Day 41

I went to another workshop by Fred Payne this evening. This one was on relationships. Not just the relationship we are in or the one we want, but all relationships including past lovers, past lives, parents, family members, and most importantly, our relationship with ourselves. Funny how any of those from the past can influence the ones we have now.

Aniel Love was there again tonight, radiating light and love like an angel sent straight from the heavens! Again, she did additional work on me and I felt like a tsunami wave hit me! She is a powerful healer, that one.

With all this energy work, I expect to see miraculous changes over the next few months. All of this work causes cells to release toxins and produces a variety of physical detox symptoms. It is all good. The more I detox, the more weight I seem to let go of. Eating raw then becomes secondary to the whole process. It is holistic healing.

One thing I notice every time I step out into public now, is just how old and tired everyone seems to be. I look in the mirror everyday and see improvements in my skin tone and eyes. Even the dark, sunken circles under my eyes have mostly disappeared. They were my badges of sorrow for my aging mother. But as my appearance improves, I am dumbfounded by the sad, pasty-looking faces I see all around me. I keep forgetting what a SAD diet does to the human body. I am so grateful for finding a raw food plan that works for me. I wish more people were open to this way of eating.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Power balls....needed a real boost to get moving today.
Lunch: Green smoothie with banana, apple, blueberries, cucumber, collards, and spinach.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti.

Did my Body Flex first thing this morning.

Making Changes

I have been thinking lately about how we make changes in our lives. There are many discussions on this topic and I don't pretend to have any new revelations here, but it seems we can't have too many tools in our back pocket for everything that comes our way that we wish to change.

There is a particular quote that has inspired me for many years. It is from W. H. Murray in The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

I happen to agree with Mr. Murray, I think he hit the proverbial nail precisely on the head. I have noticed that once my mind is made up and I decide to commit to something that magical things begin to happen. Resources and circumstances seem to align with my purpose in ways that were not predictable.

But then other questions begin to form. How does one become committed? How is being committed different than just making a decision? Why is it that we can say we are committed and nothing changes? How can we make so many wrong choices and say we are committed when we really aren't?

Suffice it to say, I have laid awake many a night pondering these questions. The pondering started today when someone asked me how I do this. After all, today marks my 40th day of being 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free!

Today I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, pear, peaches, banana, Swiss chard, and collards.
Lunch: "Corn chowder." (See recipe below.)
Supper: Big salad with endive, tomatoes, Vidalia onion, olives, celery, carrots, mushrooms and a dressing of lemon and lime juice, mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

Corn Chowder (my own recipe) Serves 2

2 c. fresh or frozen corn, removed from the cob
1/3 c. cashews
1 green onion
1 c. almond milk or water
Sea salt to taste

Blend 1 cup of corn with the rest of the ingredients. Put the rest of the corn into bowls. Red or green peppers, or other chopped vegetables can be added for additional color and flavor. Pour liquid over the corn. Stir and enjoy.

More Spiritual Healing

I was really tired this morning, not sure why, but I slept way past my usual time to wake up and get moving. It seems curious to me that my energy levels seem to wax and wane at their own choosing. I am looking forward to a day when my energy is stronger and more reliable. But I can't abuse my body for as long as I did and expect it to just come bounding back because I want it to. Or can I?

I spent another evening with Fred Payne tonight in a workshop for prosperity and abundance. He cleared all kinds of crap from everyone in the room. We should all win the lottery tomorrow! My dear friend, Aniel Love was there tonight as well. She did some additional clearing for me afterwards. Things ought to really start happening now. I notice that every time I go to one of these sessions with either one or both of them, things noticeably improve in my life. Fred even did a couple of clearings around food and eating habits for us. One piece of the healing tonight cleared all forms of self-sabotage. That alone should be enough to blast me through to the next higher tax bracket!

I ate fairly lightly today, trying to avoid a lot of nuts and seeds. Here's what I had:
Breakfast: A smoothie with just bananas and peaches.
Lunch: Spinach salad with tomato, jicama, olives, celery, carrots and mushrooms with just lemon juice and Celtic sea salt as a dressing.
Supper: Mixed vegetables including corn, tomato, olives, celery and onion with lemon juice and Celtic sea salt. Later I ate a small handful of cashews.

I also did my Body Flex routine this morning.

Body Flex

About a month ago I heard of an exercise program called Body Flex. I was intrigued by this system as it could be done sitting down. I have a lot of problems with my knees and hip joints, so anything I could do that didn't require standing for long periods of time or having to get down on the floor had a lot of appeal to me. Another feature that captured my attention was the fact that it could be done in 20 minutes and guaranteed that I would lose inches and pounds. This was my kind of exercise plan!

So after chasing it down on e-Bay, I finally received my new exercise equipment....a plastic bar with a rubber stretchy band and a couple of videos. (I found the VHS video tapes real cheap and we still have a VCR that works.) I went through the instructional video and my first workout on Saturday morning. I was quite surprised that the 20 minute workout seemed to get me charged up for the day. I had a few aches on Sunday morning, but nothing like what I have experienced with other workouts. With the family and some friends over, I didn't have the time or privacy to do it yesterday. But today, I did it first thing this morning and again have been pleased with the energy and endurance I've had today. For what I paid for it, this system is worth the money already! I did take my measurements before I started, so we will see what happens with it in one week. If I see the results that it promises, maybe I will post some before and after pictures.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with sunflower, chia, and pepita seeds, almonds and pecans, dates, coconut flakes, an apple and a banana with almond milk. I drizzled about a teaspoon of agave nectar over it too.
Lunch: Salad with romaine lettuce, celery, carrots, an avocado, and an orange with lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Snack: Handful of cashews.
Supper: A little bit of zucchini spaghetti with alfredo sauce. I really wasn't as hungry as I thought I was.

A couple of people have asked me about the alfredo sauce, so here is the recipe. It is my version of a couple of other people's recipes.

1/3 cup macadamia nuts
1/3 cup pine nuts
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1/2 lemon, juiced
1 clove garlic
1/2 cup water
Dash of nutmeg
Dash of white pepper
Celtic sea salt

Throw everything into a blender and blend until creamy and smooth.

This makes more than enough for 2 servings. My husband even liked it and finished it off tonight. It can be used over spiralized zucchini for spaghetti or as a dipping sauce for other veggies.

Weekend Diversions

I have logged another successful weekend. Certain times seem to be a little more challenging to stay raw and weekends definitely rank in the top 3. Having the whole family home plus friends dropping by, makes me become more deliberate in my planning and eating.

Our social life has been really impacted by my raw venture. We no longer go out for coffee, meet for drinks or celebrate events at our favorite restaurants. Right now, with the economy being what it is, no one is complaining.

Saturday night we went to a showing at an art gallery and by the time we got there, the drinks and hors d'oeuvres were gone (or never existed, I'm not sure.) Normally this would have been followed by dinner out or drinks at a local hot spot. Instead we decided to drop in at our daughter's work place unannounced to say hi. She was working the night shift in labor and delivery at a local hospital. Hey! We know how to party!

All went well until we sat down to watch a rather somber movie (Sophie's Choice) on Sunday night. I am not sure if it was just the movie-watching habit to eat popcorn, or if it was wanting comfort food to numb what I knew was going to be an emotional reaction to the movie, but for the first time in 37 days, I had some fierce cravings. I finally settled on some power balls.

So now I realize that the power balls have become my new comfort food. I am not opposed to eating them if they curb real cravings, but to use them so often is not a good sign. Yes, they are keeping me raw, but they are very high in fat and I suspect they are slowing down my weight loss. I am going to pay attention to this situation and think about what I need to do or eat to satisfy myself without using these things as a crutch. Maybe time alone will sort that out. I have read that as a raw foodist, your tastes and appetite will evolve to a much better diet. I will look forward to that, but for now, I need to notice what is going on with me when these urges strike.

On Saturday I ate:

Breakfast: Some leftover mushroom stems and "cheese" sauce from Friday night.

Lunch: Nori rolls....avocado with lemon juice and sea salt, with a mixture of chopped carrots, red bell pepper, sprouts, and shallots; all rolled into a couple of sheets of nori seaweed and cut into sushi-like pieces.

Snack: a handful of cashews.

Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with tomato sauce, celery and olives.

Dessert: Apple with almond butter.

On Sunday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with a pear, an apple, 2 bananas, and Swiss chard.

Lunch: Rest of the green smoothie.

Supper: Salad with romaine, spinach, celery, carrots, capers, black olives, jicama, avocado, with lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt.

Craving Killer: Power balls.

Old Habits

It amazes me just how fast we can return to old habits! They can creep up and grab you when you aren't looking and drag you down before you know what hit you.

I received some bad/sad news for a couple of days in a row and finally noticed what I was doing each time. On Wednesday, I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when the phone rang and I discovered some disturbing news. There was nothing I could do to change the situation, so I sat and thought about it for a few minutes. Suddenly I realized that I was hungry. So I went to the kitchen, made some power balls and promptly consumed them.

On Thursday, a similar situation occurred and I just made a beeline for the kitchen and whipped up another batch of power balls. It wasn't until I had eaten two of them before I realized what I was doing. I was stuffing my feelings. Again. Being raw hadn't changed that life-long pattern of eating to avoid feeling badly.

In this economy it seems there is bad news everyday and today was no exception. For the third straight day I picked up the phone to hear that someone really close had lost his job. The news was particularly upsetting as this man worked with my husband and the axe had fallen pretty close to home. I sat in shock at this news and noticed the urge to go eat emerge from the depths of my unconscious. As I realized the instantaneous hunger, I also realized how badly I really felt. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and shout, "It's not right! It's not fair! No, you can't do this to someone I care about!" They can and they did, and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

As I dissected my feelings about all this, I began to see how the pattern got set in place when I was very young. I had no control over the events in my life and food became my pacifier any time something happened that made me unhappy. The seeds of a compulsive overeater were set in place at a very young age and they have ruled my life for the better part of 58 years. Knowing this doesn't change anything. The lesson for me out of this is to always be vigilant. Never eat without knowing why I am eating.

As for all those sad feelings, I sat and pondered them for a while and then took the advice of my very wise buddy. I put them on a train and let them go.

On Thursday I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, 2 bananas, 2 oranges and 3 big stalks of Swiss chard.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with 1/2 grapefruit, an orange, an avocado, spinach and spring mix and a dressing of lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Emotional Comfort Food: Power balls.
Supper: Salad with romaine lettuce, red and yellow peppers, leeks and carrots with lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, 2 bananas, a pear, an orange and lots of kale.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: A less than ecstatic attempt at a raw pizza: portobella mushrooms, raw tomato sauce, olives, shallots, and a raw "cheese" made with cashews, nutritional yeast, garlic, lemon juice, sea salt, and water. It needs some work. I will post some pictures of it next time. It looked fabulous.

Final note...today is 5 weeks of 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free.

Time for Variety...Well Maybe

It has occurred to me that I have been eating about the same foods every day with not a lot of variety. Well, it is winter time here and there isn't a whole lot of produce that isn't getting shipped into town from somewhere. So I have been at the mercy of whatever my favorite stores stock.

I do most of my shopping for organic produce at Whole Foods. I love that place! The feng shui just pumps high energy from every corner. It is always clean and the food is beautifully displayed. It is a positive experience even when it is packed with people. Everyone is always so happy, polite and helpful...even the other customers! We seem to form an instant bond with each other that allows us to just ask perfect strangers where to find X. I have struck up some pretty interesting conversations with people I don't know over the oddest things! All in all, it is a very pleasant shopping experience compared to say, Wal*Mart. I believe those good vibes get transferred to the food we eat. You really don't want some angry, underpaid person handling your precious greens!

To anyone going raw I would say get to know the produce people where you shop! By name! This has really paid off for me on many occasions. It is to the point now that when the nice guys who stock the shelves see me coming, they will point out something new (Jerusalem artichokes!) or will let me know they have fresher kale in the back and just go get it for me.

So after perusing several raw cookbooks, I found a recipe for a raw "pizza" that looked good and easy to make. I had lovingly chosen just the right package of 3 beautiful portobella mushrooms for the crust part of these babies. I had perfected a tomato sauce that would be just right for this venture and had thrown an extra packet of sun-dried tomatoes into the shopping cart. Every ingredient was chosen with such care. After all, it has been at least 6 weeks since I have had real pizza...I wanted this to be a special moment with my portobellas. I had romantic notions of a red checkered tablecloth with a candle dripping wax down a Chianti bottle. Violin music played in the background as I savored the first bite of my creation. When I returned home from the store I tucked the special stash into the far reaches of the refrigerator and hid them with huge bunches of spinach, kale, chard and red bibb lettuce.

I was looking forward to my new venture in raw food production (it isn't "cooking") all day today, but when I went to find my portobellas they were gone! I ravaged the fridge and they were no where to be found. A short investigation revealed that they had been ruthlessly chopped up, thrown into some dish with smoked sausage, and had the precious life cooked right out of them! I secretly called my daughter a murderer and vowed to get even.

So to try something new, I came up with a less than happy spinach soup. I will try to satisfy my pizza urges another day.

Here's today's menu:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with an apple, a pear, 2 bananas, a fistful of kale and a dash of cinnamon.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with spinach, spring mix, 1/2 grapefruit, 2 oranges, an avocado, a few raisins, some sunflower seeds and a dressing of lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Snack: Some power ball goo.
Supper: A soup of spinach, carrots, almond milk, and garlic, all blended. I chopped up some red and orange peppers, a Jerusalem artichoke and a couple of small carrots to throw in for some crunch.

Detox Symptoms

I woke up this morning feeling really run down. My muscles and joints were aching and I was tired from not being able to sleep from all the pain. I thought my massage therapist might have out done herself yesterday! I finally decided that perhaps I was suffering from a whole lot of detoxification going on throughout my body. So I made the decision to drink a lot of water and fluids today and that seemed to turn things around fairly quickly. By this afternoon I was in high gear with no pain at all.

Here's what I had today:
Breakfast: Ruby Red Ambrosia: a full quart of a juicy elixir of carrots, celery, apple, lemon, ginger root, cucumber and beet.
Lunch: Power balls
Supper: Salad with zucchini, jicama, sprouts, tomatoes, shallots, and olives with a little lemon juice.

Day 31

I celebrated my 30 days of success with a massage today. I can't say I feel exactly wonderful right now though. I feel like I have a low grade temperature and a little bit of a sore throat. I have cancelled an appointment for tomorrow and am going to get to bed.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Muesli with sunflower, chia and pumpkin seeds, pecans, goji berries, raisins, dates, an apple and a banana with almond milk.
Supper: Mediterranean Salad with spinach, spring mix, fennel, tomatoes, onion, capers, olives, avocado, pine nuts and basil with lemon juice, Celtic sea salt and olive oil.

Day 30 & Beyond

My appetite seems to be decreasing! I have had several meals over the past week where I simply could not eat everything I had prepared for myself. I have heard that this happens on a raw diet, but I didn't really think it would happen to me. But it has and this is really good news. I am an overeater from way back and no diet has ever been very satisfying to me because I always felt like I wanted more to eat. Portion control has eluded me since I was a child, so I really like feeling full without eating so much.

On Saturday I didn't feel like eating much. I really only had 2 meals and a snack. Sunday morning I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat until 6:30 pm. It was sort of an unplanned fast. But I felt fine and went to bed Sunday night feeling considerably lighter.

On Saturday I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with pecans, chia, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, cranberries, dates, raisins, an apple and a banana with almond milk.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with grapefruit, 2 oranges, avocado, spinach and arugula with lemon juice, agave nectar, water and olive oil dressing.
Snack: The rest of the dehydrated veggie chips. Definitely not eating those again!

Sunday I fasted until 6:30 pm and then had:
Supper: Small salad with spinach, spring mix, radiccino, celery, and tomato with lemon juice and olive oil.
Snack: Guacamole with celery and baby carrots.