Healing All Around

Last night my dear friends, Diana and Risa, rescued me from my depression by having a raw potluck at Diana's home. It was a wonderful effort that I so appreciated. I go back more than a decade with both of them, so it was easy conversation and lots of raw food. A few other guests were also present and we had such a good time that I really didn't want to come home. My two friends had decided that it would be good for us to do this on a monthly basis and rotate the hostessing duties going forward. This decision came right about the time Joseph was diagnosed with cancer, so I really didn't have much of a part in planning the first event other than to say "great idea...run with it!" I threw my hat over the wall and said I would host the next one in January. I have no idea how things will be with my husband by then, but it would be nice to have friends over for New Year's.

Last night's fare included zucchini and spaghetti squash noodles with pesto sauce, collard burritos with a cheesy sauce, kale chips, salsa, crudites with a sunflower seed pate, a kale salad, pomegranate pudding, and raw pumpkin pie with a whipped topping. It was all so good that even the non-raw foodists in the bunch seemed to really enjoy it.

I was so happy to have this diversion as it has been really difficult to maintain a very positive outlook since my husband's cancer diagnosis. This weekend he decided to review the Landmark Forum, an adult educational seminar, to help get himself into a better frame of mind before starting chemotherapy tomorrow. I stayed home so I could process massive amounts of produce through the blender and juicer for him to take with him for the weekend. Shopping and chopping vegetables have been the hallmarks of my weekend until last night. The social activity was very welcome.

Joseph has been struggling with the 100% raw diet. When I realize what he instantly changed in his dietary intake, it is a wonder he has been able to function! He has had caffeine withdrawal, lots of emotional detoxing, all kinds of physical sensations, and cravings galore. The poor man has really given it his best and has finally decided that he needs to go back to a transitional diet. I agree, but we are still trying to sort out just what he needs to be eating right now. We have added some fish and chicken back into his fare along with brown rice, quinoa, lentils and some beans. I believe that having these cooked foods will make things much easier for him. He has already given up coffee, processed starches, refined sugars, all red meat, eggs, and dairy. That is a huge change already.

Last night Diana's mother gave me a well-worn copy of A Cancer Therapy by Max Gerson, M.D. I have been listening to tapes about his treatments and reading his daughter Charlotte's book Healing, The Gerson Way. Much of it seems really radical, especially to someone coming from a standard American diet, but to me, a lot of it seems quite logical. What Joseph has implemented that the book completely supports is juicing. In the interest of not busting the budget completely, we have limited the juices to one quart a day for each of us. It is having a very positive effect on me and I know that at some level, it is healing Joseph. We just don't have the evidence for it yet.

Another healing modality that we have brought back into our lives is the work that Aniel Love and Fred Payne do. Both of these energy workers have been instrumental in restoring complete health and vitality back to Joseph. Again, we don't have the evidence of it, but it is making a huge difference in his daily outlook.

Cancer seems to demand that it's victims take a long, hard look at themselves and how they have been living their lives. It goes from the inside out and back again. We have had so many people tell us of various things to do that it is hard to research every one of them. But the consistent theme among them all is having a positive mental outlook. At this point I can report that we are doing everything we can. I pray it is enough.

The Wrecking Ball

Dear Friends and Family,

Many of you will be reading this for the first time and wondering how you didn't know about my new lifestyle. It isn't that I was trying to keep it secret as much as it was to spare you from thinking that "this is Karen's latest diet scheme." On the sidebar you will see my successes with eating a raw, vegan diet. Despite struggling from time to time to maintain this new way of eating and healing my body, what hasn't wavered is how my health has continued to improve. My husband has seen this progress and has tried to go raw himself, with mixed results.

But, if you didn't know before, you are hearing it now because three weeks ago a wrecking ball hit our lives and changed it forever. We have discovered that my Beloved's life is in jeopardy. We have learned that he not only has cancer, but that his is an extremely rare kind and difficult to treat. Right now we are in New York City with appointments at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center littering our calendars. Our local doctors have referred us here because so little is known about this particular type of cancer. In fact, there are less than 500 known cases! There are very few doctors who have even seen this type of cancer before, and even fewer who have successfully treated it. One who has, is here in New York City...the closest to our home.

I now realize that everything I have done to improve my own health has only been a practice run for the real race. It is no longer about me...it is about saving my husband's life. The volume has been turned up on the loud speaker, I have now become savvy in medical terminology, and the reading list has grown to include medical publications. There is a stack of information that now consumes my every waking moment. What I once considered to be an "extreme" raw diet is being reviewed for anything that can help my husband fight this battle. The swords are drawn, the shields are ready and the juicer is being put to the test! You can be sure that my husband's nutritional intake during this ordeal will be organic, vegan, and raw as much as possible.

I don't expect the medical community to approve of our approach to his condition, but I don't approve of theirs either! Somehow we are going to have to blaze some new trails if he is to survive. We don't know exactly how we are going to manage his treatment yet, but suggestions and advice are pouring into my inbox at an alarming rate. We clearly have a lot of support from our community!

So, for those of you who have been following this blog, I will say to you that things are going to take a sharp left turn here. I am no longer going to be so casual about how I talk about being raw. This is going to be hard-core from now on. For the rest of you, I am asking for your support...Joseph's life is on the line.

Matt & Angela

This past Monday evening I had the rare privilege of meeting two of my favorite raw food gurus: Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes-Monarch. I have followed the both of them for almost 2 years now and seeing them in the flesh felt to me like seeing old friends again. Of course, they didn't exactly have the same reaction! I knew them...shouldn't they know me?!!!

When I first started talking about going raw, my daughter bought Matt's book Raw Spirit for me. She picked his book because he talked so much about what it was like getting started. The book really prepared me for my journey by letting me know a lot of what I later experienced. I also liked Matt's theory that as long as you are eating raw, your body will eventually find its own balance and you will eat less.

Shortly after reading Matt's book and deciding to move forward in search of other raw foodies who had achieved what I wanted to do....namely lose weight, I found Angela Stokes' blog. I immediately became a huge fan of hers. I loved her down-to-earth approach and the fact that she published what she ate every single day. She has written several books that I have found extremely helpful, namely her latest, Raw Emotions.

When I first started following Matt and Angela, I wondered why Angela kept talking about Matt. Finally I realized that she and Matt were in a relationship. Well now they are newlyweds and touring the United States together...sharing their own experiences and opinions on the raw food lifestyle.

These two are truly hard-core raw foodists. They have years of experience being raw and are relentless in their pursuit of perfect health. While I am not ready for everything they do, I have come a long way because of them. I am very grateful to have had a chance to meet them and speak with them personally. I came away from the evening with the happy feeling that I am on the right path and that I am not alone. Even my husband was inspired by them and he is not an easy sale!

I'm Baaaaa---aack!

As some of my more gracious friends have pointed out to me, I have really been a slacker on my blog lately...and they are absolutely right. But, I assure you, dear ones, that I am alive, well, and still eating raw foods.

This past summer posed new challenges that had me straying away from my resolve to be 100% raw. At times I dipped down to 50-75% but repeatedly, I renewed my efforts to get back to 100%. There was some strong motivation as I did not feel as well physically or mentally. I was really irritated to see the pounds that had so stubbornly departed my body, come racing back to join the rest of their undesirable crowd. That's where I drew the line. I have not come this far to give up or give in to my middle age blubber.

So, what have I learned while I have been dabbling in the dark arts of SAD cuisine?

1) That see-sawing back and forth between being 100% raw and only half raw is very rough on the body. I can't count the number of times I suffered indigestion, heartburn, constipation and other unpleasantries from eating things I should not have.

2) It is very easy to talk about eating raw when I am 100%. Not so easy when I have my downfalls. No one wants to be a public failure.

I am sure there are other things I could mention, but in the interest of not stalling any longer, I'll leave it at that.

Summer Fun, Redefined

Summers in Ohio are supposed to be about fun, travel, amusement parks and the like. However I have found myself on a roller coaster ride that I didn't plan to be on for the past 6 weeks. I have been traveling back and forth across several states in an attempt to get my daughter settled into a comfortable living arrangement for college this fall. After Plan A came to a surprise ending, Plan B took a nosedive, and Plans C, D, and E crashed and burned, we finally found what we thought would be a workable situation for her. Not so. Once she was finally moved into her new home, with her cats, and most of her worldly possessions, she realized just how awful the situation was and how homesick she was. Other circumstances became contributing factors to her misery and we are now planning another trip to bring her back home. She will go back to the college she had been attending, so at least something is still happening with her education.

All this has been a constant strain on my emotional and physical well-being. Trying to stay raw while traveling is difficult enough, but doing it from a hotel room is another story. It doesn't help when everyone else really just wants to sit down in a restaurant for every meal. I don't know how Angela Stokes and Matt Monarch carry on with their nomadic lifestyle, but it certainly is not for me!

I did the best I could with all this turmoil to maintain a healthy raw diet. I spent long hours preparing foods to pack into a cooler on each and every one of these trips. I hauled ice every day down hotel corridors and made countless trips to grocery stores for still more ice and perishables along the way. I definitely built up some strong arm muscles hauling that cooler around!

In the end, I did succumb to several cooked food meals, which led to cravings for more cooked food. Every time I came home, I got myself back on track until the cravings took over again. So it has turned into a real challenge to stay raw.

One thing I want to mention here is that while I believe the Rainbow Green Live-Food Cuisine is the ultimate food plan, I felt like I was walking a tightrope trying to maintain it during all this chaos. While I would really like to make this a permanent change, I have to admit that I am going to use it as a guide rather than a strict rule. Frankly, I have not been as happy as I was when I was following my own plan. My blood sugars are back under control, so I am going to cautiously add fruits back into my daily intake. Clearly I will need to find a new balance but as long as I continue eating raw, I know my health is improving and that is the real goal.

You will notice that I have posted my results over on the side bar for all to see. For those of you who have written me with your concerns about my diet, I hope that now you will understand some of the benefits that I have enjoyed since embarking on my raw journey. This really does work!

Photos: Top: The Mantis at Cedar Point, Sandusky, Ohio. Bottom: The Tightrope Walker, oil painting by Everett Shinn.

A Complete 180

Today was my 180th day of being a raw vegan! I confess that not every one of those days was 100% raw, but darn close. I would say it averages out to be 99.998% raw in all that time. The only times I wasn't completely raw was when I was away from home and had no other choices. But my commitment remains strong.

I have had several people tell me that they are worried about me. This completely baffles me as there has been such a radical improvement in my body, soul and mind since starting down this organic garden path. I have a short list of some of the ailments and conditions that used to plague my health....in a day or so I am going to post them on the side bar for all to see. Hopefully it will quell any doubts or concerns.

But for now I will happily tell you that I have dropped 32 lbs. during this time! That is about 1 and 1/4 lb. per week. A healthy loss...nothing radical at all. Since attempting to go raw back in November, I have shaved off a total of 42 lbs. Not bad, if I do say so myself!

I feel like I have completely turned my life around with this decision...not an easy thing to do for anyone, but the rewards have been well worth it. I will stay this course and see where it takes me next.

Back to Business

I have done enough dawdling this summer....it's time to get back to blogging!

My Rainbow Green Live-Food Cuisine plan has been remarkably satisfying. I have not been hungry and have found lots of new recipes that keep things interesting. My eyes are brighter, my skin is clearer, my blood sugars are down and I have dropped a few more pounds. My energy seems to be increasing too. I am very happy with this plan.

I have also had a few strangers come up to me and rave about my skin! One woman in the grocery store insisted that I tell her what creams I use on my skin at night. She kept asking me if I had tried various products. She would not believe me when I told her that being a raw vegan gave me my glow. She followed me around the grocery store and kept asking me questions about my skin. I finally told her that I occasionally use olive or coconut oil. That seemed to be what finally satisfied her as the last I saw her she was looking over jars of coconut oil!

But it is true, my skin has been noticeably clearer and smoother. The woman was quite shocked to learn that I was 16 years older than her! She thought I was 10 years younger than her. You just can't argue with results like that!

My only difficulties with the plan occurred on a recent trip to another city for 4 days. Even though I took lots of food along and located a couple of raw vegan restaurants in the area, I still was not able to maintain the program the way I wanted. I ran out of some things and had no place or time to prepare anything else. One of the restaurants closed early and another was way out of the way, so I never got to either of them. It was very frustrating trying to find something to eat that was not just an iceberg lettuce salad. I finally succumbed to my hunger and ordered regular vegetarian meals from the local restaurants. I was not very happy about the limited choices.

But it was not a problem going back to the plan. In fact, it was a welcome relief to return to what really makes me feel good. My first couple of days back on the plan had me detoxing like a mad woman, but I feel so much better now. I do believe I can stick with this program for the long haul. And that is a very good thing!

Decision Time

As I approach the six-month mark on my raw food journey, I have started to evaluate my progress once again. While I have been very happy with my plan, I have to acknowledge other people are reporting much better results in the same amount of time. While I generally don't compare myself to others, it has been discouraging to realize that many on this path are achieving much more dramatic results. There are some other hard facts that I do need to address that are pushing me to make some changes.

• I have not dropped as much weight as I had expected or hoped.
• My energy levels still are not as consistently high as I would like.
• My blood sugars have been slowly creeping higher.

While I could live with my slow progress over the first two issues, I can not ignore the last one. To date, I am the only person in my family who has not been diagnosed with diabetes and I fully intend to maintain that status. My doctor is not concerned at this point, but my fasting blood sugars have crept into the 110-120 range....up from 90-100 last November.

Before leaving on vacation, I was not aware of my blood sugar situation and had fully intended to try Dr. Doug Graham's 80-10-10 diet when I came home. Those who use his plan eat only fruits, which gives one 80% carbohydrates, 10% protein, and 10% fats. I had tried this plan once before a couple of years ago and dropped 6 lbs. in the first few days, and nothing again for the remaining 2 weeks. During this time, I was badgered constantly by a "coach" about eating more calories. The coaching became rather abusive and I struggled to eat 1200 calories a day. I dropped the program and immediately gained all the weight back in short order.

This time I thought that reading the doctor's book and getting the facts might change the outcome. Again, I saw others having great success with this program and figured I must have been doing something wrong. Reading the book and following it properly should bring a much faster weight loss.

But now that I have tuned into the blood sugar concern, I am reluctant to eat only fruits. Dr. Graham blames excess fat in the diet for diabetes and claims that an all-fruit diet will lower blood sugars to normal levels. I am not convinced. I also know that the diet is so very restrictive. It certainly can not be maintained by average humans for indefinite periods of time. While my plan isn't a rapid weight loss plan, I have been able to maintain it for a long period of time.

So the question remained as to what to do. Should I just do my own plan and cut down or eliminate the fruit? Move to low-glycemic fruits only? Find another solution?

A couple of months ago I saw Dr. Gabriel Cousens' documentary Simply Raw: Reversing Diabetes in 30 Days. The subjects of the film took weight off quickly as well as lowered their blood sugars and medications. The program restricts fruit in the first phase of his plan and then only adds back low-glycemic fruits for a maintenance plan. He advocates using high-glycemic fruits only occasionally. Dr. Cousens' plan also encourages a lot of healthy greens, nuts and seeds. It is much closer to what I have been doing but without all the fruit.

This approach seems to fit with what I deem to be good common sense and I have decided to transition over to it. In just the first couple of days of cutting back on the amount of fruits I have been eating, my blood sugars have already started to drop. But things are certainly out of synch with me right now as I have had incredible cravings. Still I am going to try this plan and see how it goes over the next couple of months. I know that I can always return to my own plan and just reduce the fruit if I need to, but if I see good progress, I will be sticking with Dr. Cousens.

I am going to halt my daily food reports at this point. Some of the recipes I will be using from now on are from Dr. Cousens and are more complex. It wouldn't be appropriate to list them here. However, if anyone has questions or comments about what I am doing, feel free to drop me a message at gracefulgarden@insight.rr.com. I would love to hear what other people have to say about this too...especially if you have done this program.

Be well!

More Detox - Mood Swings

Just about every raw foodist that I have ever read about or met has raved about how much better they felt in every way...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I have personally experienced a huge change in all these areas. Last year this time, I was extremely depressed and was sure I was about to die. Just switching to a vegan diet made a big difference, but once I began to move towards the raw, vegan diet, my whole outlook began to change to a much more positive view. I generally feel better and am not on any kind of mood-enhancing drugs!

However, I have noticed that as I continue to purge the many toxins polluting my body, that I have occasional mood swings that frequently catch me off guard. They generally range from being absolutely ecstatic to ragingly angry to being rather sad. Not being an especially "moody" person, I have become rather interested in observing these moods as they cross my consciousness.

Now, certainly we all have mood swings, and as all women know, we have more than our fair share....and they aren't all from hormones! But what we do with those moods seem to have an impact on our lives in ways that we might not be aware.

As we detox our bodies, the mind is certainly impacted. Chemicals that have been circulating through our brains might diminish, and as purer blood and oxygen begin to feed and nurture the cells, certain emotions, memories and thoughts begin to emerge. Several people have reported whole new ways of thinking about their lives after they go raw. Others experience a lift of a "brain fog." Some just start to experience their lives in new and different ways. There is a whole rainbow of experiences that others say they have experienced, but most agree that they have gone through some moods in the process.

My personal theory is that as we release toxins from our body and brains, emotions that have been stuffed begin to surface for our review. We could just stuff them back down with more food, or we can start to deal with them. Most people who are overweight have done this stuffing process for a long time to avoid the pain of having to deal with a lot of negative emotions. But if we deal with the emotional pains of the past, we start to get really honest with ourselves about who we really are. We begin to shift our view of life to a much clearer vision.

My personal opinion is that as our world view shifts and changes, and as we get more honest with ourselves, we experience these moods as indicators of emotions we need to pay attention to. Ignoring them could be damaging to our cleansing process as well as burying deep feelings that become issues for us to deal with at a later time. For me, the moods have forced me to deal with issues in my life that I had been ignoring, hoping they would go away or change on their own. The moods have been warning signs that something is happening that I need to pay attention to.

In a society where women's moods are so degraded and dismissed, I have gone along with convention and ignored and/or stuffed my feelings for a very long time. This has cost me my physical and mental health, my intuition, and my natural exuberance for life. I now see my moods as sign posts...showing me what I need to do to lead a healthy, happy life. I will not allow anyone to dismiss or invalidate what I am feeling ever again. There is just too much at stake. I am learning to honor my moods/feelings/emotions in a way that I never have before and my life is the richer for it.

On Monday I ate:

• Breakfast: Nothing...wasn't hungry.
• Lunch: Salad with spinach, celery, red bell pepper, cucumber, tomato, lemon juice and olive oil
• Supper: Corn chowder with fresh corn, red bell pepper, shallots, cashews, garlic, celery.

On Tuesday I ate:

• Breakfast: Muesli with chia and hemp seeds, goji berries, mulberries, almonds, walnuts, lucuma powder, banana apple, and almond milk.
• Lunch: Collard burrito with walnuts, tomatoes, red onion, nama shoyu, chili powder, cumin and collards.
• Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with arugula, celery, grapefruit, clementines, avocado and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar, and olive oil.

Photo note: NO, that is not me. If I had a body like that, I wouldn't be writing this blog! But, doesn't her mood just say it all?!!

The Journey

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars, began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

~From New and Selected Poems by Mary Oliver

Thank you, Laura for sharing this with me. That is exactly how it has been.

Thursday's intake:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana and collards.
• Lunch: Bowl of sauerkraut
• Supper: Collard burritos with walnuts, tomato, onion, Bragg's Aminos, cumin and chili powder.

Friday's intake:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, grapes, banana, spinach and kale.
• Lunch: Collard burrito.
• Supper: Salad of spinach, tomato, celery, carrots, red onion, lemon juice and olive oil.

Saturday's intake:

• Breakfast: Juice of beet, carrot, celery, apple, ginger and lemon.
• Lunch: Salad of cucumber, arame, red bell pepper, red onion, vinegar and olive oil.
• Supper: More of the cucumber salad, guacamole with crudites, and a vegan potato salad (not raw!)

Sunday's intake:

• Breakfast: Muesli with chia seeds, walnuts and almonds, mulberries, goji berries, banana, apple and almond milk.
• Lunch: Collard burrito.
• Supper: Bowl of sauerkraut and kale chips.

Emotional Detox

Imagine this:

A husband and wife are driving across country to their vacation destination. It is a 24 hour drive from their home to a cabin high in the Rocky Mountains. They have been driving since 4 am and it is now 8:15 pm. Both are tired, but want to get as far as they can on the first day of driving. They stop in a city along the way at a restaurant with free internet access, and the husband books a hotel room in a town 260 miles away. The wife feels she has had enough for one day and begs her husband to make the reservation in a closer city. The husband insists that he is awake and alert enough to continue on for several more hours.

As they climb back into their car, the woman snuggles under a blanket and tries to get comfortable for the 4 hour ride into the night. She tells her husband that she feels like she is 7 years old. As she says the words, she wonders why she is saying that. Suddenly memories and emotions from her childhood come rushing back and she is overcome with grief and sorrow. She spends the next couple of hours in the car crying and sobbing while her husband listens attentively.

That is what happened to me on our trip to Colorado. Out of the blue, a tragic memory was brought back to life with the full array of emotions. This was not a memory I had forgotten or suppressed. It had always been very clear to me what had happened and why, but at the time I was never able to feel or express the sadness, grief, and insecurity it brought to my young life. Not once in my entire life had I ever felt the pain of that event until a couple of weeks ago. It was overwhelming and it was like it was happening all over again in that moment. The images in my mind were vivid and the feelings were intense.

Such has been my experience of emotional detoxing. Things pop up out of thin air and I become an emotional basket case on the spot. Usually it is triggered by something being said or done in the moment that is similar to the original event that caused the feelings. So far there has been little I can do to turn off the emotions when they surface, or to resurrect them later when I can deal with them privately. I have had to leave grocery stores after glancing at certain foods my mother used to buy during holidays. I will go to my car and have a good cry before returning to my shopping. The fact that my mother has been gone for almost two years now, and I have grieved extensively for her, seems to make no difference when these hidden emotions decide to emerge.

I will say that despite the intensity of the feelings that arise, they are manageable now, where they might not have been at the time they were impressed upon me. The duration of the discharging process seems to vary with the time, place, conditions and intensity of the feelings. Having a sympathetic listener and plenty of time in the car that night allowed me to fully explore the event and the full range of emotions that it caused, and I took full advantage of the situation to just "let it all hang out." Other times I have retreated from public places for a minute or two and just let out as much as I could in the moment before composing myself and returning to my activities.

Like many overweight people, I have stuffed a multitude of feelings over the years. A less than happy childhood has given me a lifetime of opportunity to spend time on a psychologist's couch. But I find it particularly interesting that 3 1/2 years of therapy, 4 years of re-evaluation counseling, decades of introspection and self-analysis, stacks of self-help books, and countless workshops and seminars, have not brought these feelings to the surface the way that eating raw has done. I am absolutely convinced that this is truly healing me...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Eating raw, living foods allows the body to heal and consequently allows every other dimension of a being to heal.

There are various theories as to just how eating raw foods allows one to detox emotional baggage, and I won't share my personal theory here right now. But rest assured that eating raw will allow you to discharge every toxin in your entire being. True health and a connection with your divine self is possible!

On Tuesday I ate:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with banana, orange, spinach and collards.
• Lunch: Zucchini spaghetti with a sauce of tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic and onion powders, red bell pepper and vinegar.
• Supper: Romaine lettuce wraps with avocado, tomato, onion, lemon juice, dulse, and a cucumber, tomato and onion salad with olive oil and vinegar.

On Wednesday I ate:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie of apple, banana, strawberries, and romaine lettuce.
• Lunch: Bowl of sauerkraut.
• Supper: Collard burrito with walnuts, onion, tomato, Bragg's Aminos, cumin and chili powder, and the rest of the cucumber, tomato and onion salad with olive oil and vinegar.
• Snack: A few pieces of Shawna Stursa's raw chocolate.

So Happy To Be Home!

Well, I am back from vacation. It has taken me a little while to get back to writing here...so many other priorities were begging for attention. It was a relatively good trip, and while I did stray from my 100% raw plan, I think I did very well considering the circumstances.

Despite the gang of carnivores that surrounded me high in the Rockies, I maintained my raw diet until the very end when the temptation to eat something else finally overtook me. I was completely overwhelmed every time I opened the refrigerator door in our cabin and had to pull my greens out from between the cases of beer, margarita mix, queso dips, meat, cheese, and everything else I no longer eat. It was pretty challenging. Out of a group of 10, I was the only one who had any interest in eating a healthy meal. I made big salads every night as my contribution to the evening meals, and everyone seemed to appreciate them, but maybe they were just being polite. Nevertheless, I pursued my own path the best I could and dropped another 5 lbs. in the process.

Once again, the importance of staying focused on what I am doing for my own health has been proven to me. The minute I started eyeing something the rest of the group was eating, my downfall began. The desire to fit in and be like everyone else is a powerful rip tide. Just like the whitewater rafters on the Poudre River, it was an illusion thinking I would have any control over my situation once I got into the raft with the rest of the group. Fortunately I only dipped a toe into the river and didn't attempt the full ride. My occasional bites of junk foods only confirmed my conviction to maintain the raw course.

I will get back to posting my meals in the days to come. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am back and will be sharing some fresh insights with you in the near future. In the meantime, enjoy a little bit of the Poudre River Canyon in the Rocky Mountains.

Photos from top:

1) Someone who is so happy to see me home again.

2) View of one of many peaks along the Poudre Canyon Highway.

3) The raging Poudre River near The Narrows.

4) Cache la Poudre River.

5) Our cabin.

6) View from the back of our cabin.

Colorado Bound

All my bags are packed....along with 4 quarts of green smoothies, my VitaMix and half my kitchen! My husband and I are headed to the Rocky Mountains for vacation. We have a cabin way up in the mountains waiting for us, along with a few friends.

I have spent the last couple of days planning, shopping and preparing for this. We will make a final stop Sunday afternoon to stock up on produce, but for the most part I am prepared to sit and watch everyone eat freshly caught trout while I munch on my greens. This is going to be a real test of my commitment. I will not have access to a my blog, e-mail, or a phone while we are there. It will be up to me to maintain my resolve.

Forgive me if I don't post again for a while. I'll be back soon enough with some great pictures and a further discussion of detox symptoms.

Detox Symptoms - The Real Story

Several people have commented to me that they would like to go raw, but simply can't deal with the detox symptoms. I find this to be an odd statement but have refrained from any blunt, truthful remarks like, "Would you rather just keep abusing your body than take a little pain?!!" Actually, I do understand. It takes a strong commitment to work through all the detox that a lifetime of abuse can bring.

But a lot of folks have indicated that they think the only kind of detoxification symptoms that one gets on a raw food diet is diarrhea. Perhaps that is the only thing they have experienced and quickly reverted back to a SAD diet to make the misery go away as quickly as they could. Chickens! You should stick with a raw food diet and experience the full palette of irritations that can come as the body throws out the junk we have been stuffing into it all these years!

Having eaten a 100% raw vegan diet now for 4 months, 1 week and 4 days now, I feel somewhat qualified to speak about the many and varied ways the body tries to cleanse itself of the toxins, poisons, and crap that the typical person ingests in a lifetime. While none of these are particularly pleasant, I will say that once a bout of detox has completed in my body, I feel so much better. But I am a little more hesitant to shout "Bring it on! It's all good!" anymore.

On Sunday, Andy Reed told me that a good rule of thumb is that a month of eating raw will equal a year of not eating raw. Given the number of years I have been on the planet and not been eating as well as I could, I figure there are a few years of detox ahead of me yet. Here is a short list of some of the things I have already experienced:

• Acne
• Hives
• Rashes
• Vomiting
• Coughing
• Excessive earwax
• Sneezing
• Runny nose
• Diarrhea
• Headaches
• Joint aches
• Muscle aches
• Fatigue
• Mood swings
• Emotional breakdowns

Each of these symptoms has presented with numerous variations that have frequently left me wondering if something was seriously wrong. But the telltale sign that it is detox is that the condition will come and go in a short period of time.

One morning I woke up early with a sudden, serious cough. It became quite intense and I couldn't stop coughing. As it was coming from deep in my lungs, I began to wonder if I had whooping cough or some form of pneumonia. I used to get pneumonia once or twice a year and remember the horrible feeling of not being able to breathe. After about 2 hours of non-stop coughing, I suddenly choked up 2 large, disgusting, brown balls of yuk from the bottom of my lungs! The episode was over and it has not happened since.

I have never been a smoker so I have no idea what this was or why this stuff was in my lungs. But I have been able to breathe better ever since!

I have now come to regard these kinds of things as just part of a process that will likely continue for the next year or two as my body lets go of a long time build-up of toxins. I should also mention that each and every one of the symptoms listed above could have it's own discussion! Especially the last two...mood swings and emotional breakdowns. Topics for another time.

On Monday I had:

• Breakfast: Muesli with chia, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, walnuts and almonds, raisins, coconut flakes, apple and banana with almond milk.
• Lunch: Power balls.
• Supper: Kale salad with red bell pepper, pine nuts, lemon juice and olive oil.

On Tuesday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana and Swiss chard.
• Lunch: Kale salad with bok choy, sprouts, celery, carrots, avocado, black olives and a dressing of lime juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.
• Supper: A salad with escarole, bok choy, celery, sprouts, parsley and a dressing of apple cider vinegar and olive oil.

Consciously Alive!

The Raw Food Day Conference in Columbus was a big hit today with about 25 raw vegan enthusiasts attending. Joel Odhner, Andy Reed and Shawna Stursa put on this event for the community and really brought a new level of raw excitement to town. The combined knowledge of these 3 enlightened beings could have filled a book! I cannot begin to describe the energy and wisdom they shared this afternoon. It was a privilege to be there and to help make this event happen.

Joel's personal story and his culinary expertise were most compelling. His honesty, integrity and talent shone through like the celebrity stars that he serves. I am very proud to know this man and deeply appreciated the opportunity to meet him.

Andy is a walking encyclopedia of wild foods, ancient healing arts and body science. He exudes so much fun and joy that I could actually see his energetic body glowing 2 feet from his physical body! I would happily travel to Bloomington, Indiana to learn wild foraging from this man. His travels, experiences, and studies make him a teacher I want to follow.

Shawna is our local raw visionary and holds the torch high for all of Central Ohio. She has studied with Dr. Gabriel Cousens and can barely contain herself on the topic of healing our bodies through raw foods. She is an expert on superfoods and an accomplished chocolatier. She shared her decadent raw chocolate desserts with us today and it was like tasting a little piece of heaven!

Needless to say, my admiration and respect for these 3 raw food educators is profound. I gained so much new knowledge and information that I haven't even begun to process it all yet. I am still basking in the glow of these raw-k stars!

But the afternoon was filled with more than what The Amazing Trio brought to the table.

Michael Cohen started us off with kirtan chanting. I have experienced his special brand of music before and it really creates a sacred space for an event like this one.

The Clintonville Community Market was on hand with a wide variety of raw books. They are one of the co-ops in town and one that we frequent regularly. It was important to discover that they will allow bulk purchases at just about cost. I'll be placing an order this week!

"Kombucha Bob" Munley stopped in to talk about kombucha and it's benefits. I am just beginning to learn about fermented foods and was pleasantly surprised that his home-brewed product tasted pretty good compared to the nasty stuff I tried once before. I will be seeking out a few bottles of his brew very soon.

Lisa Gatto talked about the importance of colon hydrotherapy today too. While I have not made my first appointment with her, she has come highly recommended to me by no less than 5 people I know! Hmmm....must be something to it!

Finally, Portia from Momentum 98, a local health and wellness store, was on hand with a wide variety of products for sale. While I have not shopped the store before, I will absolutely be headed there for my next bag of chia seeds and other hard-to-find items.

This conference really served many purposes for those in attendance. Beyond all the education and information that was presented, the sense of community really took a leap forward. Raw vegans are certainly not the most visable people around town, so getting to know each other allows for lots of support.

Then there was the food! Shawna showed us how she made her chocolate treats, Andy whipped up a wild green smoothie and a watercress salad, but it was Joel who really showed us how it's done! He demonstrated how to make walnut burritos, kale salad, a curry sauce and a chocolate mousse pie. The man really knows his way around a kitchen!

I could go on for another hour about everything that happened today but I think you can appreciate just how excited I was about this conference. I feel so incredibly blessed to have met these stars in the raw food universe. I believe this has become a turning point in my raw journey and I don't even know how. I just recognize the fact that this has been a significant event in my life and I am humbled by it.

On Friday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, orange, banana, and kale.
• Lunch: A burrito made with walnuts, tomatoes, onion, cilantro, Braggs Aminos and collards.
• Supper: Kale salad with tomatoes, red bell peppers, red onions, lemon juice, sea salt and olive oil.

On Saturday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, and spinach.
• Lunch: Another walnut burrito and a little kale salad.
• Supper: More kale salad.
• Snack: A few power balls.

On Sunday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with strawberries, blueberries, banana and spinach.
• Lunch: More green smoothie.
• Supper: Walnut burrito, watercress and kale salads with a little curry sauce and a little chocolate mousse.
• Snack: More kale salad and some seaweed salad made with a variety of seaweeds and a little lemon juice.

Photos from top: 1) Shawna, Joel and Andy. 2) Joel and me. 3) "Kombucha Bob" Munley. 4) Portia.

Consciously Alive!
Living and Raw Foods
Day Conference
Explore the Miraculous Healing Values of Raw and Living Foods in Your Diet

COLUMBUS, OH JUNE 7, 2009, 1:30-7:30
Unity Church, 4211 Maize Rd. www.unitycolumbus.homestead.com

JOIN US!:
Go online to www.rawlifeline.com and click on 2009 Raw Day Conference logo.
Pre-registration $50 individual/$90 couple before May 31. Door price $60/$100.

ENJOY A FULL COURSE RAW VEGAN MEAL
(please bring your own bowl/plate and utensils, limited re-usable plates for sale)

"Nutrition and Consciousness"
Joel Odhner
CEO of www.RawLifeLine.com
Joel is personal chef to many celebrities and is a culinary consultant to Dr.Oz and will share his personal transformation and extensive experience with the Raw and Living Foods lifestyle. Joel's talk will explore the connection between nutrition and our consciousness, and include preparing a consciousness elevating Raw Foods recipe.

"Living Foods for Loving Life"
Shawna Stursa
Livingfoods Educator, www.rawshawna.info
Shawna, aka Moonflower, is a visionary raw foods educator and healer whose diverse education includes extensive raw foods and theological studies with Gabriel Cousens and David Wolfe at the Tree of Life Rejuvenation center ( treeoflife.nu ) . Her talk will discuss the values of raw superfoods and Raw Wild Foods, and include preparation of a Raw Wild Foods recipe

"Ancient healing Raw Food energetics"

Andy Reed, Lac
Wind-River Acupuncture www.centerforwholism.com
Andy has extensive experience in ancient folk-healing practices including healing our bodies with the ancient system of food energetics. In his talk he will discuss simple methods of understanding our personal constitution, including how to overcome our challenges and transform gently and quickly into whole person health using the energetics of Raw Foods.

Community Is Everything!

Last night was the Sharing Circle for the Raw Meetup group. There were only 5 of us there, but we all got to know each other really well. I have probably said it before, but it is well worth saying again: having a raw community around you makes a big difference in how you experience being raw. You realize that you are not the only one eating like this and you have someone who understands what you are experiencing.

Connecting with other raw foodists has made all the difference for me in terms of getting raw and staying that way. I first heard of an all-raw diet back in 1972 but only from a book. In the late 80's I read "Fit for Life" by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond and tried to go raw. I lasted for about 6 weeks eating breakfast and lunch before I caved in to the cooked food world around me. I tried again in 2006 and lasted 10 days at 100% raw. It was very difficult to do when no one around me understood or offered any support.

Then in 2007 I began to look online and found several groups committed to promoting and supporting raw foodists. When I began to talk to others about eating and staying raw, I began to get serious about making this a lifestyle. I joined a couple of groups that weren't quite the support I needed, but offered a lot of helpful advice. I continued to reach out to others and as I did so, it became a much more natural transition to eating 100% raw.

Today my raw community has 4 levels. The first is the "raw gurus" that I follow by reading their books and blogs. The second is a small group of like-minded people that I connect with by daily e-mails. The third is the local meetup group which I am truly cherishing. And the fourth, the most recent, is my husband, who has demonstrated a real commitment to making this a way of life for himself.

So now I am expanding the circle even wider by publishing an e-mail address for you to connect with me directly. You are always free to leave comments as well, but if you would like a personal response, you can reach me here: gracefulgarden@insight.rr.com.

Wednesday's intake was:

• Breakfast: Muesli with walnuts and pecans, chia and sunflower seeds, goji berries, apple, banana and almond milk.
• Lunch: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange and kale.
• Supper: Salad with arugula, bok choy, yellow bell pepper, tomato, celery, red onion and lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt for a dressing.
• Snack: Kale chips.

Thursday's intake was:

• Breakfast: Muesli (same as above).
• Lunch: Cauliflower with nutritional yeast, sea salt, cayenne pepper and garlic powder. (Have tried it raw and dehydrated now and like it better raw.)
• Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with spring mix, pink grapefruit, orange, avocado, celery and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

Energy Surges

The past several days have revealed a new level of energy for me. I have done things that I have not been able to do for a few years now...mow the lawn, walk for 3 miles, be on my feet for longer than 30 minutes! Of course it has all caught up with me now and I am feeling a little tired and sore, but I have been thrilled with my ability to do things again. The idea of being able to participate in life has really pushed me to stay active now. My mother used to say that staying active is what helped her stay young for so long. I think she had it right.

I have also been doing some decluttering of my mother's things. It is hard to think about moving forward with my life with all her worldly possessions weighing me down. It has been an arduous task sorting through her 93 years of stuff...she never threw anything away. A lot of it can be tossed easily, but some of it needs to be gone through very carefully. As the family genealogist, I want to be sure to preserve things that will enrich our family's story.

With all this new activity and the decluttering, it is not surprising that I have dropped another couple of pounds. There is plenty of evidence that exercise helps take off excess weight, but what a lot of people don't understand is how eliminating clutter can help shed the pounds too. Our "stuff" is just another form of stored energy and we feel so much lighter when we let it go. I know I will feel much better when I have completed the distribution of my mother's things. And sorting through it all is just as hard as a good workout!

So here is what I had:

On Sunday:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana and Swiss chard.
• Lunch: Leftover Asian salad with kelp noodles.
• Supper: Mediterranean Salad

On Monday:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with grapes, cherries, apple, and spinach.
• Lunch: A bowl of sauerkraut and a handful of cashews.
• Supper: Avocado, corn, tomato, cilantro, garlic powder, Bragg's Aminos, and dulse all mashed together and rolled into a couple of collard leaves.

On Tuesday:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with apples, grapes, strawberries and collards.
• Lunch: Power balls.
• Supper: Broccoli/Bok Choy Salad
• Snack: Raw "popcorn." That's a half a head of cauliflower rolled in sea salt, cayenne pepper and garlic powder. (I ate it raw, but next time I'm going to try it dehydrated.)

Four Months!

Okay, it is time to show some progress here. This was me 2 years ago almost at my peak weight. I gained another 10 lbs. or so after this was taken.


Here is how I look now. It may be hard to tell from the photos, but I think my face looks a little thinner. My stomach definitely doesn't stick out as much.

It has been 4 months since I went 100% raw! Wow. Even I am impressed. But I do need to put this into the context of what I have done with diets in the past. Typically I could always do 6 months of any kind of weight loss diet and then it would start to fall apart. With one plan, I stuck it out for a year, but there was a significant decline in my compliance after the 6 month point. So I will get really excited with my progress after I have maintained this for over 6 months.

So what have I accomplished? I have let go of 24 lbs. (33 pounds total) and at least 11 inches from specific measuring points on my body. I have gone down 2 sizes in my clothes...from a 24 to a 20. Now by any standard, these are not banner results, but there have been a lot of other changes that have made this well worth the effort...like the lack of a lot of constant pain in my body, more energy, and a significant shift in my overall outlook on life.

But the slow weight loss has been very frustrating. My diet has been easily sustainable, so I haven't fussed over the number on the scales too much. Now I am wondering if I could tighten things up a bit to see if I can get some faster results. Over the next few weeks, I am going to be looking at what steps I can take that won't be so radical that they cause me to swing back the other way and start craving and binging. Baby steps. It will be small changes that I can make easily that won't be too demanding on my regular routine. It is time to modify "My Plan" and see what else I can do.

I have also continued to do my Body Flex but have not been doing it daily. I go for short 20-30 minute walks on the days I skip the Body Flex. I think I can probably do at least 30-40 minutes of the walking and maybe find a more advanced version of the Body Flex. I have also been thinking of going back to my all-time favorite...yoga. Until now, getting up and down off the floor has been too challenging to think about doing it, but now I think I probably could.

On Friday I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange, and spinach.
Lunch: Broccoli/Bok Choy Salad.
Supper: An Asian inspired salad with marinated kelp noodles, baby bok choy, celery, yellow bell pepper, carrots and red onion. The marinade was tamari, extra virgin sesame oil, lemon juice, garlic and ginger root.

On Saturday I had:
Early Morning: Honeydew melon.
Breakfast: Muesli with almonds and walnuts, chia and sunflower seeds, goji berries and dates, apple and banana with almond milk.
Lunch: A small amount of the leftover broccoli/bok choy salad.
Supper: More of the Asian salad with kelp noodles.
Snack: A couple of power balls.

Perspective

It seems to me that if I am losing weight just for the sake of losing weight, something is profoundly amiss. After doing so many different diets off and on over the years, the one thing I have learned is that the body reflects the mind and emotions. If I am emotionally upset and eat to comfort myself, then dieting isn't going to fix the problem. Maybe it will for a while, but if I don't address the emotional issues, the weight just comes right back.

So after trying traditional therapy, Re-evaluation Counseling, Overeaters Anonymous, dozens of self-help, psychology and philosophy books, numerous Landmark Education programs and seminars, practicing yoga with two Indian gurus, delving deeply into a few mainstream religions, as well as New Age faiths, I feel I have finally worked through a lot of the most plaguing issues I have had in this life.

This week I got a new perspective on it all. There haven't been multiple problems, there has been one problem that has had a hundred different tentacles! The problem was a crazy childhood as a result of being raised by adults who never dealt effectively with their own problems. Please understand, I loved my parents very much and miss them everyday, but the two of them were a couple of highly dysfunctional people trying to live their lives around some pretty big problems. I learned at a young age that food equalled love and it brought a lot of comfortable feelings. So untangling all the upset of my childhood has taken me a long time. For years I had a love/hate relationship with my mother that was a constant roller coaster ride of emotions. But in the end, I finally realized that my mother had been dealing with the hand she was dealt, just the same as my grandmother had!

I finally came to understand how I got so screwed up, but it wasn't until I cared for my mother in her final years that I was able to forgive her and ask for forgiveness. Our relationship was finally healed and then she died. I am now left to clean up the rest of the mess. It looks like 33 boxes of her stuff in my garage and another 20 or so in my basement. Once her possessions are dealt with, then I will be free to live my life and will have no more excuses for abusing my body with food.

Thankfully, I think I have learned something through all this. I have worked through a lot of the painful memories and learned that I don't have to binge on SAD foods to comfort or nurture myself. I know that a living foods diet of mainly fruits and vegetables will restore my health, my sanity and my body.

I bless the path that brought me here.

On Wednesday I ate:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, orange, banana, and spinach.
• Lunch: Salad of escarole, mustard greens, orange bell pepper, celery, mung bean sprouts, and a dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.
• Supper: Corn chowder with fresh sweet corn, cashews, garlic, green onion, carrots, and celery.

On Thursday I ate:

• Breakfast: Power balls.
• Lunch: Salad with spring mix, spinach, carrots, celery, mushrooms, balsamic vinegar and olive oil.
• Supper: Lettuce wraps with romaine lettuce, avocado, green onion, orange bell pepper, cilantro, dulse, tomato and garlic powder.
• Snack: A bowlful of sauerkraut.

100th Monkey

According to Ken Keyes Jr.'s , Hundredth Monkey theory, social and cultural change can happen on a universal scale once the "100th monkey" has learned something new.

I have personally observed this and seen efforts by gurus and educators to cause this reaction. I remember hearing a long time ago that it was the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's goal to have one million people doing Transcendental Meditation. He did manage to reach the 5 million mark and far more people are meditating today than 20 or 30 years ago. I don't know what his true purpose for this was or if it was achieved or not.

None the less, I have my own theory. Instead of 100 monkeys all learning to pick sweet potatoes out of the sand and wash them before eating, I think my having reached over 100 days of eating 100% raw has had a fundamental shift on my friends and family. My husband is definitely striving towards a raw, vegan diet and my daughter cooked a vegan meal last night for herself. Other friends have been reporting that they are much more aware of what they are eating now too. Some have eliminated meat, others are eating lots more fresh fruits and vegetables, one has given up coffee, and another has had conversations with her family about going vegetarian.

If I have had any influence on these people, I am very happy about it! If I can make that kind of difference for the people in my life that I love, then I am truly humbled. If what I am doing helps someone else eat a healthier diet, then I am thrilled.

Maybe if enough of us continue to eat healthier foods, then someday maybe a lot more people will eat fresh organic produce and reclaim their health. Maybe we can heal ourselves and the planet. If one person can make a difference in the lives of others like this, just think of what else we can do!

On Monday I had:

• Breakfast: Muesli with cashews, pecans, sunflower and chia seeds, coconut flakes, goji berries, apple and banana with almond milk.
• Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with arugula, mache, oranges, avocado and the usual dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.
• Supper: A salad of chopped bok choy, tomatoes, celery, fennel, red bell pepper with balsamic vinegar and olive oil.

On Tuesday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, mint, and spinach.
• Lunch: Leftover salad from Monday night.
• Supper: A salad of cucumbers, red onion, red bell pepper, arame, Celtic sea salt, balsamic vinegar and olive oil.
• Snack: A small handful of cashews.

Photos: Top: Gelada monkeys of Ethiopia, courtesy of National Geographic. Bottom: Cucumber-Arame Salad, adapted from Kevin Gianni' recipe.

Crazy Sexy Cancer

• 
  My husband and I went to see a showing of Crazy Sexy Cancer this afternoon. It is a movie about Kris Carr and her journey to a healthy life after being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It was powerful. It was moving. But more importantly, it gave me a new appreciation for my life and my health. Once again I have been brought back to a place of realizing just how precious life is.
  
  My husband and I went to a vegetarian restaurant afterwards and as I sat there across from him, I realized just how blessed our lives are. Neither one of us has cancer or any other serious illness. We have a home and a family who love us. We have 4 cats that remind us every minute we are home that they need us. Whatever problems we have just don't compare to what Kris Carr has been through. We should be really, really happy. We should be celebrating our love for each other and how good life has been to us. Instead we talk about the stress he is under at work and how to deal with it. We really need to change our lifestyles. We need to be appreciating every moment we are alive, well and happy.
  
  Another raw friend lost a kidney to cancer this week. She is back home and in good spirits, but her cheerful attitude belies the worry she went through prior to surgery. The threat of chemo and radiation probably took a year or two off her life.
  
  I need to think more about how good my life is instead of complaining about how slow my weight loss is or how the neighbor's dog wakes me up every morning. Thank God I can wake up in my own bed and hear that dog barking.

On Saturday I ate:

• Breakfast: Muesli with cashews, walnuts, sunflower and chia seeds, raisins and goji berries, coconut flakes, banana, and apple with almond milk.
• Lunch: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, kale, raw cacao, maca powder, spirulina, and flax seeds. (Felt I needed the super foods.)
• Supper: Salad with arugula, mache, fennel, tomatoes, celery, red bell pepper, leeks and a lime, Dijon mustard, agave nectar, and olive oil dressing.
• Snack: Kale chips.

On Sunday I ate:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, orange, strawberries, peaches, mustard greens, mint and spinach. (It was clean out the fridge time!)
• Lunch: A salad of mixed greens with a lemon/herb/olive oil dressing and mint tea.
• Supper: Fresh corn mixed with some kim chi. (Odd combination, have no idea what inspired that!)

Photo: Kris Carr from her website: http://crazysexylife.com/about/

Wanderlust

It is Memorial Day weekend in the US. It is one of our quieter holidays where we remember those who have passed, especially our service men and women. I drove up to my mother's gravesite on Thursday and planted a pretty array of flowers that would have pleased her very much. Putting flowers on the graves was a tradition we honored every year together when she was alive. It seems peculiar to be doing it for her and not with her.

On my way back home from that task, I spent part of the 2 hour drive on the phone with my nephew from California. He is hosting a big party this weekend and tried to convince me to just hop on a plane and have a weekend adventure at his house. I knew it was a crazy idea and that there was no way we would be going, but then he got my husband on the phone and convinced him that we should do this. After a while, my husband talked me into it...and then changed his mind!

So after that little roller coaster ride of excitement, we are not going anywhere and I am disappointed as we really didn't make any plans for the holiday weekend. In fact, it is our anniversary and we didn't even think to dream up any excitement for ourselves!

It doesn't help matters that over the past several days I have been hearing about the travel plans for several friends and family members. They have ranged from India, Turkey, Greece, Brazil, Mexico, and China, to Alaska and Canada. I guess not everyone is experiencing a recession!

But it got me to thinking about how I would manage such a trip while staying raw. It would definitely take a strong commitment and careful planning to do it. Angela Stokes and Matt Monarch travel the world and stay raw, but for a newbie like me, it might be a bit of a stretch.

On Thursday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie of apple, orange, banana, and Swiss chard.
• Lunch: A few power balls.
• Supper: My broccoli/bok choy salad.

On Friday I fasted until evening and then had:

• Supper: Lettuce wraps with romaine, avocado, red bell pepper, tomato, sprouts and dulse.

Raw-luck Evening

I went to the local raw-luck tonight. It was a hot day and it seems most of us had the same idea...bring some cool greens. Someone brought some raw coconut macaroons that I could have just sat, smiled, listened to others talk, and quietly put away every single one on the plate! I did restrain myself and saved some for the rest of the group.

My friend Diana was there tonight. She and I go back 15 years and I am so happy to have her along for this raw ride. She is quite enthusiastic about improving her health and suggested that we go up to Michigan to the Creative Health Institute together. Of course she wants to do this in July or August, but I already have a couple of trips planned for those months and am not sure I want to commit to the expenditure. There is no doubt in my mind that the trip would prove well worth the time and money, but is it the best use of resources when my daughter is scraping every dime together to pay for her education? We'll see what miracles happen.

Here is a recipe that I dreamed up a couple of days ago and took to the raw-luck this evening. I can't seem to get enough of it.

Bok Choy/Broccoli Salad

2 bunches baby bok choy, chopped

2 bunches baby broccoli, chopped

1 red bell pepper, chopped

1/3 Vidalia onion, chopped

1-2 tomatoes, chopped

3 stalks celery, chopped

1/3 cup pine nuts

Mix together in a large salad bowl.

Dressing:

1/4 cup cilantro leaves, finely chopped

1 small clove garlic, pressed

2 limes, juiced

1T. apple cider vinegar

1/4 cup water

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

Whisk all dressing ingredients together and add any other desired herbs or spices such as basil, sage, rosemary, etc. Celtic sea salt and pepper can be added to taste. Pour over vegetables and toss.

On Tuesday I ate:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, banana, orange and collards.
• Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
• Supper: A big bowlful of the above salad.

On Wednesday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie of apple, orange, banana, collards and Swiss chard.
• Lunch: Lettuce wraps with romaine, cucumbers, carrots, avocado. Also a few green olives.
• Supper: A heaping bowlful of the bok choy/broccoli salad.

It's Not Easy Being Green

People always ask how I stay raw when there are so many temptations around all the time. It is true, it isn't easy to stay raw, especially when it is not very well understood or accepted as being an extremely healthy lifestyle. But I have had a lot of support from a small community that I have built around me since before I went 100% raw. Through the miracle of the internet, I have been able to connect with other like-minded people, both in my area and in other states and countries. Generally we are such a small segment of the population that we stick pretty close together.

Today, however, I was shocked when one of the pillars of my community told me she was going to back out of a group that has been supporting each other for several months. She felt the computer time was just getting to be too much. I understand her reasons, and know that she will still be my friend and will continue to improve her health through a raw vegan lifestyle, but I don't think she knows just how much all of us have depended on her rock solid support.

This is the second time in the past couple of weeks that one of the people I have supported and depended on for my support has decided to withdraw. It leaves me feeling very alone and makes me realize how I need to continue to reach out to others.

It also reminds me of all the times when someone else depended on me for something and I have decided that I needed to go my own way. We go along in our lives and try to make the best decisions for ourselves that we can, and frequently we don't live up to someone's expectations when we decide to take another path. I am reminded, once again, that other people depend on me and look to me to keep my promises.



Kermit's tone seems just as lonely as I feel tonight.

On Sunday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, orange, banana, kale.
• Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
• Supper: A salad with baby bok choy, baby broccoli, red bell pepper, Vidalia onion and a dressing of cilantro, lime juice, garlic, and olive oil.
• Snack: A handful of cashews.

On Monday I had:

• Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, orange, banana, collards.
• Lunch: More of yesterday's salad.
• Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with and alfredo sauce of macademia and pine nuts, garlic, lemon juice, Celtic sea salt and a few spices.

Horse Power

2009 Preakness Winner, Rachel Alexandra

Just where do you think this Super Star Filly gets her protein? Well it's not from meat!!!

Friday's intake:

Breakfast: Muesli with almonds, walnuts, sunflower and chia seeds, dried apricots, raisins, banana, apples, and almond milk.

Lunch: Green smoothie with strawberries, banana, apple, and collards.

Supper: A handful of cashews.

Saturday:

Breakfast: Juice of carrots, celery, cucumber, beet, ginger root, lemon, and apple.

Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with arugula, spinach, pink grapefruit, orange, clementine, avocado, sprouts and dressing of lemon juice, Dijon mustard, agave nectar, and olive oil.

Supper: Green smoothie soup of tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, garlic, dulse and spinach.

A horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves - strong, powerful, beautiful - and it has the capability of giving us escape from our mundane existence. ~Pam Brown