relieved enough pain that I could get up and get moving. But when the drugs wore off, I had to stop what I was doing and take more. I would do this repeatedly and by the middle of the afternoon, I was pretty much done for the day. I would take a nap around 3 pm and then just sit and watch the news, or whatever the least objectionable thing on TV was, until around 7 pm when I would go find something to eat. By that time I would have a lot of back pain and it would be hard to stand or even walk for longer than 10 minutes.

Going back 8 years, when I was working a very stressful full time job, the story was worse:
I would force myself out of bed, ease my aching body down the steps to the kitchen, pour myself a BIG cup of coffee (with about a half a cup of that artificially sweetened and flavored creamer), pull myself back up the steps and drink my coffee in the shower just to wake up enough to get myself out the door. Then, after I got downtown, I would stop at a Caribou Coffee and pick up a LARGE Caramel High Rise (430 Calories, 170 Fat calories, 19 g Total fat, 75 mg Cholesterol, 49 g Sugar, 200 mg Sodium, 270 mg Caffeine.) I would then go into my office, shut the door, drink my coffee and try to pull myself together enough to get something done. About 10 am I would go get ANOTHER large espresso latte (another 180 mg of caffeine!)....I would try to eliminate the sugar and fat of the whipped cream the second time around, just 2% milk this time, thank you! I would eat a salad for lunch with a hunk of whole grain bread...to eat healthy, of course. Then around 3 or 4pm I had to have another big coffee. I would work until 8 or 9 pm, and then being too tired to cook, would eat out at a restaurant. I would always have to have a couple glasses of wine or 2-3 big margaritas to settle down from all that coffee and the stress of the job. And since I had only had a salad for lunch and no breakfast, I would be really hungry and eat way too much. Then I would go home, take a melatonin to get to sleep along with a fistful of drugs to kill all the pain in my body. I would thrash around in bed until 2 am eating a half a dozen Rolaids to calm my stomach down before I could even get to sleep.

Yes, there is a lot to heal in this body. I have come a long way and it is good to remember where I was. I am very grateful for the life I have now.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, pear, banana, collards, and parsley.
Lunch: A little leftover zucchini spaghetti with a "cheesey" sauce (macadamia nuts, pine nuts, cashews, lemon juice, garlic, water and nutritional yeast.) I had made it last night for my supper but my husband ate it instead.)
Snack: 2 power balls
Supper: Big green vegetable salad with a lemon juice, agave nectar, Dijon mustard, and olive oil dressing.

Body Flexed again today.

Wolves, Bears & Seals

2009-03-23T23:12:00.007-04:00

My energy was good today but not the perfect "10" yesterday was. I am not sure what makes the difference but I will look forward to a time when I jump out of bed every morning and go until bedtime without having to stop and rest for a while. It just occurred to me that most 58 year olds probably don't have that expectation. Maybe really fit ones do, but most of the ones I know don't believe they can grow younger.

I received 2 messages in my inbox today that made me very angry and upset. The first one was from the Defenders of Wildlife. It pushed my blood pressure up a few numbers with the discussion of how Sarah Palin continues the fight for aerial hunting of Alaska's wolves and bears. Personally I would like to see someone aerial hunt Sarah Palin for sport. Oh. Did that remark come out of my mouth?!!! (Sorry, S. I know you voted for her.) That woman is singlehandedly ruining the last American stronghold of wildlife.

The second message was from the Humane Society of the United States regarding Canada's insane, inhumane practice of clubbing baby harp seals to death for their fur. Even with the outcry from other nations, businesses boycotting the Canadian seafood industry, and millions of citizens and organizations from around the world, all joining together as this horror takes place every spring, Canadian officials increased the allowable quota by 5,000 seals that the fisherman are allowed to kill.

An Indian yogi I once studied with expressed his sadness for all the dead raccoons and groundhogs he observed on the sides of the roads in our country and asked, " Do you not think these animals value thier lives as much as you do yours?"

It saddens me that we have such little regard for the rest of the life on our planet. I'm glad I'm a vegan.

Breakfast: 2 power balls.
Lunch: The other half of last night's vegetable salad.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with alfredo sauce was quickly abandoned to my husband. I opted instead for a green smoothie with mango, banana, orange, and collards.

Did my Body Flex today.

Back to Normal

2009-03-22T22:55:00.003-04:00

Thank goodness I am back to normal today! I have a very low tolerance for pain and am a very impatient patient. I woke up this morning feeling rested and well and got right to the Body Flex that I had missed for the past week. That always seems to give me an additional boost of energy and today I sailed through the day like nothing had ever happened. I was rather surprised by how good I felt and just how much energy I had.

My husband had to work this weekend....no one will ever accuse him of working banker's hours! My daughter was busy with her life, so it left me home alone to do as I wished. I was rather pleased with myself that I got some nagging chores done. It seems I can never get anything done on the weekends because my husband and daughter are home and are too much of a distraction. But today gave me a jump start on my week and hopefully I won't suffer any more detox attacks.

I was really hungry today. It seemed that no matter what I ate, I wanted more of something else. I had some serious cravings for cooked food today which I again fought off with more raw foods. Here's what I had:

Breakfast: 3 power balls.
Lunch: Nori rolls: an avocado and cauliflower for "rice" and strips of red pepper, cucumber, and carrots all rolled up with some alfalfa sprouts in nori sheets.
Supper: A big green salad with various vegetables chopped up and thrown in along with a couple of red tomatoes. Dressing was my usual lemon juice with sea salt and olive oil.
Snack: A LaraBar-Cashew Cookie

On the Mend

2009-03-21T23:15:00.001-04:00

I was feeling better today. At least I kept all my food down and didn't experience anything more than a lot of rumbles in my tummy. I still don't feel great, but it is a vast improvement over yesterday...which has proven to my family that I didn't have the flu or food poisoning!

But having not eaten much of anything yesterday really had me craving all kinds of things today. I watched my daugher eat eggs and toast for breakfast and when my husband mentioned pizza this evening, I could have happily thrown away 50 days for just the smell of it! I did restrain myself and stuck to my plan. I figure that if I am going to give up being raw, I want it to be a conscious decision not just a whim.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with pepitas, sunflower and chia seeds, almonds and walnuts, goji berries, dates, an apple and a banana.
Lunch: Skipped
Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with mixed greens, half of a pink grapefruit, an orange, a Mandarin orange, avocado, sprouts, leeks and a dressing of dijon mustard, lemon juice, agave nectar, and olive oil.

I haven't Body Flexed but 2 days in the past week. Maybe tomorrow I can get back on track with that.

Day 49 - Seven weeks

2009-03-20T22:12:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was a difficult day. I had to take my daughter to the hospital for tests. She is having serious digestive problems. I know a raw food diet would help her but she doesn't listen to me. She is a believer in the medical sciences, and thinks she will find her answers there. Sometimes a mother has to let the child learn on her own. It isn't easy watching someone you love make so many mistakes.

I managed my food pretty well during the day.
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange and spinach.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Snack: 3 power balls.
Supper: My second attempt at a raw pizza. A raw cheese sauce, a raw tomato sauce spread onto 2 portobella mushroom caps with shallots, yellow and orange peppers and a few olives. Lets face it. It is NOT anything close to pizza and I need to try making a crust with a dehydrator.

Today was Day 49....seven weeks. And it has been a really rocky day. I slept 14 hours last night and woke up feeling pretty badly. Later I had severe diarrhea and was vomiting. My initial take is that this is a real detox reaction. My family wanted me to go to the hospital or urgent care, but I knew they would just give me drugs, and then it's more to detox. I am trying to stay hydrated but it is difficult when it just runs straight through you.

My intake for the day:
A handful of cashews and the juice of 2 oranges this evening.
All the water I can keep down.

Hope tomorrow is a better day.

Raw Meetup

2009-03-18T23:04:00.002-04:00

After the massive healing that Fred Payne did last night, I thrashed around in bed all night long. Various aches and pains came and went, my stomach started to gurgle and churn, and I had several entertaining dreams. I was ready to spend half the day in bed today, but when morning finally arrived, I felt fine! Fred had recommended a few things to help my body with its detox, so I went out on a mission to gather the necessary supplies. I ran a few other errands along the way and arrived back home in the early afternoon.

I tried to get a few things done around the house, but the phone kept ringing and before I knew it, time slipped away from me. One person from the Fred Payne series called to reconnect and I was really happy to hear from her. We will probably be planning a time to get as many of us as we can back together again.

I had taken some of my power balls to the meeting last night and they were a big hit. Dr. Rosana Domingues, a local homeopath, was thrilled to hear that I was eating raw and wanted to know more about what I was doing. I invited her to join me at the Columbus Raw Meetup group tonight. I got there a little late because I yakked on the phone too long, but Rosana was already there and had found someone she knew. It was my first time, so I didn't know anyone but her. My husband arrived a little later from work, but by that time I was feeling pretty comfortable among the group of 18 or so folks that showed up.

I was pretty impressed by the people who came to this group....one young woman had lost 100 lbs. in a year by eating raw! Her mother was so impressed by her daughter's success, that she too, had gone raw. Another woman, Jane, introduced us to Mona Vie, a "super drink." Will showed us a sensible way to open a young coconut...no machetes involved! Lisa gave me her card for her colon hydrotherapy. Stephanie is leaving on a two week vacation at the Creative Health Institute in Union City, MI. Allison was a gracious hostess to everyone and welcomed me into the group. Shawna Stursa, the main organizer, is arranging an expedition soon to teach us how to forage for wild greens! She is an extraordinary woman who has studied with Dr. Gabriel Cousens and is working on her Master's in Spiritual Vegan Livefood Nutrition Education. There were several other talented people there that I didn't get to talk to this time, but all in all, I felt like I had found my people. It appeared to be salad night tonight but everything looked so colorful and fresh. One person made a really tasty raw baklava. Can't wait to get that recipe!

No question about it. This group has a lot going on and I intend to go back. What a joy to find such inspiration right here in my own back yard!

Today's edibles:
Breakfast: A mango, banana, Mandarin orange smoothie.
Lunch: A small salad of arugula, sprouts, mushrooms, olives, red peppers, garlic, lemon juice, sea salt and olive oil.
Supper: A variety of green salads, a carrot salad, and the baklava.
Snack: A few power balls.

I also drank 3 quarts of water with a whole lemon blended into it (to assist the liver.) I completely forgot to do my Body Flex today. I'll get back on track with that tomorrow.

Payne & Love

2009-03-17T23:59:00.001-04:00

Last fall a local clairvoyant told me to get some spiritual healing. Given the grief-stricken state I was in at the time, anything would have helped. But I was fortunate enough to be introduced to Fred Payne and Aniel Love, both spiritual healers of the highest class. In the past 3 weeks I have had the extraordinary privilege of working with both of them (primarily Fred) on 7 different days. The experience is so profound that it is difficult to describe what has happened. Fred works with the body-mind-spirit complex to facilitate a healing process in all aspects of a person's life. Mind you, this is no airy-fairy process either!

For someone like myself who has so much to heal...physically, emotionally, and spiritually, this was, as one person put it, "like a spiritual enema!" I have said goodbye to Aniel and Fred for a while, but I am looking forward to working with them both again in a few months. I expect to be a transformed person by the next time I see them. My body is now letting go of all kinds of residual toxins. My weight has dropped and I feel like a 5-ton weight has been lifted from my soul. I feel emotionally free of a lot that has bothered me for a long time and some deep spiritual rifts have been mended. I will be eternally grateful to these 2 special people for the work they are doing in the world.

For now their work with me is done, and mine is just beginning. Between the raw vegan diet and Fred's clearings and empowerments, a real purge is taking place in my body. I am so glad I have my raw practices in place. I think it is the best thing I could be doing during this time of healing. Every cell, molecule and atom in my body is being transformed now.

Since I have gone raw, I am amazed at the changes in my life. New people, new opportunities, new habits, new routines.....everything is changing very quickly. I feel like I am shedding an old, dirty, worn-out costume. I am stepping out onto the stage of life a new actor...ready for the next act of the play.

Today's meals were really crazy!
Breakfast: Just a quart of water with lemon...my usual.
Lunch: A bowl of raw sauerkraut and a few olives! What on earth was I craving?!!!
Supper: A quart of juice made of a beet, 2 apples, a lemon, 4 carrots, 5 stalks of celery and a cucumber.
Snack: A couple of power balls.

Recovery

2009-03-16T23:01:00.004-04:00

I am definitely feeling the aftereffects of the weekend. Fred has warned us that we might have physical symptoms from the work he does. No question about it...this is a detox! I am feeling tired, nauseous, headachy, emotional,....I think I have run the gamut of indicators today. Aniel Love likens it to recovering from surgery. That is a good description of how it has felt today.

I need to be up early and ready to go tomorrow morning, so I will keep this short tonight.

Here's what I ate:
Breakfast: The rest of yesterday's green smoothie.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with red leaf lettuce, pink grapefruit, an orange, a Mandarin orange, avocado and a dressing of lemon juice, agave nectar, sea salt and olive oil.
Snack: The rest of last night's salad.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with a tomato sauce.

A Healing Weekend

2009-03-15T23:59:00.002-04:00

Fred Payne's Level 1 Healing and Training Workshop blew my socks off! It was designed to introduce students to "a new paradigm of reality and awareness and foster a major enhancement of your personal empowerment over your life, health, spiritual contact and consciousness." No question about it...Fred got 'er done!

I am at a loss for words to describe everything I got out of the past two days with Fred, but I can speak to at least one thing that really makes a difference. I became personally acquainted with my Higher Self. I have heard of a higher self before, but really didn't have any knowledge or experience of this concept. With Fred guiding us through several processes asking us to connect with our higher selves, I began to see that there really was such a thing and that this personal guardian angel has my best interests at heart. Early Sunday morning I did a meditation and sought out my Higher Self. The experience I had left no doubt in my mind that I have never been alone, I have always had this being with me and she has been guiding my footsteps for a long time. I feel like I have a new best friend! And the feeling seems to be mutual. I got a very strong sense that my Higher Self was just as pleased to know that I had found her as I was! It was total love, acceptance and forgiveness. This alone adds a whole new dimension to my meditations.

To be certain, I will be back for more work with this "good 'ole boy from Kentucky!" Fred really is a very charming Southern gentleman who uses a lot of fun and humor in his teachings. His knowledge and wisdom in the spiritual/healing arts was practically demonstrated over and over during the weekend. He shows the utmost respect and humility for his students which forges an immediate bond of trust and his integrity appears to be 100%. I am looking forward to continuing my education with Fred. He has plenty for me to learn.

Just so you know I haven't completely gone off the deep end, here is what I ate over the weekend:

Saturday:
Breakfast: Skipped.
Lunch: A green salad with oil and vinegar, and an orange.
Snack: 3 power balls and an apple
Supper: Salad with avocado, tomato, yellow pepper and lemon juice. I was still hungry so I fixed some corn chowder and gobbled that down too.

Sunday:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with banana, apple, pear, and mango.
Lunch: Big green salad with tomatoes, red onion, red pepper and a Caesar dressing of oil, vinegar, mustard and some seasonings.
Supper: Salad with cucumber, tomato, yellow pepper, oil and vinegar. "Nori rolls" with avocado and cauliflower mixed together for "rice" and red pepper, cucumber, and carrots; all rolled in sheets of nori seaweed and sliced into sushi-sized pieces.

Both days' lunches were at a restaurant with a group of people eating a variety of some of my favorite SAD foods. I am happy to report that I was not tempted in the least to have any of it!

I did not do my Body Flex either day.

A Long Day

2009-03-13T23:33:00.003-04:00

I have not been on my regular schedule lately. I have been sleeping 2 hours later each day, which is more like 1 hour with the time change. I definitely haven't adjusted yet. It has another effect on the other end of the day too. I haven't been able to get to sleep at a decent time either. Tonight I am taking some melatonin to get to sleep. This morning I did get myself up and got busy with my Body Flex right away. But after running around all day today, I am really whipped tonight.

I need to be up and ready to go tomorrow morning for a full day with Fred Payne. My husband and I both will be in his 2 day Healing and Training Workshop for clearing emotional issues and more. I feel very strongly that clearing a lot of the stuff from my past will allow me to maintain a healthy diet for the rest of my life. I am such an emotional eater, that every little bit helps.

Today's meals were really off.
Breakfast: A small leftover salad with a half of cucumber added.
Lunch: Some salad fixings from Whole Foods' salad bar.
Snack: A few olives and a handful of cashew nuts.
Supper: A little bit of zucchini spaghetti with alfredo sauce and a couple of power balls.

I haven't lost any weight in 2 weeks, but I have lost 4" in the past 6 days thanks to Body Flex!

Day 41

2009-03-12T23:11:00.000-04:00

I went to another workshop by Fred Payne this evening. This one was on relationships. Not just the relationship we are in or the one we want, but all relationships including past lovers, past lives, parents, family members, and most importantly, our relationship with ourselves. Funny how any of those from the past can influence the ones we have now.

Aniel Love was there again tonight, radiating light and love like an angel sent straight from the heavens! Again, she did additional work on me and I felt like a tsunami wave hit me! She is a powerful healer, that one.

With all this energy work, I expect to see miraculous changes over the next few months. All of this work causes cells to release toxins and produces a variety of physical detox symptoms. It is all good. The more I detox, the more weight I seem to let go of. Eating raw then becomes secondary to the whole process. It is holistic healing.

One thing I notice every time I step out into public now, is just how old and tired everyone seems to be. I look in the mirror everyday and see improvements in my skin tone and eyes. Even the dark, sunken circles under my eyes have mostly disappeared. They were my badges of sorrow for my aging mother. But as my appearance improves, I am dumbfounded by the sad, pasty-looking faces I see all around me. I keep forgetting what a SAD diet does to the human body. I am so grateful for finding a raw food plan that works for me. I wish more people were open to this way of eating.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Power balls....needed a real boost to get moving today.
Lunch: Green smoothie with banana, apple, blueberries, cucumber, collards, and spinach.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti.

Did my Body Flex first thing this morning.

Making Changes

2009-03-11T22:49:00.004-04:00

I have been thinking lately about how we make changes in our lives. There are many discussions on this topic and I don't pretend to have any new revelations here, but it seems we can't have too many tools in our back pocket for everything that comes our way that we wish to change.

There is a particular quote that has inspired me for many years. It is from W. H. Murray in The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

I happen to agree with Mr. Murray, I think he hit the proverbial nail precisely on the head. I have noticed that once my mind is made up and I decide to commit to something that magical things begin to happen. Resources and circumstances seem to align with my purpose in ways that were not predictable.

But then other questions begin to form. How does one become committed? How is being committed different than just making a decision? Why is it that we can say we are committed and nothing changes? How can we make so many wrong choices and say we are committed when we really aren't?

Suffice it to say, I have laid awake many a night pondering these questions. The pondering started today when someone asked me how I do this. After all, today marks my 40th day of being 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free!

Today I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, pear, peaches, banana, Swiss chard, and collards.
Lunch: "Corn chowder." (See recipe below.)
Supper: Big salad with endive, tomatoes, Vidalia onion, olives, celery, carrots, mushrooms and a dressing of lemon and lime juice, mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

Corn Chowder (my own recipe) Serves 2

2 c. fresh or frozen corn, removed from the cob
1/3 c. cashews
1 green onion
1 c. almond milk or water
Sea salt to taste

Blend 1 cup of corn with the rest of the ingredients. Put the rest of the corn into bowls. Red or green peppers, or other chopped vegetables can be added for additional color and flavor. Pour liquid over the corn. Stir and enjoy.

More Spiritual Healing

2009-03-10T23:55:00.001-04:00

I was really tired this morning, not sure why, but I slept way past my usual time to wake up and get moving. It seems curious to me that my energy levels seem to wax and wane at their own choosing. I am looking forward to a day when my energy is stronger and more reliable. But I can't abuse my body for as long as I did and expect it to just come bounding back because I want it to. Or can I?

I spent another evening with Fred Payne tonight in a workshop for prosperity and abundance. He cleared all kinds of crap from everyone in the room. We should all win the lottery tomorrow! My dear friend, Aniel Love was there tonight as well. She did some additional clearing for me afterwards. Things ought to really start happening now. I notice that every time I go to one of these sessions with either one or both of them, things noticeably improve in my life. Fred even did a couple of clearings around food and eating habits for us. One piece of the healing tonight cleared all forms of self-sabotage. That alone should be enough to blast me through to the next higher tax bracket!

I ate fairly lightly today, trying to avoid a lot of nuts and seeds. Here's what I had:
Breakfast: A smoothie with just bananas and peaches.
Lunch: Spinach salad with tomato, jicama, olives, celery, carrots and mushrooms with just lemon juice and Celtic sea salt as a dressing.
Supper: Mixed vegetables including corn, tomato, olives, celery and onion with lemon juice and Celtic sea salt. Later I ate a small handful of cashews.

I also did my Body Flex routine this morning.

Body Flex

2009-03-09T23:30:00.001-04:00

About a month ago I heard of an exercise program called Body Flex. I was intrigued by this system as it could be done sitting down. I have a lot of problems with my knees and hip joints, so anything I could do that didn't require standing for long periods of time or having to get down on the floor had a lot of appeal to me. Another feature that captured my attention was the fact that it could be done in 20 minutes and guaranteed that I would lose inches and pounds. This was my kind of exercise plan!

So after chasing it down on e-Bay, I finally received my new exercise equipment....a plastic bar with a rubber stretchy band and a couple of videos. (I found the VHS video tapes real cheap and we still have a VCR that works.) I went through the instructional video and my first workout on Saturday morning. I was quite surprised that the 20 minute workout seemed to get me charged up for the day. I had a few aches on Sunday morning, but nothing like what I have experienced with other workouts. With the family and some friends over, I didn't have the time or privacy to do it yesterday. But today, I did it first thing this morning and again have been pleased with the energy and endurance I've had today. For what I paid for it, this system is worth the money already! I did take my measurements before I started, so we will see what happens with it in one week. If I see the results that it promises, maybe I will post some before and after pictures.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with sunflower, chia, and pepita seeds, almonds and pecans, dates, coconut flakes, an apple and a banana with almond milk. I drizzled about a teaspoon of agave nectar over it too.
Lunch: Salad with romaine lettuce, celery, carrots, an avocado, and an orange with lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Snack: Handful of cashews.
Supper: A little bit of zucchini spaghetti with alfredo sauce. I really wasn't as hungry as I thought I was.

A couple of people have asked me about the alfredo sauce, so here is the recipe. It is my version of a couple of other people's recipes.

1/3 cup macadamia nuts
1/3 cup pine nuts
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1/2 lemon, juiced
1 clove garlic
1/2 cup water
Dash of nutmeg
Dash of white pepper
Celtic sea salt

Throw everything into a blender and blend until creamy and smooth.

This makes more than enough for 2 servings. My husband even liked it and finished it off tonight. It can be used over spiralized zucchini for spaghetti or as a dipping sauce for other veggies.

Weekend Diversions

2009-03-09T07:00:00.001-04:00

I have logged another successful weekend. Certain times seem to be a little more challenging to stay raw and weekends definitely rank in the top 3. Having the whole family home plus friends dropping by, makes me become more deliberate in my planning and eating.

Our social life has been really impacted by my raw venture. We no longer go out for coffee, meet for drinks or celebrate events at our favorite restaurants. Right now, with the economy being what it is, no one is complaining.

Saturday night we went to a showing at an art gallery and by the time we got there, the drinks and hors d'oeuvres were gone (or never existed, I'm not sure.) Normally this would have been followed by dinner out or drinks at a local hot spot. Instead we decided to drop in at our daughter's work place unannounced to say hi. She was working the night shift in labor and delivery at a local hospital. Hey! We know how to party!

All went well until we sat down to watch a rather somber movie (Sophie's Choice) on Sunday night. I am not sure if it was just the movie-watching habit to eat popcorn, or if it was wanting comfort food to numb what I knew was going to be an emotional reaction to the movie, but for the first time in 37 days, I had some fierce cravings. I finally settled on some power balls.

So now I realize that the power balls have become my new comfort food. I am not opposed to eating them if they curb real cravings, but to use them so often is not a good sign. Yes, they are keeping me raw, but they are very high in fat and I suspect they are slowing down my weight loss. I am going to pay attention to this situation and think about what I need to do or eat to satisfy myself without using these things as a crutch. Maybe time alone will sort that out. I have read that as a raw foodist, your tastes and appetite will evolve to a much better diet. I will look forward to that, but for now, I need to notice what is going on with me when these urges strike.

On Saturday I ate:

Breakfast: Some leftover mushroom stems and "cheese" sauce from Friday night.

Lunch: Nori rolls....avocado with lemon juice and sea salt, with a mixture of chopped carrots, red bell pepper, sprouts, and shallots; all rolled into a couple of sheets of nori seaweed and cut into sushi-like pieces.

Snack: a handful of cashews.

Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with tomato sauce, celery and olives.

Dessert: Apple with almond butter.

On Sunday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with a pear, an apple, 2 bananas, and Swiss chard.

Lunch: Rest of the green smoothie.

Supper: Salad with romaine, spinach, celery, carrots, capers, black olives, jicama, avocado, with lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt.

Craving Killer: Power balls.

Old Habits

2009-03-06T23:16:00.000-05:00

It amazes me just how fast we can return to old habits! They can creep up and grab you when you aren't looking and drag you down before you know what hit you.

I received some bad/sad news for a couple of days in a row and finally noticed what I was doing each time. On Wednesday, I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when the phone rang and I discovered some disturbing news. There was nothing I could do to change the situation, so I sat and thought about it for a few minutes. Suddenly I realized that I was hungry. So I went to the kitchen, made some power balls and promptly consumed them.

On Thursday, a similar situation occurred and I just made a beeline for the kitchen and whipped up another batch of power balls. It wasn't until I had eaten two of them before I realized what I was doing. I was stuffing my feelings. Again. Being raw hadn't changed that life-long pattern of eating to avoid feeling badly.

In this economy it seems there is bad news everyday and today was no exception. For the third straight day I picked up the phone to hear that someone really close had lost his job. The news was particularly upsetting as this man worked with my husband and the axe had fallen pretty close to home. I sat in shock at this news and noticed the urge to go eat emerge from the depths of my unconscious. As I realized the instantaneous hunger, I also realized how badly I really felt. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and shout, "It's not right! It's not fair! No, you can't do this to someone I care about!" They can and they did, and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

As I dissected my feelings about all this, I began to see how the pattern got set in place when I was very young. I had no control over the events in my life and food became my pacifier any time something happened that made me unhappy. The seeds of a compulsive overeater were set in place at a very young age and they have ruled my life for the better part of 58 years. Knowing this doesn't change anything. The lesson for me out of this is to always be vigilant. Never eat without knowing why I am eating.

As for all those sad feelings, I sat and pondered them for a while and then took the advice of my very wise buddy. I put them on a train and let them go.

On Thursday I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, 2 bananas, 2 oranges and 3 big stalks of Swiss chard.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with 1/2 grapefruit, an orange, an avocado, spinach and spring mix and a dressing of lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Emotional Comfort Food: Power balls.
Supper: Salad with romaine lettuce, red and yellow peppers, leeks and carrots with lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, 2 bananas, a pear, an orange and lots of kale.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: A less than ecstatic attempt at a raw pizza: portobella mushrooms, raw tomato sauce, olives, shallots, and a raw "cheese" made with cashews, nutritional yeast, garlic, lemon juice, sea salt, and water. It needs some work. I will post some pictures of it next time. It looked fabulous.

Final note...today is 5 weeks of 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free.

Time for Variety...Well Maybe

2009-03-05T02:34:00.000-05:00

It has occurred to me that I have been eating about the same foods every day with not a lot of variety. Well, it is winter time here and there isn't a whole lot of produce that isn't getting shipped into town from somewhere. So I have been at the mercy of whatever my favorite stores stock.

I do most of my shopping for organic produce at Whole Foods. I love that place! The feng shui just pumps high energy from every corner. It is always clean and the food is beautifully displayed. It is a positive experience even when it is packed with people. Everyone is always so happy, polite and helpful...even the other customers! We seem to form an instant bond with each other that allows us to just ask perfect strangers where to find X. I have struck up some pretty interesting conversations with people I don't know over the oddest things! All in all, it is a very pleasant shopping experience compared to say, Wal*Mart. I believe those good vibes get transferred to the food we eat. You really don't want some angry, underpaid person handling your precious greens!

To anyone going raw I would say get to know the produce people where you shop! By name! This has really paid off for me on many occasions. It is to the point now that when the nice guys who stock the shelves see me coming, they will point out something new (Jerusalem artichokes!) or will let me know they have fresher kale in the back and just go get it for me.

So after perusing several raw cookbooks, I found a recipe for a raw "pizza" that looked good and easy to make. I had lovingly chosen just the right package of 3 beautiful portobella mushrooms for the crust part of these babies. I had perfected a tomato sauce that would be just right for this venture and had thrown an extra packet of sun-dried tomatoes into the shopping cart. Every ingredient was chosen with such care. After all, it has been at least 6 weeks since I have had real pizza...I wanted this to be a special moment with my portobellas. I had romantic notions of a red checkered tablecloth with a candle dripping wax down a Chianti bottle. Violin music played in the background as I savored the first bite of my creation. When I returned home from the store I tucked the special stash into the far reaches of the refrigerator and hid them with huge bunches of spinach, kale, chard and red bibb lettuce.

I was looking forward to my new venture in raw food production (it isn't "cooking") all day today, but when I went to find my portobellas they were gone! I ravaged the fridge and they were no where to be found. A short investigation revealed that they had been ruthlessly chopped up, thrown into some dish with smoked sausage, and had the precious life cooked right out of them! I secretly called my daughter a murderer and vowed to get even.

So to try something new, I came up with a less than happy spinach soup. I will try to satisfy my pizza urges another day.

Here's today's menu:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with an apple, a pear, 2 bananas, a fistful of kale and a dash of cinnamon.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with spinach, spring mix, 1/2 grapefruit, 2 oranges, an avocado, a few raisins, some sunflower seeds and a dressing of lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Snack: Some power ball goo.
Supper: A soup of spinach, carrots, almond milk, and garlic, all blended. I chopped up some red and orange peppers, a Jerusalem artichoke and a couple of small carrots to throw in for some crunch.

Detox Symptoms

2009-03-03T23:58:00.001-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling really run down. My muscles and joints were aching and I was tired from not being able to sleep from all the pain. I thought my massage therapist might have out done herself yesterday! I finally decided that perhaps I was suffering from a whole lot of detoxification going on throughout my body. So I made the decision to drink a lot of water and fluids today and that seemed to turn things around fairly quickly. By this afternoon I was in high gear with no pain at all.

Here's what I had today:
Breakfast: Ruby Red Ambrosia: a full quart of a juicy elixir of carrots, celery, apple, lemon, ginger root, cucumber and beet.
Lunch: Power balls
Supper: Salad with zucchini, jicama, sprouts, tomatoes, shallots, and olives with a little lemon juice.

Day 31

2009-03-03T00:31:00.000-05:00

I celebrated my 30 days of success with a massage today. I can't say I feel exactly wonderful right now though. I feel like I have a low grade temperature and a little bit of a sore throat. I have cancelled an appointment for tomorrow and am going to get to bed.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Muesli with sunflower, chia and pumpkin seeds, pecans, goji berries, raisins, dates, an apple and a banana with almond milk.
Supper: Mediterranean Salad with spinach, spring mix, fennel, tomatoes, onion, capers, olives, avocado, pine nuts and basil with lemon juice, Celtic sea salt and olive oil.

Day 30 & Beyond

2009-03-02T08:23:00.000-05:00

My appetite seems to be decreasing! I have had several meals over the past week where I simply could not eat everything I had prepared for myself. I have heard that this happens on a raw diet, but I didn't really think it would happen to me. But it has and this is really good news. I am an overeater from way back and no diet has ever been very satisfying to me because I always felt like I wanted more to eat. Portion control has eluded me since I was a child, so I really like feeling full without eating so much.

On Saturday I didn't feel like eating much. I really only had 2 meals and a snack. Sunday morning I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat until 6:30 pm. It was sort of an unplanned fast. But I felt fine and went to bed Sunday night feeling considerably lighter.

On Saturday I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with pecans, chia, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, cranberries, dates, raisins, an apple and a banana with almond milk.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with grapefruit, 2 oranges, avocado, spinach and arugula with lemon juice, agave nectar, water and olive oil dressing.
Snack: The rest of the dehydrated veggie chips. Definitely not eating those again!

Sunday I fasted until 6:30 pm and then had:
Supper: Small salad with spinach, spring mix, radiccino, celery, and tomato with lemon juice and olive oil.
Snack: Guacamole with celery and baby carrots.

Day 28

2009-02-28T00:03:00.000-05:00

It has been 4 weeks now of being 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free! Wow. Determination and intention are powerful when effectively utilized together. Five weeks ago I was struggling to be raw. There was a point when I drew a line in the sand and simply stepped over it. There have been a few other times when I have done that and they all turned out to be life-changing decisions. This has turned out to be one that I sincerely desire to be a lifelong change.

I do want to comment on the use of the word "determination." Language so shapes our lives and I want to clarify how I am using this word. Many times we are "determined" to do something. We are indicating our resolve to do it. But being determined didn't help me. I was very determined to go raw, but just continued to be seduced by a lot of foods that undermined my intentions.

How I am using the word now, points to having made a decision to go raw. I determined, or rather decided that going raw was the right thing for me to do. I then decided that I had to do it for myself. I then made many decisions after that, like how I would do it and what foods I would eat. I wrote out some of my decisions on this blog and used them as a guide to making more decisions. Then I made daily decisions based on those decisions. It became a series of decisions rather than just stating my resolve to go raw.

Resolving to do things is easy....we just say the words. Deciding to do them is far more challenging. The decision making process requires a lot of thought and frequently research. One decision will lead to another and another.

It is through the decision making process that I arrived where I am now. There were decisions every step of the way and every single day. After I made the bigger decisions, the smaller ones became easier and easier. I believe this is probably how big changes are possible.

All these decisions have resulted in letting go of 11 lbs. in the past 4 weeks!

My decisions for today were:
Breakfast: BIG green smoothie with 2 bananas, 1 cup blueberries, an apple, a pear, a fistful of each parsley and spinach.
Lunch: The other half of the smoothie and some dehydrated veggie chips, which I don't think were the best.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with leftover tomato sauce with sun-dried tomatoes thrown in....much better than last night's sauce.

Rainy Day Realizations

2009-02-26T23:52:00.000-05:00

It has been cloudy and rainy today and I have been a little achy. My arthritis pain has been greatly diminished since I have gone raw. But as I took stock of some of the many changes that have happened in the past 27 days, I noted that I have not had any over-the-counter or prescription pain relievers during this time.

This is a huge milestone for me as Advil, Tylenol, Excedrin, Motrin, Nuprin, Aleve and every type of aspirin have been a part of my daily intake for several decades now.

I have also used several prescription drugs for pain as well, including Celebrex, Vicotin, Lortab, Percocet, Percodan, Oxycontin, Dilaudid, MS Contin, and hydrocodone. Granted, there were some good reasons for the prescription drugs (a couple of accidents and surgeries), but then I have to add the anesthesia and morphine to the list! Who knows what else I was given in the hospital?!! I wasn't very aware during those times.

In addition to all those drugs, there were also prescriptions for anti-inflammatories, antibiotics, anti-depressants, decongestants, blood pressure, and glaucoma. There have also been shots of hydro cortisone and several courses of prednisone.

With all those painkillers and other drugs, it's no wonder that I drank so much coffee to stay awake and function at a fast paced job. But then it frequently required the offsets of Tylenol PM and the like to get to sleep at night.

It's no wonder I had constant heartburn. A conservative estimate would be about 78,000+ Rolaids that I chomped down in the past 20 years. And yes, I tried other OTC and prescription remedies for that chronic ailment too.

Too bad I never invested in the drug companies. At least I would have had something to show for all the money spent on those drugs.

When I look back and take stock, I realize that 6 short months ago I was about as close to death as I could be and still wake up in the morning. It is a miracle that I am alive.

The past 20 years have not been easy either. The stresses of a divorce, caring for and losing sick family members and pets, job changes and losses, moves, accidents, illnesses and some other events too painful to mention, make me realize how resilient the human body and spirit are. I am lucky to be alive right now.

But more important, I am grateful to be raw. If 27 days can start to reverse 20 years of declining health and drug dependency, then maybe there is another life waiting for me to live.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Power ball goo.
Lunch: Apple and a flax seed cracker (big one!)
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with sauce of 4 roma tomatoes, 1/2 red pepper, 1/4 c. pine nuts, basil, garlic, sea salt.

Fred Payne

2009-02-26T13:29:00.001-05:00

Last night my husband and I went to a healing workshop put on by Fred Payne. This is the first I have seen him since last September and I was much more tuned into what was happening this time. This man is the best energy worker I have seen in all the years I have been seeking out healing from the small corners of the planet. This man and one of his students, Aniel Love, have made such a huge difference for me in the past five months. I am looking forward to doing more work with him over the next month to boost my energy levels and help clear more toxins from my body.

Wednesday's meals were a little off but I felt good and didn't get hungry. I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, apple, blueberries, spinach and parsley.
Late lunch: Power ball goo.
No supper, but late night snack: one apple.

Day 25

2009-02-25T12:11:00.000-05:00

Day 25 got away from me a bit. I started working on the taxes again. I had procrastinated as long as I could reasonably justify by getting a lot of other things done before I locked myself in my office to work on them. It turned into a very long day and they still are not done! I took my breakfast smoothie into the office with me when I started and didn't emerge until around 8:30 pm! I got so wrapped up in number crunching that I completely missed lunch. By the time I finally gave up for the day, I was stomping through the kitchen like a grizzly bear on a food hunt! You know the feeling....ANYTHING will do and you'll rip apart steel to get to it! Fortunately I caught myself before I did myself in with my daughter's chicken/spinach burritos. I ate a couple of power balls and then made a great big salad. Disaster avoided. But I will not let that happen a second time.

Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, blueberries, Swiss chard, and spinach.
Lunch: U.S. Tax Form 1040, Schedule C.
Supper: A couple of power balls and a big salad of spinach, arugula, red and green peppers, celery, red onion, Jerusalem artichokes, avocado, and pumpkin seeds with a dressing of lemon juice, agave nectar, water and olive oil.

Changes

2009-02-24T10:10:00.000-05:00

Going raw for 24 days is the single biggest change I think I have ever made in my eating habits in my life. The changes that have come with it have been astounding. The mental clarity and lightness of being have been remarkable. The peace I have found within myself has brought moments of sheer joy and bliss. Things that would have confused, confounded or overwhelmed me before are put into a rightful perspective and problems are solved much easier. I have found a patience within myself for things like the U.S Tax Code and slow checkout lines at the grocery store! There is an emerging sense of self beyond the body and mind that I can only describe as spirit. My meditations are spent tuning into this spirit as it seems to be an invigorating place to spend 30-60 minutes every day. The experience of all this makes me wonder at what point I could take it for all granted and slip back into eating the Standard American Diet. It is my desire to make this change a permanent one in my life.

I no longer concern myself with how much I weigh each morning. My sense is that my body is healing itself and knows what it needs to do to restore balance and harmony within itself. The excess weight is being released, but it is another side effect of of bringing my whole being into alignment.

A decluttering process has begun anew in my home as well. It is time to let things go that no longer serve me or no longer have a place in my life. My feng shui training tells me that this alone will cause changes in my life, but this time it is the other way around. I have made changes in my life and now my home is changing to match my life. It's all good.

On Monday I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with peaches, banana, blueberries, spinach and collard greens.
Lunch: Huge salad with escarole, mache, radicchio, avocado, carrots, celery, red onion, red and green pepper, and dressing with lemon juice, agave nectar, water and olive oil.
Supper: Power balls.

Sunday Brunch

2009-02-23T00:26:00.000-05:00

I went to a cousin's baby shower today and was stunned by the "brunch" that was layed out for us. It was more like a smorgasbord! The lady who hosted it runs a bed and breakfast and really knows how to entertain and put on a spread. This was the ultimate challenge. I marveled at how good it all looked, how beautifully it was displayed and just helped myself to the fruit!

It really was remarkable to look at that much food and not be tempted by it. I found myself appreciating it all for the abundance and beauty it represented rather than how it tasted. Apparently it was all delicious. The other guests raved about it. I really enjoyed my fruit!

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Big green smoothie with mango, bananas, peaches, celery, romaine lettuce and cinnamon.
Lunch: Pineapple, cantaloupe and grapes.
Supper: Soup with tomatoes, avocado, onion, celery cilantro, spinach, lime juice, Jerusalem artichoke and sea salt.

A Quiet Saturday

2009-02-21T23:58:00.000-05:00

It has been a quiet day today. After my cousin left early this morning I did a few things around the house then went back to bed for a few hours. I don't know why I am needing so much sleep, unless my body is trying to make up for lost sleep over the past 5 years!

I have not been exercising on a regular basis yet. I haven't been in the habit and that is something I am going to be addressing soon. I bought a Body Flex kit on e-Bay last week, but it has not arrived yet. Once it gets here I will be anxious to try it out. It had a lot of appeal for me because it can be done sitting down. My knees have been bothering me lately so I think the Body Flex will be a good plan to get me started. I am hoping that it will boost my energy levels once I start exercising regularly.

I have also been drinking a lot more water. Don't know why I feel so dehydrated after 64 oz. a day and all the fruit and vegetables I eat. Perhaps it is because the air is so cold and dry. I am noticing that my skin is not as dry as it usually is during the winter months....except for my hands. I spend so much time washing fruits and vegetables and hand washing the VitaMix that they are feeling dry. I need to try using some coconut oil on them at night.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, bananas, clementines, collards, spinach and a spoonful of coconut oil.
Lunch/Supper: Big salad with arugula, mache, fennel, celery, carrots, tomato, avocado, cashews, and dressing of lemon juice, agave nectar, and olive oil.
Dessert: A small bowl of power ball goo.

Three Weeks and Counting

2009-02-21T08:35:00.000-05:00

It has now been 3 weeks of being 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free! It definitely feels like a habit now, but I certainly do not take anything for granted.

My cousin spent the night last night and decided to go back home today since the weather is supposed to turn bad. She was going to take us out to eat, but after I explained my new eating habits, she agreed to let my daughter cook for her. We had a fun supper with me doing my own thing. We all sat down together and I did not feel at all deprived. I did eye some garlic bread that was placed next to me. It smelled very good but I just picked it up and passed it on. It landed by someone else who ate several slices. But no one seemed to care what I was eating, we were all talking and laughing too much.

I am still feeling very tired and achy, but I am sure now that my body is just ridding itself of toxins. Getting more rest and drinking lots of water seems to be the answer. My weight is down 10 lbs. now and it is worth everything to keep going.

On Friday I had:
Breakfast: Green juice with collards, kale, parsley, celery, carrots, cucumber and apple.
Lunch: Salad with romaine lettuce, fennel, celery, carrots, black olives, pine nuts, tomato, lemon juice and olive oil.
Supper: More salad, zucchini spaghetti with a tomato sauce of whole tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, a dash of apple cider vinegar, agave nectar, basil, Italian seasoning, and garlic.

Rough Day

2009-02-20T00:09:00.000-05:00

I am feeling extremely tired today. In fact I laid down for a nap and didn't wake up until almost 4 hours later! My joints are swollen and achy and I still feel tired. I don't know if these are detox symptoms or if I really am sick. Either way, I am going to bed soon and hope for a better day tomorrow.

I wasn't very hungry today. I had:
Breakfast: Museli with a variety of nuts, seeds, dried fruits, a banana, an apple and almond milk.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with "Alfredo" sauce.
Lots of water!

Deep in the Heart of Taxes

2009-02-19T05:26:00.000-05:00

I really don't like doing taxes. I could rant for an hour about this but, what's the point? This is one of those inevitable things we must do in life along with live and die. Maybe when I am on my deathbed I will prefer to do my taxes. Until then, it's the other way around.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Power balls!
Lunch: Big Citrus and Avocado Salad with an additional clementine.
Supper: Butternut Squash Soup

Unpleasant chores

2009-02-17T23:40:00.000-05:00

Today I didn't get enough calories in to keep me going during the day. By 3:00 this afternoon, I wanted to take a nap. Well, maybe I was avoiding the tasks I had said I was going to do. It was a tough decision...clean the house or do taxes. Sleep was a much better option! I did finally get the first of three sets of taxes done. The other two will take longer, but at least I have gotten into the mind set of doing them now. I hate having to force myself to do something.

But I still feel really tired tonight and am looking forward to going to bed. I feel like my body is getting cleaner every day now and I suspect I need more sleep to allow it to do its job. I have also been noticing strange aches and pains in odd places. The pains seem to come and go and don't stick around long in any one place. After all my body has been through I probably have toxins packed away in tissues all over my body. A noticeable detoxification process will most likely go on for a couple of years. All I can do is be patient with myself while my body heals. It is a much different experience to have pain in my body and realize it is healing. No need to run for any painkillers now.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with a cup each of blueberries and peaches, 2 bananas, and Swiss chard.
Lunch: Celery, baby carrots and red bell pepper with a pate of walnuts, red bell pepper, parsley, and green onion, followed by 2 clementines.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with a tomato sauce of 2 whole tomatoes, half a cup of sun-dried tomatoes, a tablespoonful of apple cider vinegar, a squirt of agave nectar, basil and Italian seasoning. For dessert I had a little bit of power ball mixture of almond butter, coconut oil, agave nectar, sunflower seeds, coconut and ground flax seeds.

Getting There

2009-02-16T23:54:00.000-05:00

Anyone who has tried to go raw knows it is not an overnight process for most of us. There are those out there who have done it and have maintained for long periods of time, but they tend to be the exception rather than the rule. The rest of us try to learn from them and struggle and fail repeatedly before we find our wings and really fly. Even then, there's no guarantee that we won't crash land into the couch with a potato chip bag in our hands tomorrow!

I have been thinking about the process of going raw and have come to some conclusions of my own that seem to have gotten me to Day 17. I want to write down what I have learned now in case I am the one who needs the flight plan tomorrow!

My journey began 22 years ago when I went raw for certain meals out of the day for about 2 weeks. I wasn't sure I could ever maintain a raw vegan diet, so I promptly went back to eating SAD. But the incredible feeling I got from eating just one or two raw meals a day stuck in my memory. I always knew it was the ultimate health plan. Two years ago I went raw for a week with the help of a soy protein powder. Health issues that had plagued me for decades disappeared in 6 days! Again, I was thrilled with the results but knew I couldn't maintain it. I had serious food addictions to coffee, bread, sugar, etc. Over time, I learned to kick the sugar almost completely. (I was and still am the only member of my blood relatives who is not a diabetic.) But the obsession with grain products and caffeine continued unchecked. I had been a vegan back in the early 70s, but never saw it as a permanent way of life for myself. I still was not ready to give up a lot of the foods I loved. My husband and I loved to go on dates to Ruth's Chris Steak House for seared ahi tuna appetizers and the porterhouse for two, all accompanied by a nice bottle of merlot. We had such fun times. How could I give all that up? Or the Saturday afternoons in Starbucks, he with a cafe mocha, I with my hazelnut latte. Our romantic life centered around bad food choices that were costing me big time. He is ten years younger than me, and my health was deteriorating at a much faster pace.

After a series of life events that left me in the poorest health I had ever experienced (see blog entry "Swamp Fever" 12/02/2008), I concluded that my health had to be my #1 priority. People in 12 step recovery programs will tell you that you need to hit rock bottom before you can start to recover. I was there. It was a matter of life or death...choose! For those of you thinking that you haven't hit rock bottom, hopefully this will help raise your bottom. Do nothing about your health and you will die. Sooner rather than later. It is a fact.

After reading "Skinny Bitch" in a weekend, I immediately gave up meat, eggs, most dairy products, caffeine, sugar and alcohol. I ate a vegan diet, but not raw. With the exception of cheese, I have maintained that for almost 6 months now. I began to eat more and more raw foods and began to feel considerably better. In November of last year I did a 30 day raw program that was far from perfect. After 2 weeks I knew that I wanted to go 100% raw for life. But again, I was not able to maintain it.

I also began to realize that my cheating with bread, nacho chips and cheese was really sabotaging my efforts to go raw. I moved grains and dairy products into the food addictions category and realized that there was no "just a bite" that wouldn't hurt me. Those foods were the final frontier for me. I knew that eating those foods was like being an alcoholic...once I started, it was an all out binge. I even experienced a type of hangover from them too. I would feel miserable all the next day after eating those foods.

So on January 31st of this year, after a disappointing experience with a raw group, I realized that this was something I had to do on my own. No one was going to help me take charge of my own health. I had to be responsible for myself. No one knew my body, my addictions, my lifestyle better than me. I was the best authority on putting together a plan for me that there was. So that is exactly what I did. I wrote out a plan that took into account my eating habits and my addictions. It is one that I was able to write out based on the knowledge I have learned about myself over the years. My plan has been my saviour now for 17 days. It is working. I am feeling incredibly energetic and happy. The benefits are continueing to mount and I am beginning to see this as a permanent way of living my life.

If one other person sees this and is motivated to go raw for even one more day, it is worth everything to me. If there is one person who realizes that they are the one to take charge of their health and writes out their own personal plan, my purpose is fulfilled. I wish someone would have told me 22 years ago that I would have to be the one to decide to stay raw. No book, no person, no doctor, no one could have done this for me.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with a mango, an orange, 2 bananas, and kale
Lunch: Butternut Squash Soup and a few power balls.
Supper: Large salad with arugula, spinach, fennel, red bell pepper, red onion, olives, capers, basil, lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.

Valentine's Weekend

2009-02-14T23:37:00.000-05:00

I never would have dreamed that I could maintain a raw vegan diet on a day like Valentine's Day, but I did! No chocolate truffles, no sugary sweet cupcakes, no candy hearts, no heart-shaped pans of brownies. I am thrilled that I have hopefully learned a lesson or two about how sick all that makes me.

In looking back over the past 16 days, I realize that I have also breezed through a family funeral with all the usual church-supper casserole dishes and eating out in restaurants. It seems that I have crossed over into a new world of being raw. I am not "trying" to be raw, I am raw! I plan my daily activities around whatever I need to do to manage my eating habits. I don't even think about it too much anymore. It has become much more of a routine for me now. I work around my family's cooked meals the best I can. I make a big salad they can eat, they save some raw vegetables for me. I still look at recipes and try to think of creative ways to plan meals for all of us, but I don't worry if we can't coordinate things. It really is okay if I just eat simple fruit and vegetables. A handful of nuts is a perfectly good snack. I have also decided that I don't have to explain to anyone about what I eat. I owe no one any explanations. I can walk into a restaurant with a container of my own food and just tell the waiter or waitress, that I am on a special diet. No one cares. Everyone else orders from the menu, so they make their money. Everyone's happy.

I suspect that I am eating way too many calories and grams of fat, but compared to what I used to eat this is very sustainable. At some point I might start tracking everything and make an attempt to control what I eat, but for right now I am pleased that I am maintaining a 100% raw vegan diet.

On Saturday I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with 2 bananas, a pear, blueberries, spinach and a dash of cinnamon.

Lunch: Big green salad with a vinegar and oil dressing.

Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with "Alfredo" sauce...macadamia nuts, pine nuts, lemon, garlic, nutmeg and white pepper.

Snack: Some cashews and a couple of power balls.

On Sunday I ate: Breakfast: Ruby Red Ambrosia (juice of red beets, carrots, celery, apple, ginger and lemon.)
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with pink grapefruit, an orange, 2 clementines, avocado, green onions, spinach and mache with a honey, lemon juice, agave nectar and mustard dressing.
Supper: Butternut Squash Soup made with a small butternut squash, carrots, onion, alfalfa sprouts, almonds, cumin, curry, ginger and water.
Snacks: Cashews and olives

Day 14

2009-02-13T22:25:00.000-05:00

It has now been 2 weeks of being 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free for me. It is as if I have stepped over a threshold into a new dimension. Someone asked me today what I substituted for bread. I hadn't given it the first thought. Bread is something I have simply left behind.

It really is a different paradigm being 100% raw. Even when I was 80-90% it wasn't like this. There is a peace and a tranquility about being this way that gives me a completely different view of the world. There is a spirituality that is emerging that is not like what I have experienced before. I have always been a spiritual person, but this is something far beyond what I have known previously. I am accutely aware of my body now and how the spirit dwells in the body.

I have always done deep breathing exercises and meditation right before I go to bed, but now I "tune into" my spirit and the meditations have become much more enlightened. I am beginning to sense what my spirit needs and I am listening to and for those needs. I have a strong sense that I am being guided down this path and that I can trust what I am being given. For all the years of practicing yoga and studying with Indian gurus, nothing compares to this!

On the physical side, I have now released 8 lbs. in 14 days. I am extremely pleased with this progress! While I don't see much difference, I can certainly feel it in my clothes and in how my body feels. It is worth everything to feel like this. I am also noticing how much clearer my thought process is. I am able to focus on things, and solutions to problems are just popping into my mind.

This feels like a state of grace. I have heard that term before, but never really knew what is was. I find I guard this state of grace very carefully. Like an alcoholic, I stay completely away from too much temptation, knowing that I am only one bite from falling back into a dark hole of overeating and binging on junk foods. This success is too precious to gamble with.

During these 14 days, I have had one person who has been a rock of support for me. She is another woman who has decided to follow her own council and is achieving great things. But now we are four. Two other people have decided to join us and I am thrilled to have this little group of committed souls to share the journey.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with 2 bananas, a pear, a cup of frozed blueberries, collard greens and a big fistful of spinach.
Lunch: Big salad with red leaf lettuce, spinach, tomato, carrots, celery, red bell pepper, mushrooms, sunflower seeds and a dressing of sun-dried tomato, pecans, olive oil, garlic, lemon juice and basil.
Supper: A "tomato soup"...whole tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, some baby carrots, sunflower seeds, garlic, basil, and lemon all thrown into the VitaMix and blended. I also had a flax seed cracker as some "bread!"