A Complete 180

Today was my 180th day of being a raw vegan! I confess that not every one of those days was 100% raw, but darn close. I would say it averages out to be 99.998% raw in all that time. The only times I wasn't completely raw was when I was away from home and had no other choices. But my commitment remains strong.

I have had several people tell me that they are worried about me. This completely baffles me as there has been such a radical improvement in my body, soul and mind since starting down this organic garden path. I have a short list of some of the ailments and conditions that used to plague my health....in a day or so I am going to post them on the side bar for all to see. Hopefully it will quell any doubts or concerns.

But for now I will happily tell you that I have dropped 32 lbs. during this time! That is about 1 and 1/4 lb. per week. A healthy loss...nothing radical at all. Since attempting to go raw back in November, I have shaved off a total of 42 lbs. Not bad, if I do say so myself!

I feel like I have completely turned my life around with this decision...not an easy thing to do for anyone, but the rewards have been well worth it. I will stay this course and see where it takes me next.

Back to Business

I have done enough dawdling this summer....it's time to get back to blogging!

My Rainbow Green Live-Food Cuisine plan has been remarkably satisfying. I have not been hungry and have found lots of new recipes that keep things interesting. My eyes are brighter, my skin is clearer, my blood sugars are down and I have dropped a few more pounds. My energy seems to be increasing too. I am very happy with this plan.

I have also had a few strangers come up to me and rave about my skin! One woman in the grocery store insisted that I tell her what creams I use on my skin at night. She kept asking me if I had tried various products. She would not believe me when I told her that being a raw vegan gave me my glow. She followed me around the grocery store and kept asking me questions about my skin. I finally told her that I occasionally use olive or coconut oil. That seemed to be what finally satisfied her as the last I saw her she was looking over jars of coconut oil!

But it is true, my skin has been noticeably clearer and smoother. The woman was quite shocked to learn that I was 16 years older than her! She thought I was 10 years younger than her. You just can't argue with results like that!

My only difficulties with the plan occurred on a recent trip to another city for 4 days. Even though I took lots of food along and located a couple of raw vegan restaurants in the area, I still was not able to maintain the program the way I wanted. I ran out of some things and had no place or time to prepare anything else. One of the restaurants closed early and another was way out of the way, so I never got to either of them. It was very frustrating trying to find something to eat that was not just an iceberg lettuce salad. I finally succumbed to my hunger and ordered regular vegetarian meals from the local restaurants. I was not very happy about the limited choices.

But it was not a problem going back to the plan. In fact, it was a welcome relief to return to what really makes me feel good. My first couple of days back on the plan had me detoxing like a mad woman, but I feel so much better now. I do believe I can stick with this program for the long haul. And that is a very good thing!

Decision Time

As I approach the six-month mark on my raw food journey, I have started to evaluate my progress once again. While I have been very happy with my plan, I have to acknowledge other people are reporting much better results in the same amount of time. While I generally don't compare myself to others, it has been discouraging to realize that many on this path are achieving much more dramatic results. There are some other hard facts that I do need to address that are pushing me to make some changes.

• I have not dropped as much weight as I had expected or hoped.
• My energy levels still are not as consistently high as I would like.
• My blood sugars have been slowly creeping higher.

While I could live with my slow progress over the first two issues, I can not ignore the last one. To date, I am the only person in my family who has not been diagnosed with diabetes and I fully intend to maintain that status. My doctor is not concerned at this point, but my fasting blood sugars have crept into the 110-120 range....up from 90-100 last November.

Before leaving on vacation, I was not aware of my blood sugar situation and had fully intended to try Dr. Doug Graham's 80-10-10 diet when I came home. Those who use his plan eat only fruits, which gives one 80% carbohydrates, 10% protein, and 10% fats. I had tried this plan once before a couple of years ago and dropped 6 lbs. in the first few days, and nothing again for the remaining 2 weeks. During this time, I was badgered constantly by a "coach" about eating more calories. The coaching became rather abusive and I struggled to eat 1200 calories a day. I dropped the program and immediately gained all the weight back in short order.

This time I thought that reading the doctor's book and getting the facts might change the outcome. Again, I saw others having great success with this program and figured I must have been doing something wrong. Reading the book and following it properly should bring a much faster weight loss.

But now that I have tuned into the blood sugar concern, I am reluctant to eat only fruits. Dr. Graham blames excess fat in the diet for diabetes and claims that an all-fruit diet will lower blood sugars to normal levels. I am not convinced. I also know that the diet is so very restrictive. It certainly can not be maintained by average humans for indefinite periods of time. While my plan isn't a rapid weight loss plan, I have been able to maintain it for a long period of time.

So the question remained as to what to do. Should I just do my own plan and cut down or eliminate the fruit? Move to low-glycemic fruits only? Find another solution?

A couple of months ago I saw Dr. Gabriel Cousens' documentary Simply Raw: Reversing Diabetes in 30 Days. The subjects of the film took weight off quickly as well as lowered their blood sugars and medications. The program restricts fruit in the first phase of his plan and then only adds back low-glycemic fruits for a maintenance plan. He advocates using high-glycemic fruits only occasionally. Dr. Cousens' plan also encourages a lot of healthy greens, nuts and seeds. It is much closer to what I have been doing but without all the fruit.

This approach seems to fit with what I deem to be good common sense and I have decided to transition over to it. In just the first couple of days of cutting back on the amount of fruits I have been eating, my blood sugars have already started to drop. But things are certainly out of synch with me right now as I have had incredible cravings. Still I am going to try this plan and see how it goes over the next couple of months. I know that I can always return to my own plan and just reduce the fruit if I need to, but if I see good progress, I will be sticking with Dr. Cousens.

I am going to halt my daily food reports at this point. Some of the recipes I will be using from now on are from Dr. Cousens and are more complex. It wouldn't be appropriate to list them here. However, if anyone has questions or comments about what I am doing, feel free to drop me a message at gracefulgarden@insight.rr.com. I would love to hear what other people have to say about this too...especially if you have done this program.

Be well!

More Detox - Mood Swings

Just about every raw foodist that I have ever read about or met has raved about how much better they felt in every way...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have personally experienced a huge change in all these areas. Last year this time, I was extremely depressed and was sure I was about to die. Just switching to a vegan diet made a big difference, but once I began to move towards the raw, vegan diet, my whole outlook began to change to a much more positive view. I generally feel better and am not on any kind of mood-enhancing drugs!

However, I have noticed that as I continue to purge the many toxins polluting my body, that I have occasional mood swings that frequently catch me off guard. They generally range from being absolutely ecstatic to ragingly angry to being rather sad. Not being an especially "moody" person, I have become rather interested in observing these moods as they cross my consciousness.

Now, certainly we all have mood swings, and as all women know, we have more than our fair share....and they aren't all from hormones! But what we do with those moods seem to have an impact on our lives in ways that we might not be aware.

As we detox our bodies, the mind is certainly impacted. Chemicals that have been circulating through our brains might diminish, and as purer blood and oxygen begin to feed and nurture the cells, certain emotions, memories and thoughts begin to emerge. Several people have reported whole new ways of thinking about their lives after they go raw. Others experience a lift of a "brain fog." Some just start to experience their lives in new and different ways. There is a whole rainbow of experiences that others say they have experienced, but most agree that they have gone through some moods in the process.

My personal theory is that as we release toxins from our body and brains, emotions that have been stuffed begin to surface for our review. We could just stuff them back down with more food, or we can start to deal with them. Most people who are overweight have done this stuffing process for a long time to avoid the pain of having to deal with a lot of negative emotions. But if we deal with the emotional pains of the past, we start to get really honest with ourselves about who we really are. We begin to shift our view of life to a much clearer vision.

My personal opinion is that as our world view shifts and changes, and as we get more honest with ourselves, we experience these moods as indicators of emotions we need to pay attention to. Ignoring them could be damaging to our cleansing process as well as burying deep feelings that become issues for us to deal with at a later time. For me, the moods have forced me to deal with issues in my life that I had been ignoring, hoping they would go away or change on their own. The moods have been warning signs that something is happening that I need to pay attention to.

In a society where women's moods are so degraded and dismissed, I have gone along with convention and ignored and/or stuffed my feelings for a very long time. This has cost me my physical and mental health, my intuition, and my natural exuberance for life. I now see my moods as sign posts...showing me what I need to do to lead a healthy, happy life. I will not allow anyone to dismiss or invalidate what I am feeling ever again. There is just too much at stake. I am learning to honor my moods/feelings/emotions in a way that I never have before and my life is the richer for it.

On Monday I ate:

• Breakfast: Nothing...wasn't hungry.
• Lunch: Salad with spinach, celery, red bell pepper, cucumber, tomato, lemon juice and olive oil
• Supper: Corn chowder with fresh corn, red bell pepper, shallots, cashews, garlic, celery.

On Tuesday I ate:

• Breakfast: Muesli with chia and hemp seeds, goji berries, mulberries, almonds, walnuts, lucuma powder, banana apple, and almond milk.
• Lunch: Collard burrito with walnuts, tomatoes, red onion, nama shoyu, chili powder, cumin and collards.
• Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with arugula, celery, grapefruit, clementines, avocado and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar, and olive oil.

Photo note: NO, that is not me. If I had a body like that, I wouldn't be writing this blog! But, doesn't her mood just say it all?!!

The Journey

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars, began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

~From New and Selected Poems by Mary Oliver

Thank you, Laura for sharing this with me. That is exactly how it has been.

Thursday's intake:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana and collards.
• Lunch: Bowl of sauerkraut
• Supper: Collard burritos with walnuts, tomato, onion, Bragg's Aminos, cumin and chili powder.

Friday's intake:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, grapes, banana, spinach and kale.
• Lunch: Collard burrito.
• Supper: Salad of spinach, tomato, celery, carrots, red onion, lemon juice and olive oil.

Saturday's intake:

• Breakfast: Juice of beet, carrot, celery, apple, ginger and lemon.
• Lunch: Salad of cucumber, arame, red bell pepper, red onion, vinegar and olive oil.
• Supper: More of the cucumber salad, guacamole with crudites, and a vegan potato salad (not raw!)

Sunday's intake:

• Breakfast: Muesli with chia seeds, walnuts and almonds, mulberries, goji berries, banana, apple and almond milk.
• Lunch: Collard burrito.
• Supper: Bowl of sauerkraut and kale chips.

Emotional Detox

Imagine this:

A husband and wife are driving across country to their vacation destination. It is a 24 hour drive from their home to a cabin high in the Rocky Mountains. They have been driving since 4 am and it is now 8:15 pm. Both are tired, but want to get as far as they can on the first day of driving. They stop in a city along the way at a restaurant with free internet access, and the husband books a hotel room in a town 260 miles away. The wife feels she has had enough for one day and begs her husband to make the reservation in a closer city. The husband insists that he is awake and alert enough to continue on for several more hours.

As they climb back into their car, the woman snuggles under a blanket and tries to get comfortable for the 4 hour ride into the night. She tells her husband that she feels like she is 7 years old. As she says the words, she wonders why she is saying that. Suddenly memories and emotions from her childhood come rushing back and she is overcome with grief and sorrow. She spends the next couple of hours in the car crying and sobbing while her husband listens attentively.

That is what happened to me on our trip to Colorado. Out of the blue, a tragic memory was brought back to life with the full array of emotions. This was not a memory I had forgotten or suppressed. It had always been very clear to me what had happened and why, but at the time I was never able to feel or express the sadness, grief, and insecurity it brought to my young life. Not once in my entire life had I ever felt the pain of that event until a couple of weeks ago. It was overwhelming and it was like it was happening all over again in that moment. The images in my mind were vivid and the feelings were intense.

Such has been my experience of emotional detoxing. Things pop up out of thin air and I become an emotional basket case on the spot. Usually it is triggered by something being said or done in the moment that is similar to the original event that caused the feelings. So far there has been little I can do to turn off the emotions when they surface, or to resurrect them later when I can deal with them privately. I have had to leave grocery stores after glancing at certain foods my mother used to buy during holidays. I will go to my car and have a good cry before returning to my shopping. The fact that my mother has been gone for almost two years now, and I have grieved extensively for her, seems to make no difference when these hidden emotions decide to emerge.

I will say that despite the intensity of the feelings that arise, they are manageable now, where they might not have been at the time they were impressed upon me. The duration of the discharging process seems to vary with the time, place, conditions and intensity of the feelings. Having a sympathetic listener and plenty of time in the car that night allowed me to fully explore the event and the full range of emotions that it caused, and I took full advantage of the situation to just "let it all hang out." Other times I have retreated from public places for a minute or two and just let out as much as I could in the moment before composing myself and returning to my activities.

Like many overweight people, I have stuffed a multitude of feelings over the years. A less than happy childhood has given me a lifetime of opportunity to spend time on a psychologist's couch. But I find it particularly interesting that 3 1/2 years of therapy, 4 years of re-evaluation counseling, decades of introspection and self-analysis, stacks of self-help books, and countless workshops and seminars, have not brought these feelings to the surface the way that eating raw has done. I am absolutely convinced that this is truly healing me...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Eating raw, living foods allows the body to heal and consequently allows every other dimension of a being to heal.

There are various theories as to just how eating raw foods allows one to detox emotional baggage, and I won't share my personal theory here right now. But rest assured that eating raw will allow you to discharge every toxin in your entire being. True health and a connection with your divine self is possible!

On Tuesday I ate:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with banana, orange, spinach and collards.
• Lunch: Zucchini spaghetti with a sauce of tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic and onion powders, red bell pepper and vinegar.
• Supper: Romaine lettuce wraps with avocado, tomato, onion, lemon juice, dulse, and a cucumber, tomato and onion salad with olive oil and vinegar.

On Wednesday I ate:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie of apple, banana, strawberries, and romaine lettuce.
• Lunch: Bowl of sauerkraut.
• Supper: Collard burrito with walnuts, onion, tomato, Bragg's Aminos, cumin and chili powder, and the rest of the cucumber, tomato and onion salad with olive oil and vinegar.
• Snack: A few pieces of Shawna Stursa's raw chocolate.