Day 60!!!

It is no small miracle that I have arrived at 60 days of eating 100% raw vegan. Anyone who has tried to go raw will tell you it isn't easy, but for me this has been a state of grace that I never want to end. Like an alcoholic or drug addict, it has been one day at a time. Sometimes it has been one meal at a time, but this miracle has never been taken for granted for one minute.

The changes have been profound and sublime. I have let go of 16 lbs., which is about 2 lbs. a week. I am off all prescription drugs and have used over-the-counter remedies only 3 times in 60 days. My energy continues to increase, the pain in my body continues to decrease. I have started exercising for the first time in years and can see my clothes becoming baggier by the day. I have had spiritual insights and visions that I can't begin to describe.

In the background there have been friends and family members cheering me on. I am so grateful to all of them for the space, time, consideration and generosity they have granted me as I have pursued this journey. There are well-known leaders in the raw food movement that continue to teach and help guide me....people like Angela Stokes, Matt Monarch, Kevin Gianni, Nomi Shannon and others like Tommie. There are the local people who participate in the Columbus Raw Meetup group that inspire me. Then there is my little group that communicates on a daily basis...S., L., and A....from the bottom of my heart, thank you! We are all on this road together and together we will succeed.

Today I ate:

Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, banana, orange, pineapple and spinach.

Lunch: Leftover Mediterranean salad.

Supper: Big garden salad, of arugula, spinach and leaf lettuce, tomato, celery, carrot, mushroom, onion with a dressing of Dijon mustard, agave nectar, lemon juice and olive oil.

Body Flexed today too.

Comparative Health

Well, for the minor aches, pains and lack of energy that I have suffered this past week or so, it doesn't begin to rival the illness the rest of my family is experiencing. They all have some form of the flu that is wearing them down to a halt. I spent a portion of my day today sitting in an urgent care while my daughter got her diagnosis and prescriptions. She is by far and away the sickest person in the house right now and the only one who got a flu shot this year. My husband took a sick day as well and while he still isn't back to 100%, says he's going back to work tomorrow.

I am trying very hard not to be too smug about the fact that I have not been really sick at all this winter. With the exception of the detox I went through right after the Fred Payne events, I have not had any of my usual winter ailments. This is the first winter in decades that I did not go to the doctor for a sinus infection! There was a time that I could count on bronchitis and/or pneumonia along with strep throat, colds, and ongoing congestion every year. I used to say that I knew how I was going to die....it would be from pneumonia.

I like to think that my eating 100% raw has had a big impact on those trends. My only trip to the doctor in the past several months has been to decrease and finally eliminate all my medications! That alone makes staying raw worthwhile, but the benefits just continue to mount.

Today's intake was:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, pineapple, orange, banana, ginger and spinach.
Lunch: A bowl of raw sauerkraut with the rest of the smoothie.
Supper: A big Mediterranean salad with arugula, fennel, red bell peppers, shallots, capers, olives, tomatoes, avocado, and lemon juice, sea salt and olive oil for the dressing.

Body Flexed first thing this morning.

Photo courtesy of Kimy of Cleveland, OH. http://mousemedicine.blogspot.com/

A Quiet Weekend

On Saturday I dragged my husband around town with me to run errands and do the grocery shopping. He really wasn't feeling well, but wanted to get out of the house and spend some time with me. I love it when we can grocery shop together...it just goes so much easier. He loves Whole Foods as much as I do, so he doesn't mind watching me pile stacks of greens into the cart. My daughter has found a social life and isn't cooking for him as much these days, so he has been eating more of what I offer him...which, of course, is lots of fruits and vegetables. He is even talking about going raw for a while to try it out! I won't hold my breath on that one, but it can only improve his health to whatever degree he embraces it.

On Saturday I ate:
Breakfast: A smoothie of banana, orange and peaches.
Lunch: Some raw sauerkraut and various raw vegetables.
Supper: Guacamole and celery.

Sunday was a day to stay home and relax. The weather went from rain to sleet to a few snow showers, with winds topping 40 mph. Not a good day for travel. We had planned a trip to Louisville, KY but my husband was really sick so we stayed home. I woke up with a lingering pain in my left hip, but it finally subsided. I am still at the mercy of the weather when it comes to my joints.

On Sunday I had:
Breakfast: 3 Mineolas...a cross between a tangerine and grapefruit.
Lunch: Corn chowder
Supper: Nori rolls with avocado, cauliflower, red bell pepper, carrots and cucumber.
Snack: Some power ball goo.

I Body Flexed on Saturday but passed on Sunday due to the achy joint problem.

An 8 Week Progress Report

I am rapidly approaching the 60 day mark with eating 100% raw. Not sure why that number feels so significant, but it is twice the 30 day mark. That is twice the number of days it takes to form a habit. Every 30 days I am a raw vegan increases the likelihood that I will stick with it.

My progress these past 4 weeks has been a little disappointing. I only let go of another 4 lbs. and a total of 4 1/2". This brings my total weight loss to 15 lbs. in 8 weeks of being 100% raw. If I count the weight I lost while I was trying to go raw, the number is 24 lbs. lost. My clothes are much looser on me now and I am feeling better as time goes by. I am pleased with any progress and especially pleased that my upper body strength is significantly stronger from the Body Flex program. My energy has been improving, even if it is at an erratic pace. I am also happy to report that a chronic lower back pain has all but completely disappeared.

As I go through my mental checklist of the positive benefits of eating raw, I am very pleased that I have come this far and will continue my happy raw vegan ways.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, banana, orange, spinach and parsley.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: We ate out at a French restaurant that accommodated me with 2 double side salads of very fresh greens, red and green bell peppers, tomatoes and red onion. The dressing was a mixture of lemon juice, mustard, honey, olive oil and seasonings.
Snack: A little bit of power ball goo.

Body Flexed as usual.

Odd Day

It has been an odd day today. I started out all gun-ho and as the day wore on, my energy seemed to just slip away. There has been a change in the weather and I have noticed a slight change in how I feel. It certainly has not been the radical change I used to experience, but the barometric pressure still seems to effect my joints a little.

My cousin Sharon, seemed to be having a relatively good day today. In fact, she was downright giddy when I spoke to her. Her husband had taken the afternoon off to take her to one of her many doctors. They had left the doctor's office and were on their way to a Starbucks to have a chat over coffee. She seemed so happy to have his company. I told her I was going to do some "concentrated prayer" for her. She thought that was a fine idea. She has been living in the Bible belt too long for me to try to explain to her what I would be doing, so I left it at that.

Today I had:
Breakfast: A fruit salad of apple, banana, oranges and a handful of almonds.
Lunch: Corn chowder made with frozen corn, some cashews, a green onion, red bell pepper, a few slices of leeks, water and nutritional yeast.
Supper: Green salad of romaine lettuce, celery, red bell pepper, tomato, olives and lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt for a dressing.
Snack: A few power balls.

Still doing the Body Flex.

Sharon

My cousin, Sharon, called me today. She has Parkinson's disease and lives in another state. She is pretty isolated right now from her kids and grandkids, her siblings and the rest of the family. She was in one city for a long time after her husband took a job in another city. Since they weren't able to sell their house, she stayed behind alone. Now that it has dragged out to about a year and a half with the house still on the market, she has moved into an apartment with her husband and pets in their new city. It is better, but she is terribly lonely and calls her old friends and family frequently for moral support.

I have been totally shocked how this very intelligent, once very active, involved woman has managed to resist every bit of help that has been offered to her in terms of managing her disease. She still believes that one of her two neurological doctors will find the right combination of drugs that will make everything right again. She is wallowing in self pity and is crying for attention. Just talking with her is very frustrating as there are always distractions and interruptions in the conversation....the dog barking, another phone call, etc. She doesn't really listen to you when you do talk to her. It has taken me a long time to get to a point of saying that I need to give up on her or confront her in a big intervention kind of way. I feel sorry for her, but my pity isn't going to help her.

In confronting this situation, I realize how many people there are just like her. They are sick and could be doing something/a lot of things to help themselves, but don't. It is like they are children crying out for attention. "Look at me, I am sick. I can't do that. I'm helpless. Feel sorry for me. Give me love. Give me attention." What do you do to help people like that? When straight talk doesn't make a difference, what do you say? Keep this up and you'll die?!!! Just what is our responsibility when being our brother's keeper means your efforts are rebuffed?

I am going to make my first attempt at some remote spiritual healing ala Fred Payne. Divine intervention may be the only way to save Sharon's life. Short of telling her to go eat an apple and call me in the morning, this seems like the only thing I can do.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with blueberries, banana, apple, pear and kale.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: Nori rolls with red bell pepper, zucchini, carrot, sprouts, cauliflower, avocado, and lemon juice.
Snack: Some power ball goo.

Did my Body Flex today.

A New Day

I woke up this morning clear headed and completely pain free. I notice that my mornings are getting better and better. I used to take forever to wake up, drag my body out of bed, and would frequently take some kind of Advil, Tylenol, or aspirin first thing. Then, if I didn't have to go anywhere, would sit down and kick back in a recliner until the drugs relieved enough pain that I could get up and get moving. But when the drugs wore off, I had to stop what I was doing and take more. I would do this repeatedly and by the middle of the afternoon, I was pretty much done for the day. I would take a nap around 3 pm and then just sit and watch the news, or whatever the least objectionable thing on TV was, until around 7 pm when I would go find something to eat. By that time I would have a lot of back pain and it would be hard to stand or even walk for longer than 10 minutes.

Going back 8 years, when I was working a very stressful full time job, the story was worse:
I would force myself out of bed, ease my aching body down the steps to the kitchen, pour myself a BIG cup of coffee (with about a half a cup of that artificially sweetened and flavored creamer), pull myself back up the steps and drink my coffee in the shower just to wake up enough to get myself out the door. Then, after I got downtown, I would stop at a Caribou Coffee and pick up a LARGE Caramel High Rise (430 Calories, 170 Fat calories, 19 g Total fat, 75 mg Cholesterol, 49 g Sugar, 200 mg Sodium, 270 mg Caffeine.) I would then go into my office, shut the door, drink my coffee and try to pull myself together enough to get something done. About 10 am I would go get ANOTHER large espresso latte (another 180 mg of caffeine!)....I would try to eliminate the sugar and fat of the whipped cream the second time around, just 2% milk this time, thank you! I would eat a salad for lunch with a hunk of whole grain bread...to eat healthy, of course. Then around 3 or 4pm I had to have another big coffee. I would work until 8 or 9 pm, and then being too tired to cook, would eat out at a restaurant. I would always have to have a couple glasses of wine or 2-3 big margaritas to settle down from all that coffee and the stress of the job. And since I had only had a salad for lunch and no breakfast, I would be really hungry and eat way too much. Then I would go home, take a melatonin to get to sleep along with a fistful of drugs to kill all the pain in my body. I would thrash around in bed until 2 am eating a half a dozen Rolaids to calm my stomach down before I could even get to sleep.

Yes, there is a lot to heal in this body. I have come a long way and it is good to remember where I was. I am very grateful for the life I have now.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, pear, banana, collards, and parsley.
Lunch: A little leftover zucchini spaghetti with a "cheesey" sauce (macadamia nuts, pine nuts, cashews, lemon juice, garlic, water and nutritional yeast.) I had made it last night for my supper but my husband ate it instead.)
Snack: 2 power balls
Supper: Big green vegetable salad with a lemon juice, agave nectar, Dijon mustard, and olive oil dressing.

Body Flexed again today.

Wolves, Bears & Seals

My energy was good today but not the perfect "10" yesterday was. I am not sure what makes the difference but I will look forward to a time when I jump out of bed every morning and go until bedtime without having to stop and rest for a while. It just occurred to me that most 58 year olds probably don't have that expectation. Maybe really fit ones do, but most of the ones I know don't believe they can grow younger.

I received 2 messages in my inbox today that made me very angry and upset. The first one was from the Defenders of Wildlife. It pushed my blood pressure up a few numbers with the discussion of how Sarah Palin continues the fight for aerial hunting of Alaska's wolves and bears. Personally I would like to see someone aerial hunt Sarah Palin for sport. Oh. Did that remark come out of my mouth?!!! (Sorry, S. I know you voted for her.) That woman is singlehandedly ruining the last American stronghold of wildlife.

The second message was from the Humane Society of the United States regarding Canada's insane, inhumane practice of clubbing baby harp seals to death for their fur. Even with the outcry from other nations, businesses boycotting the Canadian seafood industry, and millions of citizens and organizations from around the world, all joining together as this horror takes place every spring, Canadian officials increased the allowable quota by 5,000 seals that the fisherman are allowed to kill.

An Indian yogi I once studied with expressed his sadness for all the dead raccoons and groundhogs he observed on the sides of the roads in our country and asked, " Do you not think these animals value thier lives as much as you do yours?"

It saddens me that we have such little regard for the rest of the life on our planet. I'm glad I'm a vegan.

Breakfast: 2 power balls.
Lunch: The other half of last night's vegetable salad.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with alfredo sauce was quickly abandoned to my husband. I opted instead for a green smoothie with mango, banana, orange, and collards.

Did my Body Flex today.

Back to Normal

Thank goodness I am back to normal today! I have a very low tolerance for pain and am a very impatient patient. I woke up this morning feeling rested and well and got right to the Body Flex that I had missed for the past week. That always seems to give me an additional boost of energy and today I sailed through the day like nothing had ever happened. I was rather surprised by how good I felt and just how much energy I had.

My husband had to work this weekend....no one will ever accuse him of working banker's hours! My daughter was busy with her life, so it left me home alone to do as I wished. I was rather pleased with myself that I got some nagging chores done. It seems I can never get anything done on the weekends because my husband and daughter are home and are too much of a distraction. But today gave me a jump start on my week and hopefully I won't suffer any more detox attacks.

I was really hungry today. It seemed that no matter what I ate, I wanted more of something else. I had some serious cravings for cooked food today which I again fought off with more raw foods. Here's what I had:

Breakfast: 3 power balls.
Lunch: Nori rolls: an avocado and cauliflower for "rice" and strips of red pepper, cucumber, and carrots all rolled up with some alfalfa sprouts in nori sheets.
Supper: A big green salad with various vegetables chopped up and thrown in along with a couple of red tomatoes. Dressing was my usual lemon juice with sea salt and olive oil.
Snack: A LaraBar-Cashew Cookie

On the Mend

I was feeling better today. At least I kept all my food down and didn't experience anything more than a lot of rumbles in my tummy. I still don't feel great, but it is a vast improvement over yesterday...which has proven to my family that I didn't have the flu or food poisoning!

But having not eaten much of anything yesterday really had me craving all kinds of things today. I watched my daugher eat eggs and toast for breakfast and when my husband mentioned pizza this evening, I could have happily thrown away 50 days for just the smell of it! I did restrain myself and stuck to my plan. I figure that if I am going to give up being raw, I want it to be a conscious decision not just a whim.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with pepitas, sunflower and chia seeds, almonds and walnuts, goji berries, dates, an apple and a banana.
Lunch: Skipped
Supper: Citrus Avocado Salad with mixed greens, half of a pink grapefruit, an orange, a Mandarin orange, avocado, sprouts, leeks and a dressing of dijon mustard, lemon juice, agave nectar, and olive oil.

I haven't Body Flexed but 2 days in the past week. Maybe tomorrow I can get back on track with that.

Day 49 - Seven weeks

Yesterday was a difficult day. I had to take my daughter to the hospital for tests. She is having serious digestive problems. I know a raw food diet would help her but she doesn't listen to me. She is a believer in the medical sciences, and thinks she will find her answers there. Sometimes a mother has to let the child learn on her own. It isn't easy watching someone you love make so many mistakes.

I managed my food pretty well during the day.
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, banana, orange and spinach.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Snack: 3 power balls.
Supper: My second attempt at a raw pizza. A raw cheese sauce, a raw tomato sauce spread onto 2 portobella mushroom caps with shallots, yellow and orange peppers and a few olives. Lets face it. It is NOT anything close to pizza and I need to try making a crust with a dehydrator.

Today was Day 49....seven weeks. And it has been a really rocky day. I slept 14 hours last night and woke up feeling pretty badly. Later I had severe diarrhea and was vomiting. My initial take is that this is a real detox reaction. My family wanted me to go to the hospital or urgent care, but I knew they would just give me drugs, and then it's more to detox. I am trying to stay hydrated but it is difficult when it just runs straight through you.

My intake for the day:
A handful of cashews and the juice of 2 oranges this evening.
All the water I can keep down.

Hope tomorrow is a better day.

Raw Meetup

After the massive healing that Fred Payne did last night, I thrashed around in bed all night long. Various aches and pains came and went, my stomach started to gurgle and churn, and I had several entertaining dreams. I was ready to spend half the day in bed today, but when morning finally arrived, I felt fine! Fred had recommended a few things to help my body with its detox, so I went out on a mission to gather the necessary supplies. I ran a few other errands along the way and arrived back home in the early afternoon.

I tried to get a few things done around the house, but the phone kept ringing and before I knew it, time slipped away from me. One person from the Fred Payne series called to reconnect and I was really happy to hear from her. We will probably be planning a time to get as many of us as we can back together again.

I had taken some of my power balls to the meeting last night and they were a big hit. Dr. Rosana Domingues, a local homeopath, was thrilled to hear that I was eating raw and wanted to know more about what I was doing. I invited her to join me at the Columbus Raw Meetup group tonight. I got there a little late because I yakked on the phone too long, but Rosana was already there and had found someone she knew. It was my first time, so I didn't know anyone but her. My husband arrived a little later from work, but by that time I was feeling pretty comfortable among the group of 18 or so folks that showed up.

I was pretty impressed by the people who came to this group....one young woman had lost 100 lbs. in a year by eating raw! Her mother was so impressed by her daughter's success, that she too, had gone raw. Another woman, Jane, introduced us to Mona Vie, a "super drink." Will showed us a sensible way to open a young coconut...no machetes involved! Lisa gave me her card for her colon hydrotherapy. Stephanie is leaving on a two week vacation at the Creative Health Institute in Union City, MI. Allison was a gracious hostess to everyone and welcomed me into the group. Shawna Stursa, the main organizer, is arranging an expedition soon to teach us how to forage for wild greens! She is an extraordinary woman who has studied with Dr. Gabriel Cousens and is working on her Master's in Spiritual Vegan Livefood Nutrition Education. There were several other talented people there that I didn't get to talk to this time, but all in all, I felt like I had found my people. It appeared to be salad night tonight but everything looked so colorful and fresh. One person made a really tasty raw baklava. Can't wait to get that recipe!

No question about it. This group has a lot going on and I intend to go back. What a joy to find such inspiration right here in my own back yard!

Today's edibles:
Breakfast: A mango, banana, Mandarin orange smoothie.
Lunch: A small salad of arugula, sprouts, mushrooms, olives, red peppers, garlic, lemon juice, sea salt and olive oil.
Supper: A variety of green salads, a carrot salad, and the baklava.
Snack: A few power balls.

I also drank 3 quarts of water with a whole lemon blended into it (to assist the liver.) I completely forgot to do my Body Flex today. I'll get back on track with that tomorrow.

Payne & Love

Last fall a local clairvoyant told me to get some spiritual healing. Given the grief-stricken state I was in at the time, anything would have helped. But I was fortunate enough to be introduced to Fred Payne and Aniel Love, both spiritual healers of the highest class. In the past 3 weeks I have had the extraordinary privilege of working with both of them (primarily Fred) on 7 different days. The experience is so profound that it is difficult to describe what has happened. Fred works with the body-mind-spirit complex to facilitate a healing process in all aspects of a person's life. Mind you, this is no airy-fairy process either!

For someone like myself who has so much to heal...physically, emotionally, and spiritually, this was, as one person put it, "like a spiritual enema!" I have said goodbye to Aniel and Fred for a while, but I am looking forward to working with them both again in a few months. I expect to be a transformed person by the next time I see them. My body is now letting go of all kinds of residual toxins. My weight has dropped and I feel like a 5-ton weight has been lifted from my soul. I feel emotionally free of a lot that has bothered me for a long time and some deep spiritual rifts have been mended. I will be eternally grateful to these 2 special people for the work they are doing in the world.

For now their work with me is done, and mine is just beginning. Between the raw vegan diet and Fred's clearings and empowerments, a real purge is taking place in my body. I am so glad I have my raw practices in place. I think it is the best thing I could be doing during this time of healing. Every cell, molecule and atom in my body is being transformed now.

Since I have gone raw, I am amazed at the changes in my life. New people, new opportunities, new habits, new routines.....everything is changing very quickly. I feel like I am shedding an old, dirty, worn-out costume. I am stepping out onto the stage of life a new actor...ready for the next act of the play.

Today's meals were really crazy!
Breakfast: Just a quart of water with lemon...my usual.
Lunch: A bowl of raw sauerkraut and a few olives! What on earth was I craving?!!!
Supper: A quart of juice made of a beet, 2 apples, a lemon, 4 carrots, 5 stalks of celery and a cucumber.
Snack: A couple of power balls.

Recovery

I am definitely feeling the aftereffects of the weekend. Fred has warned us that we might have physical symptoms from the work he does. No question about it...this is a detox! I am feeling tired, nauseous, headachy, emotional,....I think I have run the gamut of indicators today. Aniel Love likens it to recovering from surgery. That is a good description of how it has felt today.

I need to be up early and ready to go tomorrow morning, so I will keep this short tonight.

Here's what I ate:
Breakfast: The rest of yesterday's green smoothie.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with red leaf lettuce, pink grapefruit, an orange, a Mandarin orange, avocado and a dressing of lemon juice, agave nectar, sea salt and olive oil.
Snack: The rest of last night's salad.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with a tomato sauce.

A Healing Weekend

Fred Payne's Level 1 Healing and Training Workshop blew my socks off! It was designed to introduce students to "a new paradigm of reality and awareness and foster a major enhancement of your personal empowerment over your life, health, spiritual contact and consciousness." No question about it...Fred got 'er done!

I am at a loss for words to describe everything I got out of the past two days with Fred, but I can speak to at least one thing that really makes a difference. I became personally acquainted with my Higher Self. I have heard of a higher self before, but really didn't have any knowledge or experience of this concept. With Fred guiding us through several processes asking us to connect with our higher selves, I began to see that there really was such a thing and that this personal guardian angel has my best interests at heart. Early Sunday morning I did a meditation and sought out my Higher Self. The experience I had left no doubt in my mind that I have never been alone, I have always had this being with me and she has been guiding my footsteps for a long time. I feel like I have a new best friend! And the feeling seems to be mutual. I got a very strong sense that my Higher Self was just as pleased to know that I had found her as I was! It was total love, acceptance and forgiveness. This alone adds a whole new dimension to my meditations.

To be certain, I will be back for more work with this "good 'ole boy from Kentucky!" Fred really is a very charming Southern gentleman who uses a lot of fun and humor in his teachings. His knowledge and wisdom in the spiritual/healing arts was practically demonstrated over and over during the weekend. He shows the utmost respect and humility for his students which forges an immediate bond of trust and his integrity appears to be 100%. I am looking forward to continuing my education with Fred. He has plenty for me to learn.

Just so you know I haven't completely gone off the deep end, here is what I ate over the weekend:

Saturday:
Breakfast: Skipped.
Lunch: A green salad with oil and vinegar, and an orange.
Snack: 3 power balls and an apple
Supper: Salad with avocado, tomato, yellow pepper and lemon juice. I was still hungry so I fixed some corn chowder and gobbled that down too.

Sunday:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with banana, apple, pear, and mango.
Lunch: Big green salad with tomatoes, red onion, red pepper and a Caesar dressing of oil, vinegar, mustard and some seasonings.
Supper: Salad with cucumber, tomato, yellow pepper, oil and vinegar. "Nori rolls" with avocado and cauliflower mixed together for "rice" and red pepper, cucumber, and carrots; all rolled in sheets of nori seaweed and sliced into sushi-sized pieces.

Both days' lunches were at a restaurant with a group of people eating a variety of some of my favorite SAD foods. I am happy to report that I was not tempted in the least to have any of it!

I did not do my Body Flex either day.

A Long Day

I have not been on my regular schedule lately. I have been sleeping 2 hours later each day, which is more like 1 hour with the time change. I definitely haven't adjusted yet. It has another effect on the other end of the day too. I haven't been able to get to sleep at a decent time either. Tonight I am taking some melatonin to get to sleep. This morning I did get myself up and got busy with my Body Flex right away. But after running around all day today, I am really whipped tonight.

I need to be up and ready to go tomorrow morning for a full day with Fred Payne. My husband and I both will be in his 2 day Healing and Training Workshop for clearing emotional issues and more. I feel very strongly that clearing a lot of the stuff from my past will allow me to maintain a healthy diet for the rest of my life. I am such an emotional eater, that every little bit helps.

Today's meals were really off.
Breakfast: A small leftover salad with a half of cucumber added.
Lunch: Some salad fixings from Whole Foods' salad bar.
Snack: A few olives and a handful of cashew nuts.
Supper: A little bit of zucchini spaghetti with alfredo sauce and a couple of power balls.

I haven't lost any weight in 2 weeks, but I have lost 4" in the past 6 days thanks to Body Flex!

Day 41

I went to another workshop by Fred Payne this evening. This one was on relationships. Not just the relationship we are in or the one we want, but all relationships including past lovers, past lives, parents, family members, and most importantly, our relationship with ourselves. Funny how any of those from the past can influence the ones we have now.

Aniel Love was there again tonight, radiating light and love like an angel sent straight from the heavens! Again, she did additional work on me and I felt like a tsunami wave hit me! She is a powerful healer, that one.

With all this energy work, I expect to see miraculous changes over the next few months. All of this work causes cells to release toxins and produces a variety of physical detox symptoms. It is all good. The more I detox, the more weight I seem to let go of. Eating raw then becomes secondary to the whole process. It is holistic healing.

One thing I notice every time I step out into public now, is just how old and tired everyone seems to be. I look in the mirror everyday and see improvements in my skin tone and eyes. Even the dark, sunken circles under my eyes have mostly disappeared. They were my badges of sorrow for my aging mother. But as my appearance improves, I am dumbfounded by the sad, pasty-looking faces I see all around me. I keep forgetting what a SAD diet does to the human body. I am so grateful for finding a raw food plan that works for me. I wish more people were open to this way of eating.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Power balls....needed a real boost to get moving today.
Lunch: Green smoothie with banana, apple, blueberries, cucumber, collards, and spinach.
Supper: Zucchini spaghetti.

Did my Body Flex first thing this morning.

Making Changes

I have been thinking lately about how we make changes in our lives. There are many discussions on this topic and I don't pretend to have any new revelations here, but it seems we can't have too many tools in our back pocket for everything that comes our way that we wish to change.

There is a particular quote that has inspired me for many years. It is from W. H. Murray in The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

I happen to agree with Mr. Murray, I think he hit the proverbial nail precisely on the head. I have noticed that once my mind is made up and I decide to commit to something that magical things begin to happen. Resources and circumstances seem to align with my purpose in ways that were not predictable.

But then other questions begin to form. How does one become committed? How is being committed different than just making a decision? Why is it that we can say we are committed and nothing changes? How can we make so many wrong choices and say we are committed when we really aren't?

Suffice it to say, I have laid awake many a night pondering these questions. The pondering started today when someone asked me how I do this. After all, today marks my 40th day of being 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free!

Today I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with apple, pear, peaches, banana, Swiss chard, and collards.
Lunch: "Corn chowder." (See recipe below.)
Supper: Big salad with endive, tomatoes, Vidalia onion, olives, celery, carrots, mushrooms and a dressing of lemon and lime juice, mustard, agave nectar and olive oil.

Corn Chowder (my own recipe) Serves 2

2 c. fresh or frozen corn, removed from the cob
1/3 c. cashews
1 green onion
1 c. almond milk or water
Sea salt to taste

Blend 1 cup of corn with the rest of the ingredients. Put the rest of the corn into bowls. Red or green peppers, or other chopped vegetables can be added for additional color and flavor. Pour liquid over the corn. Stir and enjoy.

More Spiritual Healing

I was really tired this morning, not sure why, but I slept way past my usual time to wake up and get moving. It seems curious to me that my energy levels seem to wax and wane at their own choosing. I am looking forward to a day when my energy is stronger and more reliable. But I can't abuse my body for as long as I did and expect it to just come bounding back because I want it to. Or can I?

I spent another evening with Fred Payne tonight in a workshop for prosperity and abundance. He cleared all kinds of crap from everyone in the room. We should all win the lottery tomorrow! My dear friend, Aniel Love was there tonight as well. She did some additional clearing for me afterwards. Things ought to really start happening now. I notice that every time I go to one of these sessions with either one or both of them, things noticeably improve in my life. Fred even did a couple of clearings around food and eating habits for us. One piece of the healing tonight cleared all forms of self-sabotage. That alone should be enough to blast me through to the next higher tax bracket!

I ate fairly lightly today, trying to avoid a lot of nuts and seeds. Here's what I had:
Breakfast: A smoothie with just bananas and peaches.
Lunch: Spinach salad with tomato, jicama, olives, celery, carrots and mushrooms with just lemon juice and Celtic sea salt as a dressing.
Supper: Mixed vegetables including corn, tomato, olives, celery and onion with lemon juice and Celtic sea salt. Later I ate a small handful of cashews.

I also did my Body Flex routine this morning.

Body Flex

About a month ago I heard of an exercise program called Body Flex. I was intrigued by this system as it could be done sitting down. I have a lot of problems with my knees and hip joints, so anything I could do that didn't require standing for long periods of time or having to get down on the floor had a lot of appeal to me. Another feature that captured my attention was the fact that it could be done in 20 minutes and guaranteed that I would lose inches and pounds. This was my kind of exercise plan!

So after chasing it down on e-Bay, I finally received my new exercise equipment....a plastic bar with a rubber stretchy band and a couple of videos. (I found the VHS video tapes real cheap and we still have a VCR that works.) I went through the instructional video and my first workout on Saturday morning. I was quite surprised that the 20 minute workout seemed to get me charged up for the day. I had a few aches on Sunday morning, but nothing like what I have experienced with other workouts. With the family and some friends over, I didn't have the time or privacy to do it yesterday. But today, I did it first thing this morning and again have been pleased with the energy and endurance I've had today. For what I paid for it, this system is worth the money already! I did take my measurements before I started, so we will see what happens with it in one week. If I see the results that it promises, maybe I will post some before and after pictures.

Today I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with sunflower, chia, and pepita seeds, almonds and pecans, dates, coconut flakes, an apple and a banana with almond milk. I drizzled about a teaspoon of agave nectar over it too.
Lunch: Salad with romaine lettuce, celery, carrots, an avocado, and an orange with lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Snack: Handful of cashews.
Supper: A little bit of zucchini spaghetti with alfredo sauce. I really wasn't as hungry as I thought I was.

A couple of people have asked me about the alfredo sauce, so here is the recipe. It is my version of a couple of other people's recipes.

1/3 cup macadamia nuts
1/3 cup pine nuts
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1/2 lemon, juiced
1 clove garlic
1/2 cup water
Dash of nutmeg
Dash of white pepper
Celtic sea salt

Throw everything into a blender and blend until creamy and smooth.

This makes more than enough for 2 servings. My husband even liked it and finished it off tonight. It can be used over spiralized zucchini for spaghetti or as a dipping sauce for other veggies.

Weekend Diversions

I have logged another successful weekend. Certain times seem to be a little more challenging to stay raw and weekends definitely rank in the top 3. Having the whole family home plus friends dropping by, makes me become more deliberate in my planning and eating.

Our social life has been really impacted by my raw venture. We no longer go out for coffee, meet for drinks or celebrate events at our favorite restaurants. Right now, with the economy being what it is, no one is complaining.

Saturday night we went to a showing at an art gallery and by the time we got there, the drinks and hors d'oeuvres were gone (or never existed, I'm not sure.) Normally this would have been followed by dinner out or drinks at a local hot spot. Instead we decided to drop in at our daughter's work place unannounced to say hi. She was working the night shift in labor and delivery at a local hospital. Hey! We know how to party!

All went well until we sat down to watch a rather somber movie (Sophie's Choice) on Sunday night. I am not sure if it was just the movie-watching habit to eat popcorn, or if it was wanting comfort food to numb what I knew was going to be an emotional reaction to the movie, but for the first time in 37 days, I had some fierce cravings. I finally settled on some power balls.

So now I realize that the power balls have become my new comfort food. I am not opposed to eating them if they curb real cravings, but to use them so often is not a good sign. Yes, they are keeping me raw, but they are very high in fat and I suspect they are slowing down my weight loss. I am going to pay attention to this situation and think about what I need to do or eat to satisfy myself without using these things as a crutch. Maybe time alone will sort that out. I have read that as a raw foodist, your tastes and appetite will evolve to a much better diet. I will look forward to that, but for now, I need to notice what is going on with me when these urges strike.

On Saturday I ate:

Breakfast: Some leftover mushroom stems and "cheese" sauce from Friday night.

Lunch: Nori rolls....avocado with lemon juice and sea salt, with a mixture of chopped carrots, red bell pepper, sprouts, and shallots; all rolled into a couple of sheets of nori seaweed and cut into sushi-like pieces.

Snack: a handful of cashews.

Supper: Zucchini spaghetti with tomato sauce, celery and olives.

Dessert: Apple with almond butter.

On Sunday I had:

Breakfast: Green smoothie with a pear, an apple, 2 bananas, and Swiss chard.

Lunch: Rest of the green smoothie.

Supper: Salad with romaine, spinach, celery, carrots, capers, black olives, jicama, avocado, with lemon juice, olive oil and sea salt.

Craving Killer: Power balls.

Old Habits

It amazes me just how fast we can return to old habits! They can creep up and grab you when you aren't looking and drag you down before you know what hit you.

I received some bad/sad news for a couple of days in a row and finally noticed what I was doing each time. On Wednesday, I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when the phone rang and I discovered some disturbing news. There was nothing I could do to change the situation, so I sat and thought about it for a few minutes. Suddenly I realized that I was hungry. So I went to the kitchen, made some power balls and promptly consumed them.

On Thursday, a similar situation occurred and I just made a beeline for the kitchen and whipped up another batch of power balls. It wasn't until I had eaten two of them before I realized what I was doing. I was stuffing my feelings. Again. Being raw hadn't changed that life-long pattern of eating to avoid feeling badly.

In this economy it seems there is bad news everyday and today was no exception. For the third straight day I picked up the phone to hear that someone really close had lost his job. The news was particularly upsetting as this man worked with my husband and the axe had fallen pretty close to home. I sat in shock at this news and noticed the urge to go eat emerge from the depths of my unconscious. As I realized the instantaneous hunger, I also realized how badly I really felt. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and shout, "It's not right! It's not fair! No, you can't do this to someone I care about!" They can and they did, and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

As I dissected my feelings about all this, I began to see how the pattern got set in place when I was very young. I had no control over the events in my life and food became my pacifier any time something happened that made me unhappy. The seeds of a compulsive overeater were set in place at a very young age and they have ruled my life for the better part of 58 years. Knowing this doesn't change anything. The lesson for me out of this is to always be vigilant. Never eat without knowing why I am eating.

As for all those sad feelings, I sat and pondered them for a while and then took the advice of my very wise buddy. I put them on a train and let them go.

On Thursday I had:
Breakfast: Green smoothie of mango, 2 bananas, 2 oranges and 3 big stalks of Swiss chard.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with 1/2 grapefruit, an orange, an avocado, spinach and spring mix and a dressing of lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Emotional Comfort Food: Power balls.
Supper: Salad with romaine lettuce, red and yellow peppers, leeks and carrots with lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with mango, 2 bananas, a pear, an orange and lots of kale.
Lunch: The rest of the smoothie.
Supper: A less than ecstatic attempt at a raw pizza: portobella mushrooms, raw tomato sauce, olives, shallots, and a raw "cheese" made with cashews, nutritional yeast, garlic, lemon juice, sea salt, and water. It needs some work. I will post some pictures of it next time. It looked fabulous.

Final note...today is 5 weeks of 100% raw, gluten and dairy-free.

Time for Variety...Well Maybe

It has occurred to me that I have been eating about the same foods every day with not a lot of variety. Well, it is winter time here and there isn't a whole lot of produce that isn't getting shipped into town from somewhere. So I have been at the mercy of whatever my favorite stores stock.

I do most of my shopping for organic produce at Whole Foods. I love that place! The feng shui just pumps high energy from every corner. It is always clean and the food is beautifully displayed. It is a positive experience even when it is packed with people. Everyone is always so happy, polite and helpful...even the other customers! We seem to form an instant bond with each other that allows us to just ask perfect strangers where to find X. I have struck up some pretty interesting conversations with people I don't know over the oddest things! All in all, it is a very pleasant shopping experience compared to say, Wal*Mart. I believe those good vibes get transferred to the food we eat. You really don't want some angry, underpaid person handling your precious greens!

To anyone going raw I would say get to know the produce people where you shop! By name! This has really paid off for me on many occasions. It is to the point now that when the nice guys who stock the shelves see me coming, they will point out something new (Jerusalem artichokes!) or will let me know they have fresher kale in the back and just go get it for me.

So after perusing several raw cookbooks, I found a recipe for a raw "pizza" that looked good and easy to make. I had lovingly chosen just the right package of 3 beautiful portobella mushrooms for the crust part of these babies. I had perfected a tomato sauce that would be just right for this venture and had thrown an extra packet of sun-dried tomatoes into the shopping cart. Every ingredient was chosen with such care. After all, it has been at least 6 weeks since I have had real pizza...I wanted this to be a special moment with my portobellas. I had romantic notions of a red checkered tablecloth with a candle dripping wax down a Chianti bottle. Violin music played in the background as I savored the first bite of my creation. When I returned home from the store I tucked the special stash into the far reaches of the refrigerator and hid them with huge bunches of spinach, kale, chard and red bibb lettuce.

I was looking forward to my new venture in raw food production (it isn't "cooking") all day today, but when I went to find my portobellas they were gone! I ravaged the fridge and they were no where to be found. A short investigation revealed that they had been ruthlessly chopped up, thrown into some dish with smoked sausage, and had the precious life cooked right out of them! I secretly called my daughter a murderer and vowed to get even.

So to try something new, I came up with a less than happy spinach soup. I will try to satisfy my pizza urges another day.

Here's today's menu:
Breakfast: Green smoothie with an apple, a pear, 2 bananas, a fistful of kale and a dash of cinnamon.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with spinach, spring mix, 1/2 grapefruit, 2 oranges, an avocado, a few raisins, some sunflower seeds and a dressing of lemon juice, olive oil and Celtic sea salt.
Snack: Some power ball goo.
Supper: A soup of spinach, carrots, almond milk, and garlic, all blended. I chopped up some red and orange peppers, a Jerusalem artichoke and a couple of small carrots to throw in for some crunch.

Detox Symptoms

I woke up this morning feeling really run down. My muscles and joints were aching and I was tired from not being able to sleep from all the pain. I thought my massage therapist might have out done herself yesterday! I finally decided that perhaps I was suffering from a whole lot of detoxification going on throughout my body. So I made the decision to drink a lot of water and fluids today and that seemed to turn things around fairly quickly. By this afternoon I was in high gear with no pain at all.

Here's what I had today:
Breakfast: Ruby Red Ambrosia: a full quart of a juicy elixir of carrots, celery, apple, lemon, ginger root, cucumber and beet.
Lunch: Power balls
Supper: Salad with zucchini, jicama, sprouts, tomatoes, shallots, and olives with a little lemon juice.

Day 31

I celebrated my 30 days of success with a massage today. I can't say I feel exactly wonderful right now though. I feel like I have a low grade temperature and a little bit of a sore throat. I have cancelled an appointment for tomorrow and am going to get to bed.

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Muesli with sunflower, chia and pumpkin seeds, pecans, goji berries, raisins, dates, an apple and a banana with almond milk.
Supper: Mediterranean Salad with spinach, spring mix, fennel, tomatoes, onion, capers, olives, avocado, pine nuts and basil with lemon juice, Celtic sea salt and olive oil.

Day 30 & Beyond

My appetite seems to be decreasing! I have had several meals over the past week where I simply could not eat everything I had prepared for myself. I have heard that this happens on a raw diet, but I didn't really think it would happen to me. But it has and this is really good news. I am an overeater from way back and no diet has ever been very satisfying to me because I always felt like I wanted more to eat. Portion control has eluded me since I was a child, so I really like feeling full without eating so much.

On Saturday I didn't feel like eating much. I really only had 2 meals and a snack. Sunday morning I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat until 6:30 pm. It was sort of an unplanned fast. But I felt fine and went to bed Sunday night feeling considerably lighter.

On Saturday I had:
Breakfast: Muesli with pecans, chia, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, cranberries, dates, raisins, an apple and a banana with almond milk.
Lunch: Citrus Avocado Salad with grapefruit, 2 oranges, avocado, spinach and arugula with lemon juice, agave nectar, water and olive oil dressing.
Snack: The rest of the dehydrated veggie chips. Definitely not eating those again!

Sunday I fasted until 6:30 pm and then had:
Supper: Small salad with spinach, spring mix, radiccino, celery, and tomato with lemon juice and olive oil.
Snack: Guacamole with celery and baby carrots.